Cold Wind
by Insomniac Jay
Summary: Alternative to Remember Me. When Detective Jane Rizzoli returns home after faking her death due to learning that Charles Hoyt is after her again, she decides she needs to protect her family and most importantly, Dr. Maura Isles. A Rizzles Romance.
1. Explanation

"To say I'm in love with you is a complete understatement," The words slipped from her lips as she watched her best friend sleep. Six months ago, Jane Rizzoli faked her death. Charles Hoyt had connections with someone who'd been mimicking his M.O. in another city. Instead for letting the news slip to the media, Unit Chief Cavanaugh and Jane decided the best way to keep her family and friends safe was to just pretend to die. She wasn't in witness protection. That would mean that someone other than Cavanaugh would have to know she was alive. Killing Detective Marino gave Jane the perfect escape. No one would question how she died.

Maura began to stir in her sleep. She didn't even know that the woman she'd fallen in love with, the woman she'd thought she lost, was standing right above her. The words seemed like a dream. She always dreamt Jane saying those words. Jane knew Maura would be waking up soon so she decided now was the time to leave the woman that owned her heart. Jane sent a kiss in Maura's direction, though otherwise she left the woman.

* * *

><p>Twelve hours later.<p>

Maura's POV.

"I think I might be suffering form Dyspepsia." I told Detective Barry Frost. "It's common. Just an upset stomach." I informed him when his facial expression gave off the idea that he didn't understand what I was saying. "Though, it could be more serious. For now, facts just prove to be an upset stomach."

"Do you get those a lot?" Barry asked, trying to keep his eyes off the body between us. I glanced towards the sink. It was only fifteen feet away from us.

"Lately," I sighed. "Since...Jane..." I didn't have to finish. I didn't have to say anything else because Barry already knew what I was going through. I wondered if he'd been suffering as much as I did physically. "Cause of death was her slit throat." I didn't bother to use the proper terms with Barry. He made it clear it annoyed him.

"Thanks, doc." Barry took off his gloves. He was leaving. I sighed and looked down at the body in front of me.

"You look like Jane." I noticed it when they'd brought her in. I hadn't bothered going to the crime scene. I let someone else go for me. It'd been too close to Jane's old apartment. _Jane's old apartment._ Something snapped inside my mind. The woman looked like Jane. She was probably the same age as Jane. Her body was dropped off near Jane's old apartment. Before I could go after Barry, he'd been standing at the door again.

"You don't think..." He couldn't finish.

I nodded. "I think so..." I walked around the table. "But...who could he have gotten to...do...his...this time?"

"Maybe...when he came after her the second or third time." Barry offered. I was leaning against the threshold of the door. "We have to tell Cavanaugh. We have to tell Frankie and Angela...and Frank."

"We have to make sure we're right." I told him. "I'll tell Angela and Frankie...as soon as we have proof."

"Doc," Barry looked at me. "What proof do we need? The time we spend on looking for the proof is the time we'll waste catching this son of a bitch."

"We can't just assume! It could be a coincidence." I would never assume anything. I couldn't. I had no proof.

"Fine," Barry turned, suddenly. He was angry with me. The only friend of Jane's I had left. Vince Korsak gave up on me. "You'll deal with the next body on your table." His voice was cold. He was gone before I could say anything to him.

* * *

><p>Jane's POV<p>

It was time. It was time to tell her that I was alive. It was time to tell them all that I was alive, still. How could I reopen their broken hearts? They all had every right to hate me but I needed them. I didn't need them to protect me. I needed them to protect themselves. Maura would be the first person I'd tell. If I could enter the precint without being noticed by anyone. I knew it was a longshot, but I had to try. My hat draped down over my face.

"Excuse me," I heard from behind me. I only stopped. "You'll need to take your hat off." The man ordered. I removed the hat, but as soon as I did, the person in front of me stopped in her tracks. Ma.

"Janie..." My mother didn't have time to see if it'd really been me. She was on the floor in the next moment.

"Ma!" I called to her. I was at her side, as fast as I could possibly be. "Call an ambulance!" I ordered the Uni behind us. I could hear him fiddling with the phone. The elevator doors opened and Maura stepped out of them. She looked down at us, more worried about my mother. She hadn't realized that she'd been sitting right next to me. She looked up. The surprise on her face said it all. This was not how I wanted any of this to happen. Maura stared at me.

"Jane..." Was all she could gasp. Her attention was pulled back to my mother when the Uni returned with information about the ambulance. "Thank you," Her hands fumbled against his as she pushed his fingers away from my mother's unconsious body.

"I'm just trying to help, ma'am." He said to her.

"I'm a doctor." Maura was staring down at my stomach. That's where I'd shot myself all those months ago. "She'll be fine."

"Okay." The man gave up with a sigh. He stared at me for a moment. "Jane?" His tone brought me back to reality. "I thought you died."

Though I had no idea who this man was and I had no idea how he knew me but I smiled, slightly. "Guess Jesus is alive." I tried to joke, but the words came out too quiet and nervous. When the paramedics made it to us, which was easy for them, they were already attending to my mother. I stepped away to give them the space they needed. Maura stayed next to my mother the entire time. She even got into the ambulance with her.

"Janie." I heard from behind me. The voice was familiar. Too familiar.

"Frankie." I turned with a smile. I embraced him into my arms, quickly. I could feel his tears on my neck. "It's okay, Frankie." I knew I should've been prepared for this. I couldn't quite possibly be prepared to hold Frankie as he cried. I couldn't possibly be prepared to attend to my mother when she fainted. I couldn't possibly be prepared for Maura. She looked...okay.

"What the hell?" He pulled away, suddenly. There it is. That anger I'd prepared myself for. I knew he and Ma would resent me.

"I had to." I tried to explain but he was pushing me. "Frankie, come on." His jabs weren't too hard. He knew I could take it. He knew I would take it without hitting him back. "He's back." I finally said.

Frankie's hands stopped right in front of my chest. "What?" He wiped his eyes.

"The surgeon..." I noticed Vince and Barry coming from the elevators. "Charles Hoyt escaped...again."

* * *

><p>Maura's POV.<p>

How dare she? _How dare she? How _dare she? How _dare_ she? How dare _she_? How dare she? It didn't matter how I asked myself that question repeatedly in my own mind, I'd have the same answer. Which was nothing.

"Ms. Isles?" I heard from near the door. I turned to the doctor. "Angela's going to be fine. She hasn't been eating well."

"Neither of us." I glanced to the tray of food a nurse had brought in for the both of us. "I'll make sure she eats this when she wakes up." I promised. I knew I could keep that promise. I could keep that promise because Jane was alive. _Jane_ was alive. Jane _was_ alive. Jane was _alive_. _Jane was alive_. The thought echoed in my head, almost distracting me.

"Great," The doctor smiled to me. He was my age. He was very handsome. If I'd met him three years ago, I definitely would've been intrigued to get to know him. If I'd met him before I got to know Jane. "She's ready to go whenever she's comfortable to."

"Don't give her that option," The doctor and I looked to the direction from which the voice had startled us. "She'll never leave." Jane.

"Do you know the patient?" Doctor Campbell looked down at the chart.

"I'm her daughter." Jane stared at her mother, now. I could tell she'd felt guilty. She should've. She did it. She left us. She left me to take care of her erratic mother for her when Frank left her. When Frankie gave up on achieving anything because by Jane's example, being successful meant you'd die an untimely death.

"Ah," Doctor Campbell smiled a welcome. "She's fine." He set the chart down at the foot of her bed in a holder made for it. "I'll leave you all..alone." Did he sense how much I wanted to hurt her? He couldn't have otherwise he would have had security drag one or both of us out of the building.

"You faked your own death." I didnt' bother looking up at her. I could tell my voice was flat. It was odd how I could pull such a thing off when my mind was racing with different emotions.

"Yes." She took a seat on the otherside of her mother. "He's back, Maur." Her eyes searched mine, pleadingly. She wouldn't get her way this time with those big brown eyes.

"You should've killed him when you had the chance." My words were too cold. I could see I'd stunned her. Her body tensed up and she just dropped her eyes to her lap. I watched her fiddle with something on Angela's wrist. When the older woman began to stir, Jane stood, ready to take in whatever her mother had to throw at her. Which hopefully, in my own selfish desires, was a chair or a rock or something that would hurt her.

"Janie?" Angela had no trouble adjusting her eyes to the fluorescent lighting. She probably thought she was still asleep. "God, I'm dreaming. Did I die?"

"No, ma." Jane's fingers were raking her mother's hair. "I'm right here, ma." She wouldn't tell her mother why she'd left and come back. I knew her. She wouldn't tell her mother until it was absolutely neccesary.

Angela's reaction settled all of my hopes and desires. She slapped Jane across the face. The noise turned the heads of passing strangers. Some even stopped, afraid they should interfere. "How dare you!"

"I deserved that." Jane shook her head, accepting the pain. She pulled away from Angela, though.

"Do you know what I've been through, Jane?" Angela was assisting my help to accompany her with yelling at her daughter. I reverted my eyes somewhere else in the room. I would not be dragged into this. I hated Jane on a much deeper level. I wouldn't forgive her. I didn't have unconditional love for her.

"Ma," Jane tried but her mother only slapped her again, this time on the arm to shut her up.

"You are _just_ like your father, Jane Rizzoli._ Selfish_. You don't care about anyone other than yourself." I queued the music in my mind. "You leave people and you're only worried about yourself. I don't care what ever your reasoning was, Jane. I _don't_ care! It was still selfish. What ever it was, we could've protected you. We could've _helped_ you!" Angela's words were covered by a shaky voice. She was crying.

"I did it to protect you, Ma!" Jane was also crying but she kept a safe enough distance from Angela. She didn't want to get hit again. "I did it to protect all of you! Do you think I fucking cared whether or not I died? I didn't want any of you to get hurt. I shot myself to protect, Frankie. How could you call me selfish?" Her words stung. They were true. Jane wasn't selfish. She just didn't think clearly.

"Janie," Angela's voice was calmer, quieter. "I love you, so much. Janie, I love you so much." She reached to pull Jane into a hug. When their bodies connected, I heard sobs from both women. I knew I should give them this time to themselves. I slipped away from the room, closing the door behind me.

Two hours later.

I brushed my toes against the carpet as some broadcasting of a baseball game dimmed my living room. I was too busy running my fingers through Jo's hair. She watched the game, as I did so. I spent a lot of nights like this since Jane faked her death. This is how Jane and I spent most of our nights. She watched a game with Jo and I, while I ran my fingers through Jo's hair and my attention was caught on something completely different than the broadcasting. Jane never noticed. If she'd ask me if I saw an amazing play by the players, I'd simply tell her I'd missed it.

She was too oblivious and at peace to notice that I wasn't ever paying attention to the game. Jo jumped off of the couch and ran around it.

"Where are you going, girl?" I looked leaned over the top of the to find Jo laying next to Bass. I smiled then turned back around. My fingers searched for the remote while my eyes focused on the people on the television. When I found the remote, I simply pressed the biggest button on it, turning off the television. I was off the couch and walking to check the alarm system only seconds later. In my haste to towards the door, I noticed moving shadows near the door. I was going to go grab the gun I'd inherited from Jane's mother that had belonged to Jane, but I'd seen Jane on the other side of the window now, looking into my house.

"Open the door." She ordered. It wasn't pleading, it wasn't impatient, it was just a command. I obliged as my fingers lazily fumbled with the bolt lock. Before I could even get my fingers to the knob, it was turning and the door was opening.

"What are you doing here?" I looked towards my kitchen to see what time it was. I knew it wasn't too late. I just didn't expect to see her outside of my house, peeking in.

"Did you know this was here?" She pointed to the welcome mat.

"Yeah-" My answer was cut short when I saw something glisten from that direction. I took an actual look at the welcome mat. There was a scapel there. "No...I didn't know."

"Don't worry, I already called 911." She quickly closed the door behind her.

"Okay..." I looked up at her. She looked tired. She looked like she hadn't slept right since she faked her death. "Then...what are you still doing here?"

"I have to protect you." She said, bravely.

"I can take care of myself, thank you." I was reaching for the door to open it but her fingers caught my wrist. She pulled my arm away from the door. "Jane, stop it." I tried again but she only completed the motion again.

"_I have to protect you_." She repeated, emphasizing ever single word, carefully. I glared up at her but I accepted defeat. "I hear you have Jo Friday." She looked around.

"She's over there." I pointed towards the living room. Jane didn't even wait for my permission to enter my home any further than she'd already had. I couldn't make out the figures but I assumed she'd found Jo when she began talking.

"Hi, girl." Jane whispered. "Did you miss me?"

Jo barked once.

"I missed you too, girl." Jane laughed. "Stop!" I heard licking sounds from them. I rolled my eyes and turned on the closest light. It lit up the kitchen and dining room. "Can we talk, Maur?"

"Don't call me that." I had my back turned to her. "You lost those rights."

"Everyone is mad at me." Jane was closer but not too close. She was smart enough to keep her distance. "I know I hurt everyone else. I know I hurt you. I just need you to listen to me right now."

"Fine." I turned to her. I held a cup of tea in my hand. "Explain."

"A year ago, in Chicago, there were murders that mimicked his precisely."

* * *

><p>Jane's POV<p>

"He got to someone, Maur-Maura." I corrected myself, quickly. I didn't miss the face she made but I continued, ignoring it. "Three women that looked a lot like me. They were all cops. Not detectives but cops. They still haven't found the guy."

"How do you know it's a guy?" Maura turned away from me. "Last time it was a woman." She looked outside her windows. The lights from the police cars were still flashing.

"Okay...they still haven't found the UnSub." I corrected, a bit annoyed. She was doing it on purpose. "When I shot myself, I knew this would be the perfect opportunity to delude him into thinking he'll never be able to kill me himself. I thought I'd be able to protect all of you, but after Cavanaugh recieved an anonymous letter stating that he'd just simply kill all of the people closest to me because all of you made me who I am, anyway, I knew I had to get back her. So, I came back, but I kept my distance. I would try protecting all of you. He must've noticed me watching all of you because then I recieved an anonymous letter at my hotel room."

"Inside of the envelope was pictures of me watching you. Specifically you. Althought he stated in the letter that he knew I was watching my family and friends just as he had been, he noticed that I protected you the most. He escaped the night I recieved that letter." I'd been rubbing the scars on my hands. It was a habit when I was nervous or deep in thought.

"Jane..." Her tone was cautious. She was going to say something else but a knock on the door interrupted her. She didn't say anything, she actually seemed relieved that she didn't have to say anything. A sigh escaped her lips when her back was turned to me. I followed behind her, closely. Ready for an attack if there had been any threat.

"Dr. Isles?" A scrawny Uni asked as he held the scapel in an evidence bag. "We were aware this was on your porch?"

"Not until Jane called you." She informed.

"We'd like to ask you some questions." He had his notepad ready.

"In the morning." Maura told him.

"But...ma'am." He was caught off guard.

"Look, Shawn is it?" She tried to read the name on his uniform. "I'm the Chief Medical Examiner. My answers from tonight will be the same in the morning. So, you or anyone else can ask me in the morning." Shawn flashed me a look but thanked her and left. Maura closed the door again. She could feel me right behind her so she waited until I took a few steps back.

"I can't leave you here, unprotected." I told her as I followed back to the living room. Maura sat down on the couch, I took the loveseat across from it. I would've sat next to her if I hadn't been too afraid of her slapping me like Ma had. Ma held back when she slapped me, Maura was pissed enough to hit me as hard as she wanted.

When Maura didn't say anything, I watched her, studying her expressions. Anger, fear, remorse, pain, disbelief, and that was the cycle for fifteen minutes. "What are you afraid of?" I finally asked her when fear had stayed on her face, breaking the pattern.

"That I'll wake up," Maura whispered without looking at me.

"And I won't be here." I finished for her. I'd been afraid of the same thing for months. I kept dreaming that I'd actually died, so eventually the nightmares escaped into reality. "I'm not going anywhere, again. I promise."

"Until you really die." She looked up at me. "I actually thought you were dead." She searched my eyes. "I refused to do your autopsy. Who did they have do that?"

"Cavanaugh told them that you would, and your assistant was told that the hospital would." I offered up. I knew the only way back into her heart was to be honest. Even if it meant that I would have to break her heart all over again.

"What are you going to do about him?" She was careful not to say his name.

"Track him down." I sighed. "Track him down and kill him once and for all."

* * *

><p>So, here's the thing. I'm uh...I'm going through Chemotherapy. So that's why I'm trying to publish this as soon as possible. The story is fairly long, but when I'm feeling up to it I'll publish it as quickly as possible. Read, review, recycle and by recycle I mean seriously...save the earth. Go pick up that trash on your floor and sort it out.<p> 


	2. Conviction

Maura fell asleep on the couch as she watched Jane. She was afraid to wake up to the brunette gone. Jane assured her that she wouldn't be going anywhere any time soon. Not until she knew that Maura was safe.

The lighting from the morning and Bass breaking something in the living room woke Maura up. She stirred on the couch until she finally gave into the day and turned over to the edge of the couch. She saw Jane had taken refuge on the other couch. She smiled for three seconds before she realized what it meant for Jane to be asleep on her couch. _It wasn't a dream_. Maura thought to herself. _She actually left us then came back here_. She could hear Jo Friday padding across the room to her, aware that her new owner had been awake.

Jo Friday jumped to meet the available spot next to Maura before she barked. The noise stirred Jane on the other couch. Maura didn't know if she should pretend to be asleep or simply confront the lying woman. Jo Friday left Maura to go greet Jane.

"Hi, girl." Jane's voice was tired. She only opened one eye. She hoped Jo would think she was still asleep, when Jo appeared unconvinced, Jane cracked a smile and let the dog onto the small couch with her. "Are you hungry?" She looked to Maura. "Dog food?"

"First cabinet at the top." Maura yawned.

"Okay." Jane finally noticed what Maura had been wearing when the woman stood up and stretched her neck. She raised her arms to help her blood flow. Maura wore leggings and a tight shirt that belonged to Jane when she was apart of the Police Academy.

"I'm going to shower." Maura announced when there had been a long silence.

"Okay." Jane said from the kitchen as she poured the food into Jo's bowl. "I'll take you to work."

"I can drive myself." Maura stopped just before going up the stairs. "I'm pretty sure he can't get me in my car. It doesn't fit his M.O. to kill me by blowing my car up or something."

"I know," Jane turned to Maura. "I just want to make sure you're safe."

"No offense," And by that she meant 'much offense', "While you were away living your life, he's had someone watching me here. You weren't too worried about protecting me when you left us. You knew he had someone killing people. What made you think that he would just settle for you killing yourself?"

Jane winced at Maura's words. "I'm sorry." She dropped arms to her side. She looked down at Jo, who'd been oblivious to her parents fihgting, then to the door. "I guess I'll just go."

"That would be best." Maura folded her arms. Jane sighed but nodded. She went to the couch she'd been asleep on and grabbed her coat.

"I'll see you...later." She knew that Maura wouldn't be aware of Jane watching her, but she had to make sure the blonde knew she had every intention of making up the last year to her.

* * *

><p>"I have one condition." Chief Cavanaugh said to Jane just before she stood up. "You have to see the department therapist. You never really got a chance to mourn your own death and all of this have been and will continue to be very stressful and tramautic. If you can make it an appointment with Dr. Adkins once a week for three months, then I'll reinstate you."<p>

"Done!" Jane was standing now, excited.

"You can go down and get your new gun and badge." He smiled up at the eager detective. "After this Hoyt case, though, you will be on probation."

"Why?" Jane looked at him.

"Because, you'll have to prove you're fit." He didn't just mean physically fit. He meant emotionally and mentally fit. Jane simply nodded. "After therapy is over, I'll talk to Dr. Adkins to see if you're ready to be back."

"Fine." Jane looked at the pictures on his wall. "Does this mean no field work?"

"_After _Hoyt." He emphasized. Jane grinned and nodded. She left his office without another word. Just as she closed the door behind herself, she noticed Maura exiting the elevator.

"Janie," Vince greeted, eagerly. "God, it feels so nice to have you back. This just feels so right. Doesn't it, Frost?"

"Sure does." Barry said with a slight smile as Jane sat down across from him. "We sure did miss you, Jane. I thought I'd have to raise our 'cute interracial babies' all by myself."

"Oh, God." Jane rolled her eyes. Maura locked eyes with her for a moment but steered clear of Jane. She went straight to Vince Korsak. "You know, that woman had the audacity to plead innocent in court?"

"She was a nutcase, alright." Barry laughed.

"Detective," Maura greeted Vince. "I've got the results back for Abby Lamb. The rape kit came back positive. There are several toxins in her blood but the most amount I noticed was Rufonohl."

"They rufied her, raped her, then killed her." Vince looked down at the paper, not actually reading it. He just wanted to keep his hands and eyes busy as he processed everything.

"What case is this?" Jane asked.

"Seventeen year old girl was found dead, yesterday." Barry answered. "She was found right inside the restroom of the Robber." He shook his head. "Shame."

"Yeah," Vince joined in. "They had to shut the place down." He sighed. "The whole place is considered evidence."

"Where are we going to go for drinks, tonight?" Jane felt bad that had been the one question she'd asked.

"There's a pub down the street from here, opposite of the Robber." Vince closed the file in front of him. Maura had still been staring at him, waiting for him to ask for something else. Vince had a habit of doing so. "Doc, if you want, you can come too."

"I've got plans," Maura placed her hand on her hip as her other leaned her against his desk. "But, thank you."

"Suit yourself," Vince made a face. "Thank you." He pointed to the file. She only nodded and walked away without another word. "Surprised she has a date."

"Yeah," Barry looked to Jane. "She hasn't been right since you left." His choice of words made Jane feel uneasy.

"She's sure been giving me a hard time." Jane rubbed the back of her neck. "He left a scapel on her porch, last night. I stayed the night and she was so eager to get me the hell out of there. Going on about how it didn't fit his M.O. if she took her own car. I just wanted to make sure she was safe, you know?"

"She's pissed, Janie." Vince had joined them, by dropping his chair next to their desks. He plopped down on the seat without missing any part of the converstion. "She had to take care of everything for you. Funeral arrangements. Get rid of some of your stuff. I hear she kept a lot of the stuff to herself in her garage and storage. After your dad left your mom, Doc opened her home with open but grieving arms."

"I think she's taking it harder than the rest of us." Barry commented. "We're just glad you're back." He pointed between Vince and himself. "Frankie is still in shock but he's happy. Your mom hasn't been happier since the day before you shot yourself. No one has got ahold of Frank and Tommy."

"Tommy." Jane echoed. "Where is he?"

"No one knows." Vince chewed on his gum. "Last time I heard, he'd made his way to the streets of New York."

"Where's my dad?" She asked.

"He told your mom he needed a change." Vince's words dripped anger and disappointment. "Ran off with some twenty year old."

"Seriously?" Jane had wondered why she hadn't seen her dad when she'd come back to watch her family. She just assumed he'd left town temporarily.

"Yeah," Vince made a face. "Don't know why anyone would leave that woman." He was staring at the picture of Jane and her mother on her desk.

"Uh..." Jane stared at Vince. "Okay..."

"Back to the Doc." He realized he'd been drooling. "She likes you."

"She hates me." Jane wasn't going to let the subject of Vince and her mother be forgotten.

"She _likes_ you." Barry clarified. "Loves you, probably."

"You guys are idiots." Jane laughed, trying to hide how much she'd hoped they were right. Every day Jane thought of Maura. She could've handled losing anyone but Maura. That's who she'd spent so much time trying to protect.

"Okay, Janie." Vince barked a laugh. "So, your mom's throwing a welcome back party for you tonight."

Barry hit Vince's arm.

"What?" Vince yelled as he attended to his hurt arm.

"It was supposed to be surprise, wise guy!" He hit Vince's arm again. Jane only laughed. She missed her two best friends so much. Although, she hadn't realized they were her best friends until her return. Maura had been much more than her best friend. Maura was the love of her life. Before she faked her death, they were practically in a relationship. Only, Jane was in love with Maura and she was sure Maura felt no such thing back.

"Sorry, Janie." Vince looked at her, apologetically.

She waved her hand, dismissing the slip. "No harm, no foul." She grinned. "I always like a heads up. Means I can dress somewhat appropriately."

"Don't let your Ma know it was me that slipped," Vince looked to Barry for a moment, who'd been looking at his computer. He then mouthed, "tell her it was him", but when Barry glaned up, Vince looked away, quickly.

"Right," Jane looked down at her desk. Nothing had changed. She wondered if Cavanaugh kept it the same because he knew she'd be back or because Barry and Vince had begged him to. "I'm going down to the Deli. Anyone want anything?" She hoped they'd say no.

"Nah," Barry typed away at his computer. Vince only shook his head. Jane smiled, happily. Down in the Deli, she noticed her mother helping a young girl pick out something frm the menu.

"What's that?" The girl asked as she pointed to a sample of soup.

"Tomato soup." Angela informed, with a grin that stretched from ear to ear. Working in service made her really happy. It'd been the first real smile she had in a year. It'd been the first good day she had in a year. "Janie!" Angela threw her hands up. "Kyla, this is _my _daughter, Jane. Jane this is Patricia's daughter, Kyla."

"I thought she died?" Kyla looked up to her mother who'd been standing directly behind her.

"That was greatly exaggerated." Jane kneeled down to the young girl. "It's nice to meet you, Kyla."

"Nice to meet you, Jane." The girl smiled as she tugged on Jane's hand, passing it off as a handshake. "Your mommy really missed you."

"I know." Jane looked to Angela, who'd still been smiling. "I missed her too." Kyla smiled briefly but skipped to a table, coloring in her book. "Jeez, Ma, looks like you got laid."

Angela's smile disappeared, turning into a glare. "Young lady,"

"At least one of us did." Jane bit her lip to hide her smile. Angela ignored the comment and smiled again.

"Hi," Patricia smiled, clearing her throat. "I'm Patricia." She extended her hand.

"Hello," Jane shook the woman's hand. "How do you two know each other?"

"I'm Maura's neighbor," Patricia informed. "And her girlfriend."

Jane choked._ Did she just say girlfriend? Maura has a girlfriend? Maura's gay? What? Since when? What have I been missing? _"I'm sorry," Jane brushed her mother off, who'd rushed to her with a drink in her hand. "Did you just say girlfrined?"

"Yeah," Patricia's smile faded, slightly. "We've been dating for about two months."

"I didn't know..." Jane looked down at the floor, trying to recollect on moments that could've given the doctor away as gay. "Congragulations?"

"I suppose." Patricia laughed. "So, you're the infamous Jane."

"Depends on what's making me infamous." Jane leaned against the counter.

"Faking your death," Patricia's finger tips met each other lightly as she counted off. "Probably the best female detective in Boston. Maura's best friend. Local hero."

"I'm not a hero." Jane corrected. "I wish I could say I've heard a lot about you."

"Don't worry," Patricia smiled. "You've been off living an entire different life...protecting your family."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Jane's smile faded. She now could tell that the woman was being sarcastic.

"Nothing." Patricia looked to Angela. "Thank you for the club sandwich." She grabbed the plate in front of her. "I'll see you at the party, tonight." She didn't bother saying anything to Jane.

Jane remembered why'd been in the Deli now. "I don't want a party, Ma."

"Come on!" Angela begged. "You've been gone for a year, Janie. I need to throw something for you."

"Throw me..." Jane racked her mind for ideas. "Throw me a million bucks."

"If I had that money, Janie." Angela said as she cleaned the counter with her cloth that always droped from her apron. "We wouldn't even be here."

"Yeah," Jane sighed. "Who did you invite? And why is Ms. Bitch going?" She shot a glance to Patricia, who'd been watching them instead of her daughter.

"Just some of your friends, coworkers, old friends from school." Angela said, mindlessly as she walked around the counter.

"So..." Jane took a seat at a table. "Basically anyone who thought I was dead?"

"Yeah." Angela smiled. She looked at her daughter again. She couldn't stop looking at her, she'd never ever get tired of seeing Jane ever again in her life. She never thought she'd be able to Jane again until she died, herself.

"Where's this party?" Jane finally recalled hearing that Angela had lived with Maura now.

"Dirty Robber." Angela said, simply, as if it'd been obvious.

Jane sighed in relief. "Thank God." She felt her lips twitching into a smile when she noticed that Patricia had still been staring at her. "Ma, can I get a coffee, though?" It was for Maura. She'd have to inform the good doctor that her _girlfriend _was at the precinct.

"Sure." Angela got up without questions and went back into the small kitchen. She poured the coffee from holder. "Sugar, creamer, or both?"

"Both." She knew exactly how Maura liked her coffee. She would need three packs of each and let the doctor decide how much was enough for herself.

"Here." Angela slid the coffee across the counter. Jane grabbed and left a five dollar bill in it's place. "I _really_ missed you, Janie."

"I know, Ma." Jane reached over and kissed Angela's cheek. "I'll be down here a lot for the next three months anyway." She didn't give her mother time to ask why. She was already walking away, not bothering saying anything to Patricia or even looking at her.

* * *

><p>Jane's POV<p>

I waited for the elevator doors to open, tapping my right foot, growing even more impatient as the seconds ticked on. When I heard the bing and the doors begin to slid, I was out before they were even completely open. Maura was hovering next to her laptop, which had been across the room from the dead body she had stitched up.

"Hey," I smiled as I put the coffee down on the table next to the door. "Got you some coffee." She would have to come over here to get it.

"Thanks." Maura didn't bother moving from her laptop. "Is there anything I can help you with, detective?" She asked as she slid her glove off. Before she could start with the next one, the freed hand had been typing furiously against the keyboard of her laptop. She pulled away to look at me and finish taking the other glove off.

"I was in the Deli," I said as I shifted my weight. "I ran into Patricia."

Maura's fingers froze. "You did?" Her voice an octave higher. I smiled. "W-what did you uh talk about?"

"You two have been dating for two months," I shrugged as if it weren't news. It was a lot of news. Maura sighed, thinking she was safe from my wrath. "Why didn't you tell me Maur...a?"

"It wasnt important." She shrugged. I could tell she was tense, though.

"What do you mean it wasn't important?" I started crossing the room to her.

"My personal life." Her fingers were brushing the keys again.

"You talked about sleeping with _guys_ before." I took a seat on the counter. "Did you think that I would judge you?"

"No." Maura closed her laptop. "I didn't really even find out I was interested in women until you died." The way she said the last word made me flinch as if she was about to punch me.

"How did you find out?" I was intrigued. I wasn't judging at all. Maura knew I was only interested in women as well. I'd come to the conclusion when I couldn't get myself to sleep with Special Agent Gabriel Dean. Maura opened her mouth to say something but one glance towards the door and she closed it quickly. Patricia had been at the door, waiting for Maura's attention. I sighed and slid off the counter.

"Are you coming to the party?" I asked her, demanding her attention.

"Uh," She looked at Patricia then to me. "I have a date." She glanced to Patricia again.

"Maura...it's my welcome back party." I stressed. "You're the one riding me so hard about being back." I internally smiled at my choice of words. I knew they would bother Patricia. "The least you could do is show up and show everyone that you still care."

"Is that what this is about?" Maura turned to me, completely ignoring Patricia now. I would've smiled if it didn't mean that Maura was now mad at me. "You think I stopped caring?"

"I don't know." I shrugged. "You're more pissed at me than relieved I'm alive and that I'm home."

"Maybe I'm just that pissed at you." I could hear Patricia snickering. "Everyone else is still in shock. Just wait. They'll be pissed at you once this is all over. They'll remember that you left them. You could have left without lying to them, Jane. They would've understood the importance of giving off the impression that you'd died. I would've understood."

"You can't lie." I stated.

"I would've done it for you!" Maura threw her hands up. "It was to protect you!"

"Maur..." I stepped closer to her. She glared at me and took a step back. "Fine." I sighed. "So we're not friends? You just don't care anymore?"

"No." Maura looked up at me. "We're not friends anymore."


	3. Victory

Jane's feet padded the pavement, hard, as she ran after him. He was mocking her. Laughing over his shoulder.

"You're never going to catch me!" He laughed as he turned a corner. It was just that attitude that got his partner killed. Jane wasn't playing around. This was her life in danger. This was her family's life in danger. Her friends. Hoyt steered right, disappearing behind a corner. It lead Jane into a warehouse. Just where he wanted her. Just where she was sure she would kill him. She walked slowly into the building, her gun was up and ready just in case she needed to use it. She would shoot anything that moved.

"Come find me, Janie." Charles laughed from the shadows.

"Son a bitch, fight me like a man." She demanded in a low voice. She knew he could hear her just as she could hear all of the movements he made. She saw movement, wasting a bullet, she shot at the shadow of a cat. "Shit." She hoped she hadn't actually got the cat.

Charles watched her as she carefully walked through the warehouse. If only he'd known where he was, she would've gotten him so easily.

"Come out!" Jane demanded with a growl. When there were no movements, Jane stared ahead of her. Something wasn't right. Everyone had been out of it's place instead of the boxes of ahead of her. They were neatly stacked. She looked above the boxes, there was a rail that had a hole in it. Someone could've easily fallen safely into the boxes. Someone could've arranged for it to look that way, as well. Just as she started to turn to give up on her theories about the boxes, Charles bolted from behind him.

One shot. To the back of his head. He dropped, a thud from the dark declared that Jane had hit her target. She pulled out her flashlight and walked into the direction to which she shot. It didn't take long for her to see a pool of blood travelling to her.

Charles Hoyt was dead.

* * *

><p>Maura's POV<p>

I worked on his body. This man who killed so many people. This man who personally tortured Jane with his own hands as well as his tactics. I stitched him close then took my gloves off. Jane had been on probation now. Desk job only for three months. I couldn't help but feel somewhat happy about her situation. She wouldn't put herself in danger for three months. If she did, she'd lose her job. Knowing Jane, any risk was a risk to take if it meant she was saving a life.

"Working hard or hardly working?" Vince's voice pierced my thoughts. I turned to him with a smile.

"Neither," I smiled. "For once, I have absolutely nothing to do. Therefor there isn't any work for me to hardly work on or work hard on."

"Doc," Vince surrendered. "It was just a joke."

"I know." I made a face. "What can I do for you, detective?"

"Celebration drinks." He looked at Charles Hoyt's body. "I'm inviting you."

"Jane and I are no longer friends." I informed him as I covered the body.

"It's not a celebration for just her victory," Vince's tone was protective of his old partner. "For getting another sadistic scumbag like him off the streets."

"Hmm," I grabbed all of my tools in one swift sweep. "When you put it that way." I dropped them in the sink moments later. "I'll be there."

"Great!" He didn't stay long enough for me to change my mind. I smiled and shook my head at the overly excited older man. In a lot of ways, he reminded me of a young boy. Now, I had to figure out how I would deal with a drunk Jane. It'd been a month since I told her we weren't friends. She had the impression I also didn't care about her because I hadn't clarified just because we weren't friends didn't mean I didn't care. I wanted her to think that, even if it weren't the truth. She stayed away from me just as easily as I stayed from her. I only saw her at work when I dropped something off to a homicide detective, or when she picked or dropped off Angela at my house. This was going to be a long night for many reasons. Mainly, because I could finally celebrate that Charles Hoyt was no longer physically torturing Jane. But even his death wouldn't take her nightmares away.

* * *

><p>"Another round." Vince told the bartender. He returned to the booth that occupied; Jane, Frankie, Barry, Maura, and Patricia.<p>

"So, Janie." Frankie demanded his older sister's attention as she stared at Patricia. The woman had been kissing on Maura's neck. "What are you going to do now?" It'd been the million dollar question.

"I'm thinking about switching divisions," Jane admitted. She'd been thinking of that since she returned. She dedicated the past month to finding Hoyt and weighing her options.

"What?" The booth was quiet now. Only Patricia had continued kissing Maura.

"It's fine." Jane smiled to them all, except for Maura. "You guys will still see me."

"Homicide is your life." Vince told her.

"No," Jane pinched the bridge of her nose. "Saving lives is my life. I'm perfectly capable of doing in other divisions. Plus, the work we do, whenever we're called, the person is already dead."

Offended, Vince had to defend. "But we save more lives."

"Other lives." Frankie agreed. "Janie, you can't quit."

"I'm not quitting, Frankie." Jane looked to her brother. "I've done all I needed to do in homicide. I think it'll be better if I'm not there anymore." Maura felt her stomach turn. Had she been apart of this feeling? Apart of this decision? Surely Jane couldn't believe that she was useless just because Maura told her they weren't friends.

"Are you sure about this?" Barry asked.

"Positive." Jane forced a smile. "Last round of drinks as a team?" She'd been talking to specifically to the men.

"Alright," Vince sighed. The last round turned into three more rounds. Jane was not feeling the affects of the alcohol in her system. She stumbled to the restroom to pee before she called a cab home. In the restroom, she noticed Maura and Patricia. She tried not to let it bother her.

"I have to go pick Kyla up," Patricia leaned her forehead against Maura's shoulder as the blonde washed her hands. "Should I come by after I drop her off to her father's?"

"No." Maura turned to her girlfriend. "I've got an early morning, tomorrow." Jane felt her stomach knot up. _They're sleeping together? Of course they're sleeping together. They've been together for three months. _

"Okay." Patricia took a deep breath. "I'll see you tomorrow. Love you."

"Yeah." She kissed her girlfriend back and watched her leave._ So, she didn't tell her she loved her back. Maybe she doesn't. Who are you kidding, Rizzoli? She just doesn't want to torture you. She knows you're listening. _Jane's fingers drunkenly fumbled with the lock on the stall door. She pulled it open, finally. Maura was staring at her through the mirror.

"Sorry," Jane tried to appear as sober as possible as she walked to wash her hands. When Maura hadn't stopped looking at her through the mirror, Jane sighed heavily and through her hands up. "What?"

"Nothing," The doctor turned her own faucet off. She went to the automatic dryers. "I just...I don't know. I suppose I'll miss you." She was referring to Jane switching divisions.

"Thanks." Jane wasn't convinced. She was sure that Maura didn't care a thing about her anymore. "See you around." Not. Jane was the first to leave, although Maura had beat her to the rest room by five minutes. She tried not to think of what Maura and Patricia had been doing within those five minutes.

"Can I take you home?" One of the men that joined the party asked. He didn't work for the police department at all, actually. He just saw people having fun and decided he should be apart of it.  
>"My mom always told me not to get in the car with strangers," Jane smiled, slightly. "I'll just call a cab."<p>

"Isn't that getting in the car with a stranger?" He was sure he would take her home. He wanted to. The man glanced up and down Jane's firm body. Most men would probably think she was butch, hell maybe she kind of was, but it was sexy on her. He couldn't imagine her being a pound heavier and finding it sexy. "Look," He turned to Vince. "I'm taking this woman home. My name is James Goudin. I live at 4352 Arrow Rd. I work as an accountant for Billyar. If you need anything else, my number is on this card. I'd like to this woman home because she's too drunk. I think she'll feel safer if I give you all my information. That way if I kill her then you'll avenge her death."

"I'm not afraid of you being found for killing me," Jane sat down at the bar. "I'm afraid of dying." She knew they wouldn't take the admission seriously.

Vince took a good look at the man then shrugged. "I trust him."

"Thanks," Jane glared.

"I'll take her home." Maura said as she approached the bar. "I haven't really drank much. I'm still good to drive."

"Are you sure?" Vince looked to Jane, although he'd been asking Maura.

"Yes." Maura looked to James. "So, your services won't be needed here." James only sighed but took the hint and left them alone. "Come on."

"Why?" Jane didn't move. Instead, she grabbed another drink that James had left. She poured it into her own empty glass. "You haven't said more than two words to me since my return."

"Don't be ridiculous," Maura slid the glass away from Jane. "The first day you were back we had a full conversation."

"And an argument, and conversation, and a final argument." Jane was reaching for the glass but Maura kept it safely away from her. "Maur, stop."

Maura felt a shiver up her spine from the nickname. "Jane, I'm taking you home. Let's just go, please."

"Fine." Jane carefully threw her feet off the barstool. "Let's call it my departing gift from you."

"When's your last day in homicide?" Maura asked as she wrapped her left arm around Jane's slim waist.

"Soon." Was all Jane mumbled.

"How soon is soon?" Maura wasn't having trouble with holding Jane, only she just loved the feel on the woman in her arms. She loved it more than she would have admitted to herself. She spent a month trying to forget what it felt like to hold Jane.

"Pretty soon." Jane sighed. When they reached Maura's car, she tried to help herself to opening the door. "I got it." She snapped when Maura tried help her.

"Okay." Maura closed the door behind Jane. "Where are you living now?" Maura finally asked, realizing she had no idea where she was going.

"Frankie's building." Jane had her forehead rested upon the cold window. It calmed her down. Maura drove to Frankie's from memory. She'd only been there once and it wasn't even her that drove there. Occasionally, Jane helped her. When she found a reasonable parking spot for Jane's current state, she helped the brunette out of her car.

"Which level? Which number?" She asked, getting into the elevator.

"Nine and three-twenty-five." Jane sighed. Maura pressed the ninth number on the pad for the elevator. She helped Jane find her keys and open the door. When they were finally in, Jane found her couch easily. "I'm safe now." She said, pulling a pillow close to her.

"Do you still have nightmares?" Maura asked as she took a seat next to Jane.

"Every single night." Jane said against the pillow.

"Maybe we should get you to your bed." Maura stood up, reaching for Jane's hand. Jane sighed but took the hand and lazily walked to her room, using Maura as support when she needed it.

"I'm going to miss you too, Maur." Jane said as Maura tucked her in. She'd taken the brunette's clothes off, stripping her down to her underwear. "I already miss you."

"You shouldn't have left me," Maura said as she turned off the lamp.

"I thought I was protecting you." Jane sat up. "I would never leave you willingly."

"But you did," Maura turned to her. "You tried to protect me without even consulting me. I wasn't in danger. I'd never been in danger before when he was back."

"Why didn't you do my autopsy?" Jane's voice was low. "I mean...why wouldn't you have done it?"

"It hurt too much," Maura took a seat on the end of the bed. "I wouldn't have been able to do that to your body. It felt like it would've been violating you. Violating the memory of you." There was silence.

"It's late." Jane stated. "I have a guest room." She smiled, slightly.

"No, thank you." For once, it seemed like Maura wasn't angry with Jane. "I have an early morning."

"I thought that was just an excuse." Jane admitted, quietly.

"It wasn't," Maura looked at Jane. "There's a hospital in New York that wants me.

* * *

><p>I didn't want to end the chapter this way, tbh. I had to. I'm thinking of doing a crossover for the JJ and Emily shippers of Criminal Minds. I'd love it, actually. Before Rizzles, that's all I cared about.<p> 


	4. Desperation

The word count for the chapter definitely should make up for how short the previous chapter was. I've given you almost 13,000 words...in about what? 6 hours? I'm addicted!

* * *

><p>"Job interview?" Jane knew that she was leaving homicide so that it would be easier for Maura and herself but she was only moving to a different floor. Maura was moving to an entire different state to avoid her.<p>

"No," Maura cleared her throat. "I'm declining them, personally."

"Why?" Jane wondered, aloud.

"Because they went through great lengths to prove that they wanted and needed me." Maura paused for a moment. "It's only polite to tell them, personally, that I have no interest in leaving Boston."

"Is it because things with Patricia are getting serious?" She wasn't sure if she wanted to know the answer to that.

"No," Maura took a deep breath. "It's because this is my_ home_. The only home I've ever known. I have friends here, I have a job that needs me. I have a surrogate mother...your mother. She needs my guest house."

"What about Patricia?" Jane was the only one that didn't notice between Patricia and herself. Both tall. Both slim. Both athletic. Both brunettes. Both stubborn.

"Patricia and I," Maura thought for a moment. "Have something that I could easily find with someone else. She's fun, she's sweet, she's an excellent lover. But, I can get that from another woman. I could get that from a man without the rude comments from strangers." Jane had winced when Maura told her that Patricia was an excellent lover.

"Can I tell you something?" Jane voiced, quietly. Maura simply nodded without looking at her. "I know that tomorrow you'll go back to hating me. I know that you'll go back to your life and all will be great. But, before I lose you again. Before you forget about me, again. I just want you to know that I never meant to hurt you. Everything I did was because I love you. I did it all because I truly thought I was protecting you. I look back and I can see my flaws, but it's all over now. I can't change the past."

"I know," Maura whispered. "I understand physics."

"Can you just do one thing for me?" Maura simply nodded, again. "Forgive me." This made Maura look at Jane. The expression on Jane's face reflected how much it hurt her. She truly thought that Maura hated her.

* * *

><p>Jane's POV.<p>

Maura stared at me. I couldn't tell what was going through her mind. I wanted to ask her if I'd offended her. If I'd said the wrong thing. Our eyes never left each other.

"Maur," I tried. She didn't say anything. "Maura."

"Hmm?" She hummed, still not looking away. I smiled, slightly. "I'm sorry."

"What were you thinking about?" I knew she'd tell me the truth. She couldn't lie to me. She couldn't lie to anyone.

"I..." Maura stood. "I was thinking about how much I missed you. Your sense of humor. The way you didn't care what others thought of you. How protective you are of your loved ones. The way you protected me. I missed all your comments about how different I am but somehow you didn't make me feel different at all because you do the same to everyone else."

* * *

><p>Maura's POV.<p>

Here it is. I tell her now. I tell her and ruin three months of an established relationship. I tell her and I ruin one month of keeping my distance. I tell her and I ruin three years of keeping one secret to myself.

"I love you, Jane." I said without looking at her. The tears were forming in my eyes, almost about to fall. I couldn't tell her, but I couldn't lie to her anymore. "But, you left me."

* * *

><p>Jane was up from her bed now, trying to sooth the crying of the love of her life. Maura tried to shoo the woman away from her.<p>

"Stop distancing yourself," Jane begged. "Just let me back into your heart."

"Let you back in?" The tears stopped, but just for a moment. Now she had a mixture of anger and pain in her. "You never left! You...do you realize how I even feel about you? Surely you can't be that oblivious, Jane? Even I know you have feelings for me. I know you're not that-" Before Maura could finish her rant, lips were crashed against her own. It took her a moment to realize what was happening but once she figured things out, Maura responded in a way she knew she shouldn't have. She opened her lips, slightly, inviting Jane in.

Jane didn't even have to fight for dominance, it was already given to her. Anything she wanted, Maura would happily give to her. Jane's fingers were at Maura's waist, now. Both women let all of their emotions out into one kiss. Maura's fingers were tangled in Jane's hair, trying to pull her as close as humanly and inhumanly possible. When air became an important demand, both women pulled away. They said nothing to each other as they panted heavily. Maura's breathing became easier first, so she took a deep breath finally before turning to leave.

"Please," Jane breathed. "Stay."

"I'm in a relationship." She was all she got out before Jane's lips were on hers again. Maura tried to pull away but Jane only held her closer, wrapping both arms around Maura's waist. Maura eventually gave up protesting. A small moan escaped her lips as Jane moved to kissing her neck. A grin appeared on the lips of Jane as she worked to unbutton Maura's shirt. When Maura didn't say anything further, Jane knew what they would end up doing for the rest of the night. The brunette's fingers fumbled on the bottons, the alcohol in her system was slowly wearing off.

Maura licked her lips, growing impatient with the slow pace Jane was taking. She helped the detective with the rest of her shirt before she pulled the shirt off her shoulders, letting it fall to the floor. Maura's hands were immediately at the hem of Jane's shirt, demanding the same be done to her. When Jane obliged by raising her arms, the blonde pulled the shirt over Jane's head. The navy blue shirt was thrown somewhere into the dark.

"I've wanted this for so long," Jane whispered against Maura's neck. Her tongue trailed small circles on the soft skin. Maura let out another soft moan. Jane pulled her tongue back in just to moisten it then began drawing new patterns. "I never meant to hurt you." She pulled back to face Maura.

New waves of tears formed in green eyes. "But you did," Maura tried to keep her sobs to a minimum. She pulled away from Jane and went over to the bed.

"It's not like I intentionally left to be away from you." Jane followed her. She sat next to Maura. "Look at me." Her words were demandant, but her tone was calm. "I'd never hurt you, intentionlly. You have to know that."

"That doesn't take the pain away," Maura mumbled. "I know I'm going to lose you to this job. I just know it."

"What tells you that?" Jane was irrated now. "Statistics? Science? How could you possibly know that?"

"Statistics only tells me there's a high chance of losing you to this job. Science tells me why I'd lose you to this job." Maura looked at Jane. "I know I will because you aren't like other cops. I want to say you're incredibly stupid. But that's not it. You're brave. That's what makes you different. Other cops are willing to put their lives on the line. You do it every time you step up to bat. Even when you get hurt, you don't regret a single decision."

"Is there something wrong with that?" Jane's voice was careful. She knew that if she'd said the wrong thing, she just might hurt the honey-blonde.

"Yes!" Maura stood. "I can't lose you, Jane."

"You want me to quit." It was a statement.

"I just want yout to stop putting your life on the line." Maura sat back down. "I just want you to stop and think about what you're leaving behind everytime you put yourself in more danger."

"I know," Jane was quiet. "I don't want you to hurt anymore." Her eyes trailed the lace bra that hid what Jane so desperately wanted to take into her mouth. Maura must've caught her staring, because she shifted so that her breasts were facing slightly closer to Jane.

"Just..." Maura took a deep breath. Jane almost moaned when the blonde's chest heaved. "Don't use me." Jane searched Maura's eyes. There was something in them that she herself couldn't identify. Fear? Pain? Arousal? All of the above and more.

"I wouldn't," Jane whispered. "I love you." She forced out. The words had got caught in her throat but she was determined to tell Maura how she felt. Before Maura could say something else, Jane's lips were on hers again. This time the kiss was slower, sensual. It was everything Jane had to offer at the moment. Maura parted her lips, allowing Jane access to explore her. Jane guided Maura's back down onto the bed.

The position became a bit uncomfortable for Maura so she pushed Jane away, just for a moment. She collected herself and scooted onto the bed more. Jane's lips were on hers once more, both of them ravishing each other. This kiss was more animalistc. They needed each other. Even if Jane wouldn't remember this in the morning, this is what Maura needed. This is what Maura wanted. When fingers were on Maura's skirt, she only lifted her hips slightly so it could be pulled down easily. Jane took the unspoken hint and threw the skirt and her panties somewhere into the darkness of the room. She was glad that she'd taken her pants on for bed, and was only left in her boyshorts. Somehow Maura had managed to remove her bra and Jane's without moving much. The blonde's breast were pressed against hers.

Maura moaned with her right nipple was captured by Jane's mouth. Jane took the nipple between her teeth as she rolled it carefully. Maura could only manage slipping one hand between them to the heat between her legs. Her palm grazed her clit slightly and she bucked her hips involuntarily. Jane pulled the hand away, she was ready for this to be over just yet. She kissed down the blonde's body to the heat that succumbed her so deeply.

"Mmm," Maura let out when Jane's hot breath challenged her clit. She took in a deep breath when she felt lips against her own. A tongue slid inside of her entrance, and again, her hips were bucked. Her clit ached for attention, and somehow Jane knew that because her touched it softly with her thumb from a hand. Now her nipples were aching, Maura's own hands were reaching for her nipples. She twirled them and pulled at them. The room had been so quiet before, now it was filled with Maura's moans and grunts and Jane's growling and suckling noises. The noises of her mouth against Maura's sex.

"So tasteful," Jane whispered when she pulled her mouth away. Her hand and her mouth switched places. Two fingers slid inside of Maura just as Jane's tongue attached itself to the blonde's clit. Maura hadn't realized she'd been the one screaming until she closed her mouth to breathe deeply through her nose. When it wasn't working the way she'd planned, Maura's lips parted again and incomplete sentences poured from her mouth.

Jane smiled as she heard her name variously. She could tell when she found that magical spot of Maura's because the blonde yelped and bucked her hips into Jane. Jane curled her fingers against the spot and pressed against it rhythmatically, making an unspoken hym with Maura. Each press against the spot released a moan and a calling from Maura.

"She'll never fuck like I can," Jane said against Maura's clit.

"Jane," She breathed, unable to see and think straight. "Jane, please." She begged. She needed this release. Jane obliged by moving her tongue faster against Maura's clit and moving her fingers faster. With the new rhythm, Maura couldn't possibly refuse the orgasm that waved over her. At first, it was slow, building up the momemtum then it crashed hard. Jane could feel clenched walls around her fingers and a tense body.

"Jaaaane," Maura released from her throat as she came intensely. She took a few moments to collect herself. Breathing heavier than she thought imagineable. Her body aching to be held but she just couldn't look at Jane yet. When the fingers withdrew from her, she groaned. She felt incomplete now.

"I love you," Jane whispered against Maura's skin as she kissed up the slim body. She took Maura into her arms.

Maura didn't say anything for a few minutes. "I should go," She finally said. She felt Jane's body tense next to her. "Early morning." She breathed. Jane only nodded, convinced her voice would decieve her if she spoke. She wished that Maura could stay the night. That Maura would dump Patricia and be hers. Was it Maura that used her?

* * *

><p>Jane's POV<p>

I awoke from the birds chirping loudly outside my window. Some would've called it a peaceful awakening by nature, I called it annoying and unneccasary. Of course, this foul mood may have had something to do with fucking Maura senseless last night just to have her abandon me. I made a face and got out of bed. I woke up ten minutes later than I should have. This didn't make me late, actually. It just meant I only had time to make a simple breakfast. Not that I would eat breakfast, anyway. I was in the bathroom now, getting my shower started. I could feel how wet I was from last night. I was sure I'd dreamt of Maura and I. Except, in my dream, Maura actually meant what she said when she told me she loved me. How could you love someone and be with someone else? How could you love someone and have them make love to you just to leave you? Maybe she was right about knowing how I felt about her and that's how she wanted to tell me. Maura couldn't lie, though. I froze when the words from last night explored my mind.

_Let you back in? You never left! You...do you realize how I even feel about you? Surely you can't be that oblivious, Jane? Even I know you have feelings for me. _

She never said she was in love with me. She only said she had feelings for me. It's Patricia she's in love with, isn't it? I sighed as I stepped into the shower. I didn't know what to do, and I probably couldn't do it even if I had everything figured out. I shoud stay away from her. But, I can't even do that, I'd miss her too much. I should fight for her, but I can't do that. Patricia owns her heart. I should just let the chips fall as they may. But, I'm too impatient for even that. Releasing another sigh, I just gave up on trying to figure out what to do. I needed to figure out what to do with my career now that I was done with homicide.

I walked into the bullpen with coffee for everyone but myself. It was my goodbye gesture, and I could tell that they sensed it. Barry was the first person up, accepting the coffee from me.

"I got them just how you guys like them." I announced. "Sugar no cream for you, Frost." I knew he knew which one was his because it was labeled with his name. "And all cream for you, Korsak." I smiled.

"Thanks," They both said. I only nodded and sat down at my desk. I knew I had to go talk to Cavanaugh before I did anything today. I sighed, heavily.

"I hear Frankie passed his exam." I tried to make small talk. Barry only nodded.

"Yeah," Vince said as he fiddled with his cup.

"He'll probably be getting my desk, then." I thought about cleaning the desk up for him, but whatever was here would probably be transferred to Frost. "Are you getting a new partner?" I asked Barry.

"Most likely," Barry looked to Vince. "But, someone has got to watch out for Frankie." He looked to me. "I'm kind of torn."

"I don't want a new partner," Vince announced. "You should take Rizzoli." I knew he wasn't talking about me.

"Okay," Barry looked back to his computer monitor. I only sighed and started towards Cavanaugh's office. I knocked, softly.

"Come in," Came a voice that I barely feared unless I was in trouble. I felt my heart pounding in my chest. "Detective Rizzoli."

"Lt. Cavanaugh." I took a seat across from his desk. "I would like to transfer." I finally said. This didn't take him by surprise, he almost seemed relieved.

"You really don't want to do therapy, do you?" He said with a sad smile. I shook my head.

"It's not that," I let my hands fall to my lap. "I love being in homicide, I know I won't be happy anywhere else. I just think that maybe I would be better somewhere else. I think my time here is up."

"Are you sure?" It seemed like a forced question rather a question of reassurance. "I mean, I could put you on paperwork."

"No!" I almost screamed. "I hate paperwork, Lt. I just want...I think I'll be better if I go to missing persons."

"Hmm," He thought for a moment. "I figured you would've gone to drugs." He winced and so did I because we both remembered how dirty Marino was.

"I want to be transferred into missing persons," I said. "I'll do whatever training is neccesary."

"None is neccesary." Cavanaugh said as he grabbed a paper from a file on his desk. "None for you, anyway." He was almost visibly eager to write out the transfer.

"Thanks." I said before standing. "How long will it take?"

"About a week." He didn't look up from the paper. "You can spend the week breaking in Frankie." He laughed. I only forced a smile and nodded before I left. Frankie had been at my desk, waiting for me.

"Did you do it?" He asked, taking the seat at my desk. I made a face but I didn't say anything. Somehow he knew this was going to be his desk soon, anyway.

"Yeah," I bit my lip as I sat on the edge of the desk. "I, uh, I transferred to missing persons."

"Really?" He seemed surprised. "Don't get me wrong, I think you'll do great there. Hell I think you'll do great with any unit they assign you to. But, I really thought you'd go to drugs. Work undercover or something."

"Almost went to cold cases." I toyed with my pants. "Almost." I hadn't realized how long Maura had been standing there, but when I heard her voice, it took everything in me to not turn around.

"Vince, I have the autopsy report for you." Maura said.

"So, was she poisoned?" He asked.

"The results say..." I could hear papers being flipped. "No."

"Shoot." He sighed. "Thanks, Doc."

"Any time." She started to walk away when I suppose noticed me. "Hello, Frankie. What are you doing up here?" He was still in his uniform.

"Just getting ready for taking over this desk." Frankie was oblivious to my reaction. I grimaced.

"From Rizzoli to Rizzoli." Barry joked. They all shared a small laugh, except for Maura and I.

"Which reminds me," I turned to him, with my back still to Maura. "I'll be breaking you in."

"Really?" Frankie's face lit up. It brought a smile to my lips. I loved to see him happy, even if it meant I was giving up the only thing that made me feel like me.

"Well, out in the field, you should be with Korsak or Frost." I chewed on the inside of my lip for a moment. "Cause...I'm not cleared for field duty in homicide anymore." I could hear Maura talking, but whatever she was saying, it was in a whisper. I turned my head slightly, to see her bending over Barry's desk from the corner of my eyes. I turned my head again to get her out of my line of vision.

"It was nice seeing you," She said to Barry. I heard her footsteps but they were getting closer instead of retreading. "May I have a word with you?"

I wanted to say something sarcastic but instead I just nodded. "Sure," I said as I slid off the desk. I followed her down to the cafe in the precinct. "What's this about?" When we sat at our usual table.

Maura gave me a disapproving look for my impatience. "Last night shouldn't have happened." She said as she shifted in her seat.

"Yeah," Was all I could say.

"I don't want this to interfere with our work." Maura had been staring at her hands. I rubbed my own because the scars began to ache.

"We won't be working together again." I told her. "I have a week left."

"Yes," Maura looked up. "I heard that."

"Yeah," I cleared my throat, impatiently. "So unless someone gets kidnapped and then you know end up dead, I'll probably see you. But even then, it won't be my case anymore. I suppose I'll still be working with it. But, all of the homicide aspects will go to the homicide unit and passed on to me."

"Wouldn't you want to know firsthand what happened to the victim?" She asked, seemingly upset. I shrugged it off.

"Of course," I rubbed the back of my head. "I'll get the notes you send up." I shook my head, sure that I would never have to go back to the morgue ever again. "So, don't worry. I'm not upset about last night." That was a complete lie. "If we do end up working together again, I won't let it plague our work." I forced a smile, although I knew it was probably obvious it was fake.

Maura was about to say something, she even opened her mouth to say it but she was cut short by my mother. "Janie," My mom breathed. "I just heard you're transferring to another unit."

"Yeah, Ma." I wanted to have this dicussion without Maura staring at me.

"Maura, honey." My mother turned to her. "Patricia is waiting for you downstairs. Poor girl is too frightened to go in the morgue just yet."

"Oh," Maura's face fell. "Okay" She slid from the barstool and left without another word.

"When were you going to tell me you switched units?" My mother took Maura's seat. "I mean and to kidnappings?"

"Missing persons," I corrected. "I didn't think there was much to tell, honestly. I'm sorry you had to find out from someone else."

"It's fine." My mom smiled, glad that I wouldn't be involved in homicide anymore. She only hoped this example would go noticed by Frankie and he would transfer as well. But, I knew he wouldn't. He had a mind of his own. He enjoyed being a cop, and he would enjoy being a detective even more.

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><p>This is where the chapters start to slow down.<p> 


	5. Truth

This chapter is going to hopefully be long enough so that I won't have to update until possibly later today or tomorrow.

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><p>Maura's POV<p>

"Patricia," I said as I exited the elevator. She turned around with a look or horror on her face. "What's wrong?"

"That body on that table." Was all she said.

"I'm sorry you had to see that." I truly was sorry. Not everyone had the stomach to see a dead body. It took me a while to get used to it myself, but I always kept an open mind. Also, it didn't help to remind myself I got along with the dead more than the living, anyway.

"She looks like she was only six." I could tell Patricia saw her daughter Kyla on that table instead of the complete stranger. "If...if that had been Kyla...I don't know what I would do."

"I can assure you that isn't Kyla." I looked up to her. "I'd never give her an autopsy, anyway." It was an invasion of her personal space. Also, it'd be a conflict of interest.

"Thanks." Patricia mumbled. "I was wondering if you'd like to go to lunch?"

"It's not my lunch hour, yet." I didn't have to look at my watch. I just knew I wasn't ready to take a lunch. "Give me until noon?"

"Perfect." Patricia grinned. "I have a bunch of errands." She kissed my cheek because I'd turned my head away when I knew she was going to try to kiss my lips. "See you." She was gone. I sighed and went into my office. I needed some time alone. I couldn't even get started on the autopsy that was pending on my table. I could only see Kyla now. Poor, oblivious, smart, sweet, wonderful Kyla.

As I started the first incision on the young girl, I couldn't help but think of what I'd done to Patricia. I betrayed her. Although, I hadn't actually had much of a belief in monogomous relationships, I would've given it a try for her. She made me happy. Of course, no as happy as Jane made me but she did take away some of the pain. I could see myself falling in love with Patricia. I already adored Kyla as though she was a younger sibling. If I were to marry Patricia, I probably wouldn't be able to think of her that way anymore, but become more of a parental figure in her life. Was I ready for that?

My breathing shallowed and my throat closed. Was I having a panic attack? Oh God. I backed away from the cold body as quickly as possible, careful not to harm anything on the way.

"God," I breathed, trying to get my breaths aligned. Nothing changed. "Careful. Careful. Careful." I tried to tell myself but something in me couldn't stop thinking about Patricia and I getting married.

"Doc!" I heard from behind me. I wish I'd been more worried to see who it was but instead I felt faint and I started to become dizzy. I felt the world swaying around me before I finally collaspsed. Hearing a thud before my eyes for forcefully closed.

There were several things that told me that I was in the hospital, but I wouldn't know until I actually opened my eyes. Which, I tried to do three times. The first time I tried, I was succumbed back into a deep sleep almost instantly. The second time I tried to, the restraint on my eyes had been too much. The third time, I had to focus on something far away. Everything close to me made me feel dizzy all over again.

"You're awake!" I could hear Patricia's dominican accent. I loved that about her. It was something that didn't resemble Jane. "God, we've been so worried." When there was a cleared throat, I could tell that we hadn't been the only people in the room. I trailed the room carefully. I didn't settle too long on one person because it wasn't the faces I wanted to see. It was the tall brunette. When the coast was clear, I almost smiled. Almost.

"What happened?" I asked, trying to find my voice. I could tell I hadn't spoken in almost hours.

"You fainted." Angela said from across the room. I looked in her direction, immediately remembering where she had been standing.

"Vasovagal syncope," I whispered. "In this case it was most likely a neurocardiogenic syncope, considering I don't have an actual heart condition." I knew I'd lost half of the people in room, probably all of them excluding myself. I frowned when they all just looked at me. "It means that it was triggered by my thoughts." I said with a slight smile.

"Ah," I heard Vince breathe. "So...you're going to be alright?"

"I should be just fine." I adjusted myself against the bed. "Where's the doctor?"

"He came in here like once and he hasn't come back." Patricia stroked my hair from my side. I shook my head. There was something I truly despised about emergency room doctors. I knew they had a busy schedule and other patients, but to spend little time with all of them gave them too much time to themselves.

When Patricia had left to alert the doctor that I was awake, I only looked at Angela, directly. "She's not...she's not here is she?"

"No." Angela simply shook her head to the right then left. "She told us to call to see if you were okay. She said you would need your space."

"Yeah," Vince gathered in. "Why would you need your space?" I could see him huffing his chest, he was ready to defend his ex-partner. Barry stood behind Vince, ready to back him up also. This would not turn into an argument. Simply because there wasn't anything to discuss and it was none of their business.

"Jane and I are no longer friends," I admitted. "As you all could have surmised."

"Well duh." Angela replaced Patricia's seat. "I mean, even a blind man could see that." I started to say something but was immediately silenced by Angela. "You two should work this out. She works better when she works with you."

"I suppose that is true." I cleared my throat. "I do contribute more logic to her theories." I heard a chuckle from the direction of the door. This made me smile.

"Hey!" The doctor said as he entered the room. "Look who's up."

"Me?" I guessed. Some of them could have stolen away some sleep.

"Yeah," He checked my vitals. He was at least being thorough. Probably careful not to get sued, but I wouldn't assume such. Just theorize. "So, you're ready to go home, whenever. Take it easy for the next few days. Have a follow-up with your doctor by the end of next week." I only nodded. Angela had already started packing my things. Barry was holding out the dress I'd been wearing. I smiled as I accepted it. Vince was at my side, trying to help me escape the bed but I told him I didn't need any help. In the bathroom, it'd actually been a little painful to move. I felt sore. I must have taken quite the fall in the morgue. The floor was pretty hard. I could always tell when someone was coming my way.

Patricia had joined me for dinner, happily preparing the meal and cleaning it up. I assured her I didn't need assistance but she insisted. I finally gave up because it was like arguing with Angela. Patricia was motherly, but I suppose that was because she was a mother.

"Maura?" Patricia had been leaning down in front of me. My eyes snapped to her face.

"Hmm?" I smiled absentmindedly. She had a chest just like Jane. "Sorry, were you saying something?"

"I asked if there was anything else you needed." She said, patiently. How could I have cheated on her? Why had I not felt too bad about this? I wasn't upset that I did it, I was upset that I would have to tell her and break her heart. I wasn't afraid of losing her.

"No." I stood up, slowly. "I'm good for the night. Actually, I think I'm going to take a shower and go to bed."

"Want me to join you?" I could feel her right behind me. Her hands were around my hips as she held me closer to her. I felt her breath on my neck and all I could see were flashbacks of last night with Jane.

"Not tonight," I had to be careful with my reasoning. I didn't want to lie to her, otherwise I'd probably be spending the rest of the night in the hospital. "I am very tired."

"That's okay." Patricia smiled against my neck. "I didn't say we had to make love." I winced at her choice of words. "I was only suggesting we shower together and spend the rest of tonight holding each other."

"Not tonight." I repeated, more firmly this time. "I really am just too tired." I pulled away from her. When her arms fell to her sides, I felt my heart breaking. I was going to break her heart.

"You've been distant." She stated through her teeth. "You barely touch me. You barely have time for me."

"I am the Chief Medical Examiner, Patricia." I wanted to take a closer step to her to hold her but I knew that would only confuse my own feelings. "Of course I'm going to be busy."

"Is it because of _her_?" She spat.

"Who?" I looked around, only hoping whomever she'd been talking about would be in the room. "Jane?" I finally guessed when Patricia hadn't said anything.

"Yes!" She exclaimed. "Ever since her return, you've kind of forgotten about me. Do you even still want to be with me?"

Dang it. A direct question. "I..." I started to lie but I felt my breathing deepen. I shook my head. "No." I swallowed. Patricia nodded just before turning on her heel. She grabed her bag at the door and closed it behind her. I sighed, my breathing was better. I turned to go take yet another lonely shower. Maybe I should have let her join me. Though, it wasn't her company I was desiring.

* * *

><p>Jane paced the bullpen as she waited for Maura to enter from the elevators.<p>

"You're going to walk a hole in the rug, Janie." Vince said through his laugh. Jane only turned to glare at him, momentarily. "Okay, shutting up now." He held his hands up in surrender. Jane turned to continue pacing, only knowing that it wouldn't make anything any better.

"Did she say anything?" Jane asked as she turned to Barry. "About coming in? Did she say anything about coming in?"

Barry shook his head. "Can't say I've spoken to her since she signed out of the hospital." He leaned back in his seat. "I can call her."

"No!" Jane raised her hands, as if she'd been trying to stop someone from shooting her. "Please don't."

"Okay, okay." Barry hid his smile. "Dr. Pike is in."

"Mr. OCD?" Vince asked from his desk. "Oh God." Vince held back a laugh because he knew he shouldn't have been talking of Mr. Pike that way. Jane was oblivious to Vince's internal battle. She only paced even more.

"Wow, what's got you with hot pants?" Barry asked as he entered the bullpen. Jane hadn't realized that she'd actually stopped focusing on the elevators. Maura trailed behind him.

"Uh," Jane turned, only to see Maura going immediately to Vince. She didn't want to appear that she'd been worried sick about Maura. "Can't sit down. Back hurts."

"That's probably due to your posture," Maura said, involuntarily. She had a thing for helping Jane figure out why she was in pain. "But if it's so bad you can't sit, maybe you should see a chiropractor. I'm sure the police department can find you a great one."

"Thanks." Jane said without looking at Maura. "I'll be sure to look into that." Even Maura knew it was an immediate lie. "So...I get to see my new desk in missing persons today.' She announced to her old partners. She'd been rubbing her scarred palms.

"Have you been assigned a partner?" Vince asked, already jealous even though he hadn't recieved his answer. He hid it well.

"Not yet." Jane sighed. "I was hoping I wouldn't be. I want to work alone for a while."

"Why's that?" Maura asked, internally abusing herself for getting involved in the discussion again.

"Just don't think I'm ready." Jane sighed. "I guess I work better solo."

"Humans often need companions. Rather it's as partners or just friends." Maura informed. "That's why we have social families. People we're supposed to be able to go to. Of course, modern families often make you want to find comfort elsewhere, now."

"Thanks." Jane said. "I heard you uh fainted. Are you okay now?" She just wanted to get to the point so she could get away from Maura and her useless facts.

"I'm fine, Jane." Maura smiled. She'd been sitting on the edge of Vince's desk. Jane turned on her heel to leave and go find her mother, but she noticed Frankie entering with a suit on.

"Well, shit goddamn." Jane stopped in her tracks. "Frankie, you look great." She smiled at her little brother who seemed eager to get compliments. "Doesn't he look great?" Jane gave them all a look, forcing them to say yes rather or not they thought so.

Maura gave Jane a look. "Lang-" She stopped herself. She knew she had no right to tell Jane how to speak around her, anymore. "He looks fantastic."

"He already looks like a natural." Vince laughed.

"Where'd you get the suit, man?" Barry crossed his arms behind his head. "Frank Sr?"

"Ha. Ha. Ha." Frankie mocked. He sighed and turned to Jane. "Does it really look good? I can go out and buy a new one."

"Save that for the first day." Jane smiled. "We can go to the Men's Warehouse." Immediately the pitch for the store came into her mind. You're going to like the way you look, I garrantee it. Jane sighed and turned for the door once again. "I have to go upstairs, though."

"Alright." Was she heard before turning aound.

Maura entered the cafe and almost immediately regretted the decision when Angela ambushed her with questions.

"How are you?" Angela fired off. "Are you feeling better? Are you feeling faint? Should I call another doctor? Should I call your doctor? Should I call Jane? Patricia? Hmm...maybe we should make the appointment for that follow-up. What do you think? Have you done that yet?" Maura only shook her head to all of the questions as they came.

"I'm fine, Angela. Thank you." She smiled. "I just would like some tea, please." She didn't care which type of tea, she just needed something that wasn't coffee.

"Why aren't you in the morgue?" Angela asked. She'd heard another body was found.

"Dr. Pike is doing my work for me, today." Maura sighed. "I'm still feeling a bit dizzy."

"Okay." Angela turned to retrieve the coffee. Maura wondered why the older woman didn't fire off with more questions. She turned around to see if the problem had been behind her. And it had. Patricia stood there at the threshold of the cafe doors.

"Hi." The brunette smiled. "Can we talk?"

"Sure." Maura couldn't help but wonder why the other woman wasn't at work. _She has a job, doesn't she? Why can't I remember that? Has Jane really cleared up my memory of anything before her faked death?_ Maura thought to herself. She joined Patricia at a table that was furthest from Angela.

"I don't want to break up." Patricia stated. Maura looked confused, so she continued. "I want to work out whatever went wrong."

"Here's your tea," Angela said as she approached. She was careful not to show that she'd been eavesdropping.

"Thank you." Maura smiled and waited for Angela to leave. Only she didn't. She pretended to clean a few tables before realizing Maura was watching her. She finally sighed and walked back to her work spaece. "I'm not sure I understand you."

"I'm telling you that I think I'm falling in love with you." Patricia said, impatiently. "Maura, I don't want this to be over just yet. I think you can fall for me again. If you just forget about about _Jane_, then I think we'll have an honest chance."

"You want me to forget about Jane?" Maura asked before she sipped her tea. It was still hot so she pulled it away quickly. "Jane and I are no longer friends, Patricia."

"But, I know it's her that's stopping you from loving me." She grabbed Maura's hands and wrapped them with her own. "I guess...I just want to be sure that could love me. That tou could love me more than her."

Maura sighed. How would she tell her that she slept with Jane? How could she? Guilt crossed her heart, causing her stomach to become uneasy. "You'll hate me," She tried to swallow but she felt her breakfast building.

"For loving me?" Patricia smiled. "I think that'll make me the happiest woman alive."

"No." Maura pulled her hands away. "You're going to hate me."

"Why am I going to hate you?" Patricia retracted her own hands and dropped them in her lap. "What happened?"

"What do you think?" Maura snapped, tears forming in her eyes. She glanced around the cafe to see if anyone had been listening. When everyone else seemed preoccupied, Maura decided to continue. "That night Jane announced she was going to transfer divisions."

"What happened?" Patricia repeated through her teeth as she leaned in.

"We had a long talk. Because I had to take her home." Maura cleared her throat but the lump was still there. "We...She...I...I cheated, Patricia." There was a long silence between the two. So long that Maura was sure that she could've done an autopsy in this time. _Look at me, only Jane would get me to make an exaggeration such as that._ Maura thought to herself. Patricia just stared at Maura, but she didn't say anything.

"When?" Patricia finally asked.

"Two nights ago." Maura admitted, quietly. "I am so sorry, Patricia. Honestly, I am."

"When were you going to tell me?" She demanded, her hands slamming down against the table. "Would you have told me?"

"I just told you, Patricia." Maura was calm. She wouldn't let this get out of control. She wouldn't let Patricia make a scene at her work. "This qualifies as telling you."

"So, when I was making dinner for you last night. When I was taking care of you, unlike Jane had been. When I was fucking there for you doing what she wouldn't, you decided it would best upon you to not tell me?" Patricia was her feet now. "And you know what pisses me off? You know what really fucking hurts? That I am _still_ falling in love with you. That I'm _still _willing to do anything for you."

Maura stood and put both hands on each sides of Patricia's face. "Look at me," She demanded. The brunette opened her eyes, slowly. "You're too good for me. You deserve someone who feels the same."

"I don't want _someone_, Maura." Patricia breathed, heavily. "I want _you_."

A knot formed in Maura's chest. "Then you _have_ me. I am not _hers_. I am_ yours_."

Patricia swallowed hard. "I need some time." She took a step back from Maura. "Can you just stay away from her? Please?"

"I will stay away from her." Maura promised. She never broke her promises. She couldn't hurt Patricia any longer. Surely she cared more for her than Jane had, right? Jane wasn't anywhere in sight when Maura had awoken in the hospital. Patricia was by her side. She was not going to disobey this woman's wishes. Not now. Not ever again.

"Goodbye, Maura." Patricia kissed the blonde's cheek. Maura forced a smile and watched the brunette leave her.

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><p>Review, review, review! What do you guys should happen next? What do you want to happen next? What do you guys think will happen next? Of course I already have my ideas, there's always room for improvement. So, let me know what you guys think so far. I know this chapter was a bit boring, but I promise it'll get better. Gotta go through it all, guys. Thank you for reading and reviewing so far.<p> 


	6. News

So, I should tell you all that I've been rereading this and I've noticed tons of grammar and spelling mistakes. Those will be fixed soon. French is my first language. So I apologize for anymore mistakes. I promise to get them sorted out and fixed as soon as possible.

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><p>Jane's POV<p>

I sat at my new claimed desk, hoping for something to feel. I felt nothing. Absolutely nothing. I searched through the drawers and found nothing but an old writing pad.

"Jane Rizzoli," I heard from the other side of the desk. I looked up to see someone sitting where Barry would have been. "I'm Cecilia De La Cruz."

I had no idea who she was, and I think she sensed that because she introduced herself. "Nice to meet you, De La Cruz."

"Just call me Cece." She flashed a smile. "I've heard all about you. From the big drug bust to joining homicide, to killing Charles Hoyt. You've done big things." Cece smiled.

"Just did my job." I sighed. "I've heard of you as well. You found all of those kids that were kidnapped by the Harrisons."

"I did," Cece looked at her monitor for a moment. "It was all in a day's work." She laughed. "So, I'm partner-less. I was wondering if you could be my partner. I could show you the ropes."

"I thought about just going solo for a while." I admitted. "I'm not sure if I'm ready to work with anyone yet."

"Whenever you're ready for a partner, I'm here." Cece smiled. I couldn't help but smile back at her. She looked similar to Maura but not too similar. She had honey blonde hair but her eyes were blue. She had perfect teeth that I definitely thought she should be flaunting. She was thin and short, but not too short. I wondered if she was a screamer like Maura. Was Maura and actual screamer or was that my doing? I couldn't help but think that there was something special about my making love to Maura instead of Patricia violating her.

"So what do you say?" Cece asked. I closed my mouth and looked at her. Had I been drooling? Good God, I was in too deep. "Jane?"

"Yeah?" I turned to her and wiped the drool off my chin. "Sorry."

"I asked if you wanted to grab a drink with us after work." Cece grinned, flashing her perfect teeth yet again. Again, I couldn't resist smiling along with her.

"Sure," I looked around the simple bullpen. It'd been the same as homicide but different in so many ways. I sighed. "Yeah, I'll go. Dirty Robber, right?" I wasn't sure if they'd done things differently up here.

"Dirty Robber." She clarified with a grin. "I have to go follow up on some leads, but I'll see you around."

"Definitely." I bit my lip as I watched her leave. Her ass wasn't too bad, either. She seemed nice. She was definitely sexy. "I'll see you." I called out before she entered the elevators. I turned back in my chair and smiled to myself. If I was ever going to let her become my partner, I couldn't sleep with her. I just couldn't resist, she was so sexy. I took a deep breath. I had other options for partners, right? What if Cece was the one? What if I was meant to be with her? I should stop thinking of a complete stranger that way, anyway. There was no way she was interested in me that way, anyway. I took another deep breath, ignoring the stabbing pain from the wound in my stomach. Sometimes, it still hurt. Only sometimes.

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><p>Three Weeks Later.<p>

I could feel my heart pounding in my chest as my feet padded the concrete. I ran as fast as I could. In my mind; I was running from and to Charles Hoyt. In reality, I was only working out. I slowed down when I saw the stairs declaring I'd been close to the precinct again.

"Jane!" I heard behind me. "Jane Rizzoli!" It was various voices now. I knew who they were. They were the same people who'd been trying to talk to me since I'd killed Hoyt. I avoided them easily before, but now I hadn't been assigned to much other than paperwork.

"Will you bugs just fuck off?" I heard from behind me. It was Cece. She'd become almost like a bigger sister to me. Of course, I'd never had an older sister and if I had, I was sure I wouldn't think of her as sexy. Cece watched out for me. I loved it. It turned me even more. "Just go away!" She yelled to them. The look on her face told them they should just back off. For now.

"Thanks." I told her as I stretched, using the stairs as my tools. "They'll probably just get me while I'm at home."

"Maybe I should protect you there, then." She smirked then winked.

I stared at her in disbelief before closing my mouth. "I think you should."

"How about tonight?" She asked as we walked into the precinct.

"Seriously?" I looked at her, still in disbelief. Since when was she interested in me? I had my suspicions about her sexuality, but I never voiced them and she never confirmed them until now.

"Sure," Cece directed me to the cafe. "Why not." She only shrugged, as if it were nothing. I smiled down at her, still not convinced she wanted to be with me. Get it together, Rizzoli. She's just a woman. You're just a woman. If she claims she wants to date you, or even just use you for the night, then she made the right choice. She probably thinks you're confident. Just like everyone else. I thought to myself, trying not accidentally say anything aloud.

"What can I get for you, ladies?" My mom asked when Cece and I approached her.

"I'll take a pizza slice, ma" I told her. It'd been awkward when Ma had first met Cece. Something about Cece and I told her that we were dating. When I assured her that we weren't, she finally accepted it.

_Ma and I had been sitting at a table. She was supposed to be working, but of course she really hadn't been. Busy was slow. Everyone was out in the field. I couldn't blame them, the Holidays were approaching. Crime started to go up. _

_ "Maura tells me I won't be seeing much of you two together, anymore." Ma said before taking a bite of my sandwich. I was going to tell her to make her own, but then I just let it go. It wasn't worth the argument. Pretty much nothing was worth the argument with Ma. _

_ "Yeah," I took the sandwich from her. "Haven't seen her much, lately." I'd gone down to the morgue to talk to her about a case Cece had been working on. Three missing girls, each found dead. Instead of talking to me, she simply excused herself and had an intern come consult me. After the fourth time, I simply gave up on trying to talk to her and told Cece she'd just have to read the reports herself. or just go talk to Maura. _

_ "I'm sorry, Janie." Ma took the sandwich from my hands. I sighed and slid the plate over to her for when she was done with it. She'd probably just eat the sandwich. "You know, I miss you two being together. I think she's starting to resent me a little. At the house, she barely talks to me when I'm in there." _

_ "Maybe she's busy, Ma." I rolled my eyes. I didn't know what I rolled them to, the fact that my mom thought everything was about her or that I even bothered standing up for Maura. "Hey, Cece!" I waved. _

_ "Hey, Jane." Cece padded towards us. "Can I get a mocha?" She turned to Ma. She turned back to me, waiting for my Ma to get up. I tried to hide my smile but failed. Ma didn't like being given orders. Everyone at the precinct feared Ma. They probably feared her more than they feared me. _

_ "Excuse me?" Ma turned to Cece. She'd taken a seat next to me. Cece's hands were on my folded arms that were resting on the table. _

_ "You do work here, don't you?" Cece asked, oblivious to the tone my Ma had with her. "I just want a mocha." _

_ "Jane," Ma turned to me, with an unapproving look. "Explain to your girlfriend-" _

_ "Woah, woah, woah!" I threw my hands up. "She is not my girlfriend." I laughed. _

_ "You don't have to hide it from me, Janie." Ma's tone was reassuring. She seemed like she wasn't judging. Of course, she'd already known I was gay. Some of the girls I dated, she really didn't approve of. _

_ "Yes," Cece joined in. "We're not dating." _

_ "I'm so sorry," Ma said through chuckles. "The way you two hang around each other." _

_ "Ma!" I looked to Cece. "What do you mean the way we hang around each other?" _

_ "You guys are always so close!" Ma's hands pointed to her hands on my arms. "Exhibit A." _

_ "So, because we're physical, it means we're in a relationship?" Cece asked, completely entertained by this. I glared at her for a moment then turned back to Ma. _

_ "No," Ma let out a small sigh, irritated with Cece's amusement. "It's because you guys have become so close in a week. Janie said she didn't want a partner and almost three days later she begged you to be her partner. And, she kept you away from me. Normally she keeps the girlfriends she really like away from me." _

_ Cece grinned. "Aw, babe. You really like me?" She joked. I almost choked on my water and turned to her. It took me a moment to actually see that it'd been a joke. _

_ "I like you, a lot." I went along. I smiled before returning back to my drink. _

_ "You two will be together soon, trust me." Ma said, simply. She scooted off her barstool then returned to work. _

_ "I don't think we should ever pretend to be dating like that again," I said through my laugh. "Ma will freak if I dated another detective. For some reason it doesn't garrantee grandkids in her mind." I made a face. _

I sat down at the first table we could spot, I'd been avoiding the table I always shared with Maura.

"Did you find any leads on the Lassa Chester case?" I asked as I sipped my water. I'd still been panting from my run.

"Yes," Cece sighed, taking out her notes from her inner blazer pocket. She slid the pad in front of me, next to my bottle of water. I rubbed my wet fingers from the condensation on my shirt before picking up the pad.

"Her uncle was involved with the St. John's Baptist case?" I asked, skimming the notes, dimly. It was hard to focus with the v-neck shirt Cece wore under her blazer. Her cleavage was begging for my attention. Part of me, only a small part, thought it'd been unprofessional of her. But, there was a part of me that was extremely excited that I got a firsthand look at this.

"Yeah," She was fiddling with my water bottle. "Actually, it was kind of a surprise. It happened twenty years ago. At that time he was a minor so everything was expunged right when he turned eighteen and was released." She licked her full pink lips. This caused my breathing to become shallow. God, Cecilia De La Cruz was going to be the death of me; and I wasn't complaining one bit.

* * *

><p>The two women talked endlessly on possible suspects for the case, only to be interrupted by a call from Jane's phone.<p>

"Rizzoli," Jane said through her teeth, irritated with whoever it was that called her. She really wanted more time to talk and flirt with Cece. "Are you serious?" She flashed a look to the woman before her. "God. Okay, we'll be right there."

"What?" Cece looked at Jane, unsure if she should be worried or not.

"Lassa Chester was found dead outside of St. John's Baptist." Jane felt a piece of her die. It'd been the first serious case she had in a while. Today she was finally cleared for duty by the therapist.

"What?" Cece was up from her seat in a moment. "We have to get there." She was already heading for the door, Jane was followed behind her. Although she wanted to be as professional as possible, she was not ready to run into Dr. Maura Isles, just yet.

"She was only taken two hours ago." Jane stated as they left the car to the crime scene. "How could they have gotten to her so quickly?"

"Jane, we have Boston's best on this case." Cece assured. "There was no way we'd find her in time. She was gone without anyone even noticing. The only reason she was even reported missing was because she was supposed to meet her brother for lunch." Jane only shrugged and put on her gloves she'd recieved from the officer that had been handing them out to newcoming detectives.

"Jane," Vince greeted through his teeth. Lately, there had been a rift in their relationship. Since he found out that Jane decided against being without a partner.

"Who found her?" Cece asked, ignoring Vince's attitude.

"A mother and daughter," Barry pointed. "I'll take you to them." He said with a smile. Cece followed him to the pair. Meanwhile, Jane was staring down at the eighteen year old girl. She's never going to age again. Jane thought to herself. She grimaced at the thought.

"Doctor," Jane said, simply as she snapped on the final glove. "Do we have a cause of death?"

"No." Maura bit. "I'll have to get her back to the lab." She relaxed when Cece joined them.

"Hello, doctor." Cece smiled. As far as she was concerned, she and the doctor were on good terms. They'd had a few disagreements in the past about cause of death and reddish brown stains.

"Hello, Detective Cruz." Maura smiled up at the woman. Jane glared. _How does Cece get a smile and I don't? At least they're not on a first name basis. _Jane chuckled, silently, to herself at her thoughts. She knew she was truly selfish when it came to Maura. No one was allowed into the heart of the doctor, unless it was Jane. Did she even want a way back in? Did she miss Maura? _Stupid question._ Jane thought to herself. Of course she missed Maura.

"We did find that she has bruising all over her legs." Maura said, continuing the conversation that Jane had so easily ignored. "We'll do a rape kit, as well."

"Good." Cece said as she put her glasses back on. She walked away without another word to the doctor or the other detective next to her. She could sense the awkwardness between them. She didn't care enough to know why it'd been there. Every one talked. She knew the rumors. Cece was sure that Jane was invested in her now, not Dr. Maura Isles.

"Goddamn press," Barry breathed, his voice was low, as he was catching up to Jane when she'd started to walk away to search the crime scene more thoroughly.

"What are you talking about, Frost?" Jane asked as she eyed the welcome mat suspiciously. She wasn't really interested in whatever had been bothering him. It was only because she had so many problems of her own, at the moment.

"They twisted my words!" He almost screamed in a low whisper. "I told them that what you did was heroic and sure it could've been differently but you did what we couldn't."

"What are you talking about?" Jane turned to him, more interested now.

"They said that I didn't have confidence in the Boston PD." He was oblivious to the Jane's tone. "That I thought you were dramatic about shooting yourself."

"Why were you interviewd by the press?" Jane yelled. She turned a few heads, but it didn't bother her. "When were you going to tell me?"

"I thought you knew!" Barry Frost stepped away from his old partner. "I swear, Jane. I honestly thought you knew! Almost everyone has been interviewed about the aftermath of 'Jane Rizzoli's big stunt'" He put air quotes.

"I didn't know!" Jane yelled again, to her the turned heads were irrelevant. "Why would you agree to it?" She finally calmed down.

"Because I honestly thought I was doing good." Barry looked down, he obviously regretted his decision. "This newspaper didn't think too well of you. I had to set them straight. What you did was heroic. Truly heroic. It was selfless."

"I don't care what the paper thinks, Barry." Jane said through her teeth as she bagged some evidence. "If I truly cared about what they thought, I'd probably be so far up my own ass." She gave the bag to Barry. "Who else did they talk to."

"They've interviewed...Korsak, Crowe, Cavanaugh, Simons, Frankie, Angela," Barry was unsure if he should say the next name. "They'll be interviewing Maura sometime this week."

"Great." Jane scoffed with a roll of her eyes. "Is there anyway you can talk her out of doing that?"

"Probably not." Barry bent down to examine something more closely. "Take a look at this." He said, pointing to a piece of fabric. "Isn't this apart of her shirt?"

"Wouldn't we have to wait until it gets back to the lab?" Jane mocked. "Yeah it looks like it came from the vic's shirt. Is that blood?" She asked, pointing with her tweezers.

"No, reddish brown stain." Barry joked. They shared a small laugh before Jane bagged the evidence. "I sure do miss working with you."

"I know." Jane feigned smugness. "I'll see you back at the precinct."

* * *

><p>Thoughts? Ideas? Comments? Let me know what you think!<p>

By the way, the more reviews I get, the faster the story will be posted and completed. Reviews fuel my writing and give me a reason to write. So if you're reading this story and you haven't reviewed or you simply just wanna review it again, please do! That way you'll get what you want and I'll get what I want. :)

No go recycle something! Or sleep.


	7. Interview Part One

This chapter is definitely going to be shorter than the rest.

* * *

><p>Maura smiled when she noticed that Angela appeared to be leaving. She'd been dying for some time alone. Without Patricia around, she definitely got it. Patricia had told Maura she just wasn't ready to be with her again, which Maura understood. She only hoped that Patricia decided against rekindling their relationship. Not that Maura didn't appreciate her second chance, but it was just she wasn't really looking forward to one.<p>

"Where are you headed?" Maura asked, purely just making conversation.

"Janie's," Angela replied, unsure if she should have been honest or not. It was only fair to have been, after all, Maura was always completely honest with her. "She has a date tonight." Angela grinned.

Maura choked. "She does?" She asked between coughs. "With whom, may I ask?" She finally caught her breath, clearing her throat one final time.

"Detective Cecilia De La Cruz." Angela cited from Jane's admission earlier in the day. "She says they're just having dinner at her place. It's the first time anyone other than family has been invited to her place."

"Is it?" Maura's voice was high an octave. It was a lie on some levels. To Angela, Maura was family. To Maura, she couldn't have been any more distant since she promised Patricia she'd stay away.

"Yeah." Angela said, proudly. "Don't you have a journalist coming by?"

"Yes," Maura was reminded. She sighed, silently. "I suppose I should put on something more appropriate." She'd been wearing her night wear.

"Honestly, honey," Angela took a good look at the younger woman. "That looks better than anything in my closet."

"Thank you, Angela." Maura gave a slight smile to the compliment. "I'll see you at work, tomorrow." Maura made her way to the kitchen now.

"See ya, Doc." And now Maura was all alone with her thoughts.

"Well that was short." Maura said to herself when her doorbell rang. She breathed carefully and made her way to the door. Looking out of the peep hole and then unlocking the bolt lock, Maura pulled the door open slowly. "Hello, Stanley." She greeted with a tight fake smile.

"Hello, Dr. Isles." He already had his tape recorder going and it was at his lips. "The doctor is wearing loose pants and a loose shirt."

"No, I'm actually wearing-" She tried to defend but the old journalist put his fingers to her lips.

"Shh," He whispered. "It doesn't matter. It just helps me paint my visual."

"Sure," Maura shrugged. "Dining room, please." She pointed to the table. After checking to see if everything had been alright outside of her house then locking the door, Maura joined Stanley.

"As you know, this interview is about the family, friends, and coworkers of Detective Jane Rizzoli." He put the recorder between them on the table. "Can you tell me how you met Jane Rizzoli?" Maura thought for a moment then smiled at the memory.

"Jane and I met on my first day here." Maura's voice was relaxed and calm.

* * *

><p><em>Maura's POV<em>

_ It was my first day as the Chief Medical Examiner in Boston. I'd stayed in the morgue a great deal of the day until I was told that a body had been found. Detective Jane Rizzoli had been first on scene because the body belonged to an old roommate of hers, so she claimed. _

_ "What do we have here?" She asked me, impatiently. I hadn't even gotten to the body yet and she was already asking me questions. _

_ "I'm not sure yet." I told her. I kneeled beside the body. The woman was so young. Well, she was our age at the time, but to me that felt young. Her life had just begun but it'd ended to quickly. "Caucasian female. She appears to be in her mid-thirties." I told her. _

_ "I know this," Jane sighed. "Can you tell me how she died?" _

_ "No," I said to her as I examined the body as thoroughly as I could without damaging anything. "I'll have to get it back to the lab." For a few moments, Jane had been quiet and patient. Until she started to look at the body with me. _

_ "That looks like she was stabbed." She said, pointing to a mark on the victim's lower abdomen. "Probably cause of death." _

_ "Don't possibly know that." I told her. "She could've died of a heart attack." _

_ Jane only stared at me before she said, "Really? A heart attack? The woman was stabbed in the stomach and you think her cause of death was a heart attack? Yeah maybe she was scared to death...and died of a heart attack...from being stabbed...and scared to death!" _

_ I stared at her in disbelief. "Do you know the victim?" I askeed her, almost ignoring her rant. _

_ "Yes." Jane breathed, calmly. "We lived together, once." _

_ "Wouldn't this be conflict of interest?" I thought aloud. _

_ "No." Jane shook her head. "I'm only doing my job. I won't treat her any differently. I haven't treated her any differently. In fact, I was the only one to be able to ID her." _

_ "There wasn't a wallet or anything?" I asked her, although I knew the question lacked common sense. _

_ "Nope." Jane shook her head. "Look like she was mugged." She stood up. "Let's see," She stood away from the body. "She's walking home...from work..." Jane pointed to the victim's clothes. She was dressed as a chef. "She gets mugged. When she refuses to give up her stuff, the perp probably stabbed her and ran off." _

_ "We can't know what happened here for sure." I pointed out. "She could've been dragged here." _

_ "I don't see any drag marks," Jane looked around without leaving her spot. "In fact, I don't see any grass or anything on her shoes." She pointed to them. I took note. _

_ "You're right." I smiled. "So, the victim wasn't murdered here." I stated. _

_ "No." Jane smiled back. "It appears she wasn't." _

* * *

><p>"Were you aware that the woman, the victim, in that story was in fact; Jane's ex girlfriend?" Stanley asked.<p>

Maura nodded. "Yes," She tapped my fingers against the hard wood. "She told me a few days after."

"Ah," Stanley jotted down some notes in his pad. "So, that's how long you've known of Jane being a lesbian?"

"I'm not sure I could put a label on what Jane is." Maura scratched the back of her neck. "As far as I know, she hasn't dated anyone since Kate Klefman." She pulled her hand back down into her lap. "Well...anyone except for..." She started to say but she closed her mouth, instantly.

"Except for who?" Stanley asked, intrigued now.

"Whom." Maura corrected.

"Is Jane Rizzoli in a relationship with someone right now?" He ignored her correction. Maura flinched at the thought that she would not be able to lie to this man. So, she simply nodded. "Does this person work for the Boston Police Department?" He had smiled when Maura unwillingly nodded again. "Does this person work for the homicide unit?"

"No," Maura breathed.

"The missing persons unit?" Stanley tried again, untouched.

"Yes." Maura clenched her jaw. "Look, I'm not sure they're dating. I just know that they have gone on a date. I don't know much about Jane's life anymore."

"Okay, okay." Stanley jotted down some more notes before continuing. "How did you react when Jane shot herself?"

"I was worried," Maura shrugged. "Wouldn't any friend be?"

* * *

><p><em>Maura's POV<em>

_ I ran as quickly to Jane as I could, she'd just fallen to the ground when I got to her. I begged her not to die on me. I begged her. I pressed my hand against the entry wound to stop the bleeding, but ultimately I knew I wouldn't be able to save her myself. Frankie had already been safe at the moment. Otherwise, I wouldn't have left him alone. He just needed immediate medical attention. It would've gotten to him. They would've found another way into the precinct. _

_ "Please, Jane." I begged. "You know I have no religious views." I told her, trying to speak through my sobs. "But, I'll beg God to save you." It was that day that I had gained little faith in God. He saved Jane. I lost most of it when I was told that she died on the operating table. For six months, I begged God to bring her back. Even though I knew that it was impossible, I still begged. It was impossible that God even existed, but if he did, why not beg him to do what we thought to be the impossible? The day I saw Jane again, was the day I knew there had to be more to life. I still have little faith in God. But, I do trust him to an extinct. I'm still a scientist. I still have to see the proof. I think the emotionally part of me believes in God. _

_ Vince Korsak helped me turn Jane to her side so I could examine both wounds, equally. The exit wound had saved her life and Frankie's. It killed Detective Marino. She killed Detective Marino. I couldn't help at what cost? Just to lose her own life? She sacrified her own life to save her brother. Her brother. _

_ "She wouldn't leave you." Vince told me. Those words have always stuck with me. They haunted me while I believed she was dead. _

* * *

><p>"How did you feel when you found out that Jane was still alive?" Stanley didn't give Maura any time to pause.<p>

"I felt..." Maura thought for a moment. Choosing her words carefully. "I felt betrayed. Humiliated. Glad. Any emotion, I most likely felt it.

* * *

><p><em>Maura's POV<em>

_When I saw her leaning next to her unconscious mother, I hadn't even realized she'd been there. I mean, I saw her figure and I thought; she looks an awful lot like Jane. It wasn't until I noticed the scars on her hands. I looked up to see the deceased Jane Rizzoli alive in the flesh. _

_ "Jane," My voice was barely audible. I thought twice about saying her name again, hoping the illusion would vanish. I thought I was going crazy. I thought I would need an MRI while at the hospital with Angela. Then, she made some stupid joke. Some stupid joke that only Jane Rizzoli would make. I believe it was something about Jesus being ressurected. I'd been in shock, I hadn't been paying a whole lot of attention to her words, only her face. How could she leave us like that? How could she leave her job like that? The homicide unit had plumbeted since she'd left. _

_ In my mind, there hadn't been any reasonable explanation as to why she'd abandoned her entire family. Why she'd left to go live some life God only knows where. I was embarassed that I had ever mourned her death. I was pissed at her. I still am pissed at her. _

* * *

><p>"Do you think you'll ever forgive the detective, Ms. Isles?" Stanley asked, scooting the recorder closer to Maura.<p>

"I don't think I'll ever have the chance to." Maura stated simply. Stanley knew that the interview had been over. Maura Isles was done talking about Jane Rizzoli.

* * *

><p><strong>Please remember to review! <strong>

**Also, I have a story for Criminal Minds that pairs JJ and Emily. Guess who Emily's ex girlfriend is? Patricia! I'll be posting it as soon as I'm done with this story. You guys will definitely hate her more in that story. She cheats on Emily :( and that's how Kyla was created. I'm actually thinking about changing Kyla's age. Just taking off about two years. **


	8. Interview Part Two

A Week Later

Jane walked through the elevator doors, extremely pissed off. When she entered the morgue, Maura hadn't been in there. Jane looked towards the office door, although it was close, this was all Jane needed. _How dare she say those things? _Jane asked herself. Jane pushed the door opened, not caring if she made a hole in the wall. Maura's head snapped up at the sound.

"Come in," Maura was getting up from her seat now. She'd been completely blindsided by this.

"How dare you tell him that?" Jane demanded as she slammed the newspaper down on the doctor's desk. "How dare you tell him that I returned here just to rendevouz with another missing persons detective! Why did you tell him that was the reason I'd transferred, Maura?" Jane knew she'd been jumping gun at this moment, but whatever words were printed had to have had some truth to them. Only Maura hates her enough to say something like that. Nothing anyone else said was twisted enough to sound so heartless. So selfish. This article made Jane out to be that way.

"Are you talking about Stanley?" Maura asked, internally slapping herself for her lack of common sense at the moment. She couldn't help herself, she had to get caught up to speed. Although she never wanted to assume. Stanley hadn't been the only reporter she'd been forced to speak with. Although, Stanley's newspaper had been the only one that didn't think too high of Jane.

"Yes!" Jane's hands smashed down next to the newspaper. "How _could _you?" She demanded, her voice sounding weak.

"I didn't!" Maura didn't understand why she needed Jane to know she'd never betray her that way. She couldn't lie, and Jane knew that. Even when she'd told Patricia that she was hers, she meant it. She did not belong to Jane. As far as relationships go, Maura belonged to Patricia. Even if she didn't truly want it to be that way.

"Frost told me that they have a way of twisting words," Jane explained as she took a few steps back. She'd had a chance to smell the fragrance that radiated from the doctor. Although moving away from Maura didn't help, because the entire office smelled of her. "But, what did you say for him to word it this way?"

"I simply told him that you were dating someone in missing persons," Maura tried to explaining, fumbling over her own words. "I didn't assume nor lie. Angela told me you had a date with Detective Cruz. When he asked me if you were in a relationship, I couldn't be sure."

"It wasn't a date!" Jane did everything but scream. "It was just a dinner! She's my partner, Maura. When did you stop listening to your own mind? Do you honestly think I'd date her? When we have to work together every single day?"

Maura thought for a moment. Jane never persued a relationship with her. Reasoning behind that would have to be because of work. Again, Maura didn't want to assume. "I...yes. You're right, I'm terribly sorry."

"Yeah, well," Jane sighed. "Just...stop talking to reporters, please? It's not doing any good."

"I didn't decide to talk to them." Maura defended, carefully. "The lieutenant told us to. You apparantly gave him bad press. He wanted us all to clear the air."

"Pretty sure he didn't order Ma to interview." Jane almost laughed at the thought of her old lieutenant ordering her Ma to do something.

"No," Maura said. "But, any chance to help you and clear your name, Angela would do it." She smiled, sincerely. It'd been the first real conversation that wasn't forced between them. "Look, I apologize for whatever Stanley said about you. Next time-"

"There won't be a next time, Maura." Jane looked up at the smaller woman. "Please? I can't get smashed like this, anymore."

"When did you start to care what people thought of you?" Maura knew Jane to be an independant woman. It was what she admired about Jane. That no matter what anyone else thought, it was all about what her family thought of her. "When you start listening to rumors?"

"When people started to believe them." Jane said before she left. As she walked away, she felt something pull her back into that office. Maura felt the same way, she immediately wanted Jane back. Even if it'd meant that the brunette spent most of that time yelling at her. She missed Jane.

* * *

><p>The day had been slow. There hadn't been any leads on any of the cases Jane and Cece had been assigned to. Naturally, Jane and Barry would spend this time going over and over on what they already had. Cece chose a different method. Jane wasn't entirely sure what that method was but it got the work done. They sat at their desks, using different methods, rarely consulting in each other.<p>

"This is getting us nowhere," Cece groaned and dropped the file onto her desk from her hands. "I've reviewed the witness statements almost fifty times and I'm getting the same results. Nothing. It doesn't make any sense." She'd been referring to the most previous case they were assigned.

"Didn't they all say the same thing, though?" Jane asked, pulling her pen from her mouth. "That the victim was standing outside the bar then the next moment she hadn't been?"

"Yes," Cece put her head in her hands. "They all have almost the exact statement. Sort of like they practiced it. Like they were trying to perfect it."

"Like they were trying to have the same story..." Jane's mind was racing, putting the clues together. There hadn't been any way that five people saw the same person in the same angle and direction as each other, and not one saw the assailant who took her. "Like they were all involved."

Cece gave her a look. "What do you mean? Their alibis were solid. The bartenders were sure they saw all five people in the bar at the time of the kidnapping."

"I'm going to check the security cameras," Jane was up from her seat now. She wasn't buying their story. "You go interview the witnesses, again." She called as she was heading to the elevators.

Jane sat at her desk. She'd still been working. Everyone else in her unit had gone home, even Cece. That didn't bother Jane, she truly did work better on her own. Company didn't bother her.

"Detective," Stanley said as he approached Jane's desk. "Is this a good time?" Jane had no idea who Stanley was. As far as she knew, he was a twenty-two year old, fresh out of college. At least, that's the way he appeared in her mind. Instead, Stanley was in his late fifties_. _

"Sure," Jane closed her file. She knew she had to get this over with. Earlier in the week, she'd been orderd to set the record straight when her new lieutenant read what Maura had 'said'.

Stanley pulled out his already in progress recording device. He put it on the desk, between them. "I'd like to ask you a few questions." He stated, confident.

"Then ask." Jane was irritated now. Although she spent most of the day working her butt off, she was content. Now with Stanley here, she wanted to commit a murder.

"Why did you fake your death?" Stanley asked. "I mean, to me, it was a bit selfish. Did you not have any faith in the Boston PD? Did you not think they would be able to find Charles Hoyt?"

Jane winced at his name. "That's not it," Jane sighed. "I couldn't allow my family, my friends, my coworkers, and just Boston itself to go through this again."

* * *

><p><em>Jane's POV<em>

_ After I woke up from being sedated for almost fourty-eight hours, the lieutenant needed to talk to me. I thought to myself: really, this can't wait until the morning? Or better, when I'm feeling up for a bad conversation? But it was important, and I'm glad he told me when he did. Charles Hoyt had another apprentice, this time his apprentice was in Chicago. We wouldn't have even known about it. But, the Chicago PD seeked help from the FBI. And guess who contacted Lt. Cavanaugh? Gabriel Dean. _

_ "I'm not sure what to tell you here, Rizzoli." The lieutenant said to me. "You're not strong enough to fight him this time." _

_ "I'm tired of fighting, anyway." I closed my eyes again, but all I could see was Charles Hoyt. I sighed and reluctantly opened them again. _

_ "I can't promise you we can protect you and your family for long." He admitted. I never asked him why. _

_ "I can't ask you to," I realized how bad I'd actually sounded. I have a hoarse voice, but it almost sounded like I didn't even have a voice. "I need to die, lieutenant." _

_ "What?" I could tell I'd surprised him. He must've taken me literally. _

_ "Tell them I died." I almost laughed at his surprise. Almost. "Tell the doctors to tell them I died. I can't put them through this again. I can't put anyone through this again. I need to find Charles Hoyt." _

_ "How do you expect to do that on your own?" He wasn't convinced I had it in me. Hell, I wasn't even convinced. I didn't find anything in Chicago. It was almost a ghost town when it came to anything about about Charles. I never gave up hope. I needed to get this son of a bitch, and I had to do it soon. I left Boston, I faked my death, I did all of it because I knew Charles would've given up hope. And he did. He gave up hope just long enough for me to figure everything out. It made the race fair. _

* * *

><p>"Why did you return to Boston?" Stanley asked Jane, unconvinced by her reasoning. He wouldn't show it to her.<p>

"Because I needed to protect them." Jane said.

* * *

><p><em>Jane's POV<em>

_I couldn't let the city of Boston suffer because a bunch of gaurds believed that Charles had been sick, again. I couldn't let him near my family. I couldn't let him near my friends. I would not let him ruin their lives like he had ruined mine. I ran away from Boston. I wouldn't let him get them to make the same decision. I couldn't let any woman that looked like me down. I couldn't let any couple down. They all needed to be protected. The first time I heard of Charles Hoyt escaping, I'd been in Chicago still. _

_ "Rizzoli," The lietenant had said to me over the phone. _

_ "Yes?" I'd been busy with following a suspect. I had to keep my voice low. _

_ "He's escaped." I'll never forget the way he said it. I could tell he'd truly been afraid for me. He'd truly been afraid for our city. There was sheer horror in his voice. _

_ "I'm coming back." I hadn't stopped following the suspect, but that didn't mean Cavanaugh's words didn't get to me. I felt ice run through my veins. I'd never been more afraid in my life. I wasn't even afriad for myself. I was afraid for any victims that would suffer because I couldn't get back in time. _

_ "Jane, you need to stay in Chicago." The way he said my name, it scared me. I thought someone had already been hurt. Had it been my parents? My brothers? My coworkers? _

_ "No, lieutenant." I stopped walking at that point. I'd lost the guy. "I'm coming home. I'll be on the next flight out of there." And I was. I left later that day. I think some of my stuff is probably still in a studio apartment there. I'd paid them off for an entire year of rent. It all came from my savings. That was how invested I was in this case. _

* * *

><p>"Why did you shoot yourself, detective?" Stanley had been chewing on chips at this point.<p>

Jane rolled her eyes but answered the question. "I wanted to save my brother."

"Did you do it to kill yourself?" He dared.

"No!" Her anger flared through her. She was tired of that question. If she'd wanted to kill herself, she would've done something to motivate Marino to do it. She wouldn't have done it in front of her Frost and Korsak that way.

* * *

><p><em>Jane's POV<em>

_ I shot myself to protect Frankie, to save him. I kept thinking; if Frankie died, Ma is going to kill me. I kept begging them to shoot him, but when Marino told me that Frankie was probably already dead, I had to ensure that didn't happen. I guess...I sort of believed him in a way. And, I couldn't be responsible for his death. I couldn't live with the guilt. But, that wasn't why I shot myself. I shot myself to kill him. Whatever injury I had, I knew he would also have. I could tell you I studied the human anatomy and I knew that if I'd angled the gun just right, I'd kill Marino. That hadn't actually been my intentions. I honestly had no idea what the hell I was doing. I honestly didn't mean to kill him. I just wanted to him enough to get his gun away from me. _

* * *

><p>"Is it true you're in missing persons, now?" Stanley asked after clearing his throat. Jane only nodded. "Why did you transfer?"<p>

* * *

><p><em>Jane's POV<em>

_I knew that nothing would ever be the same in homicide ever again. I knew that I would always be looked at differently. I killed a cop and I killed Charles Hoyt. Everyone has their own opinion. Sure, those two men were responsible for multiple deaths, but so am I. I've killed people before. What was the difference between a bad guy and a good guy? I'm praised for what I did. Why are the bad guys praised? Especially when they kill other bad guys? I wanted to go to some division where I wouldn't be judged. A division no one really knew me. I mean, they all knew of me, but they didn't really know me. I think twice about pulling that trigger, now. I think about where I point it and if it's worth killing the person for. I can't have blood on my hands, anymore. Even if the person it belongs to is dirty. With missing persons, I guess, I figured it'd be easier. Less people to have to shoot. But, it' not any easier. It's just as hard. That's why I have Detective Cruz here to help me. _

* * *

><p>"Detectives Frost and Korsak assured me that you didn't want any new partners?" Stanley pushed the recorder across the stack of files. "Why did you give in to Detective Cecilia De La Cruz?"<p>

"Because the missing persons unit aren't my biggest fans," Jane rubbed her face. "I mean, they think what I did was wrong. I definitely don't blame them, but you know, it's still kind of hard to deal with."

"So you don't exactly have a lot of friends up here?" Stanley asked, as he looked around the empty bullpen.

"Exactly," Jane dropped her hands onto the desk. "Detective Cruz has been good to me." She smiled. "She may not understand why I killed Detective Bobby Marino or why I killed Charles Hoyt, but she does understand that no person deserves to be ridiculed_ on the job_."

* * *

><p><em>Jane's POV<em>

_After the first three days of being ridiculed about my killings, I'd given up. I almost wanted to go back to homicide. But, I wouldn't let them bully me around like that. No matter what happened to me, no matter how much I've changed. I'm still Jane Rizzoli. Cruz had offered me to be her partner before I'd officially even started missing persons. I'd confided in her how she dealt with all of the egotistical people in missing persons. She told me to just ignore them. My Ma said I begged her to be my partner. That really wasn't how it went down._

_I only asked her. "You're probably the nicest person to me, here." I told her._

_"That's because I don't care about what you've done," She was still working on something at her desk. "I think the good outweighs the bad, Detective. And you've done far more good than bad." That really touched me. There was someone here that thought I was a good person, even when I didn't believe it myself._

_"Do you want to be partners?" I asked her. Having a partner doesn't make someone weak. If it had, then none of us would ever work with anyone. We woudn't fall in love. We wouldn't have families. We wouldn't have friends. Detective Cruz was my friend. Why shouldn't I have been partners with her? The woman was brilliant. We combined my skill with her skill, and you know what? We made a great team._

* * *

><p>"Interesting," Stanley licked his fingers. "So, how is your relationship with Dr. Isles?"<p>

Jane clenched her jaw at the name. "Dr. Isles and I are fine." She saw through her teeth. "I mean, we don't really work together as much anymore. Detective Cruz loves working with the doctor, so if one of our victims die, she's the first at the crime scene, or down at the morgue , asking the doctor questions."

"I hear you two were best friends, Jane." He smiled. "What happened?"

"Work happened." Jane shrugged. "Much like a lot of my other coworkers, much like you and your newspaper, she didn't like what I did. She didn't like that I shot myself. She didn't like that I faked my death. We have differences. And two people with major differences, differences so big that they argue about everything, shouldn't even be friends, should they, Stanley?"

"No," He shook his head. "They should not."

"Yeah," Jane leaned back in her seat.

"So, I heard from Dr. Isles herself that you're involved with someone from missing persons." Stanley smirked. He knew Jane was hoping to avoid this next question. "Are you dating someone from your unit, Jane?"

"No." Jane said firmly. If she'd been like Maura, she wouldn't have been hyperventilating. She was a good liar, but this was not a lie. "I am not. Whoever told Maura Isles that I was in a relationship with someone here, obviously misunderstood the truth. Detective Cruz and I were simply working late on our cases. There's more than you can imagine."

"Oh, I can imagine," Stanley smiled. "So, Maura's informant was lying?"

"Could've been," Jane shrugged. "Maybe they misunderstood, maybe they lied. Maybe their words were twisted, just like you will twist my words. But, whatever Maura Isles said about my dating someone in the missing persons unit, wasn't the truth."

"And this person you were supposedly dating," He cleared his throat. "It was said to be Detective Cruz, just by you. Do you have any feelings for Cecilia De La Cruz?"

"I feel for her as I would for a sister," Jane lied. "With partners, you have to treat them like an older or younger sibling. You have to protect them and they have to protect you. You have to work with them on everything. It's almost like you're in a relationship. Because, I have to check with her on where I'm going. I have to spend a lot of time with her. I have to make sure we understand each other. But, if everyone considers partners their significant other, that means I've dated Barry Frost and Vince Korsak, as well."

"So, you're not dating anyone?" Stanley asked.

"No." She smiled. This also, was the truth.

"Then..." He looked down at his notes. "That is all I have for now. I'll be in touch. Thank you for your time."

"Yup," Jane said. "You can see yourself out." She wasn't ready to home, yet. In fact, she wasn't even sure if she could call her apartment home. Honestly, she'd wanted to move in her with mom back into her childhood home. But, it wasn't theirs anymore. That was her home, though. That's where so desperately needed to be. There and in the arms of her mother.

* * *

><p><strong>Review, reduce, recycle! So, I'm like extremely tired from the Chemotherapy. I had my first session this week, so I'm just kind of feeling the effects of it, not all of them just some so far. But thank you guys for sticking with me and your ideas. I'm sorry if I have the characters out of character. I will try to get them as perfect as possible. I want to start including an actual case where Maura and Jane will be forced to work together. Also, this is going to be a LONG story. Like...if I do decide to get them together, even that won't be the end of the story. Also, I knew Maura seems to be talking like a regular person. As I said before, French is my first language. English is a very difficult language to learn. So...for now, Maura will talk like a normal person. She'll be all proper like but the big words will only slow me down. Again, thank you guys so much.<strong>

**Also, I got a review saying that Jane seems to be sexual? All people have sexual thoughts, rather we verbalize them or not. We all have sexual thoughts. So, just because Jane is attracted to Cece, doesn't mean she's going to have hardcore sex with her. But thank you for your opinion and I will tone down the sexual thoughts of Jane.**

**Remember!**

**Send me your:**

**THOUGHTS! IDEAS! COMMENTS! WISHES! and possibly an immediate cure for a low grade astrocytoma.**


	9. Confronting

Two Weeks Later.

Maura stood in her bedroom, looking for the perfect outfit. Dinner was almost done, all she had to do was make herself presentable. She had a few things laid across her bed, deciding mentally which ones worked best.

"Maura," Angela said as she knocked on open bedroom door. "I'm sorry for bothering you, but I just really needed to talk to you."

"Sure, Angie, come in." Maura tightened her robe, around her body. "What's this about?"

Angela took a seat near the door on a convenient chair. "Lately, you've sort of distant from me. We used to cook dinner together. We used to read together. We used to just spend time with each other. Now, since you and my Janie aren't friends, it feels like I lost you too."

"Angela," Maura breathed. She looked at the older woman. This woman was more of a mother to her than her own mother had ever been. "I..." But she couldn't lie to her. Being around Jane's family reminded her so much of Jane. It only made her think of how much she missed the tall brunette. "I'm sorry," She flashed a sincere smile.

"If you're truly sorry," Angela's lips turned into a slight smile. "You'll join us for family dinner. I've finally convinced Jane to join us, here."

"What stopped her before?" Maura asked as she leveled herself onto her bed.

"You," Angela sighed. "She said she didn't want to impose on you at your own home." She made a face. "I think that's just ridiculous. You would never ban her from a family dinner."

"That's true," Maura smiled. "I wouldn't."

"So will you join us?" Angela tried to hold her excitement. She didn't want to get her hopes up. "All of us?"

"Yes." Maura smiled. "I will join all of you." Angela's smile turned into a full blown grin. "Oh, I forgot to ask you, what happened between Patricia and you?"

"Let's just say things didn't go as planned," Maura took a deep breath, getting ready to explain to Angela.

_Maura's POV_

_ A week prior. _

_ I'd been really excited, I honestly thought I was ready for a relationship. To be honest, I didn't really love Patricia. I didn't have much of any feelings for her. One day, while doing an autopsy, yes I know it's an odd place to think, I couldn't help but think of how much Patricia is good for me. She keeps me...human. She makes me laugh, she makes me smile, she makes me happy with her company. I had only platonic feelings for her, but she was good for me and truly I needed her. I suppose, I did love her, but the way I would love a dear friend. Patricia had been a good neighbor to me for years, and it was nice that we took our friendship to the next level. While I didn't have her in my life, I was actually pretty upset about it. So, to keep her happy, I decided to give her all of me. I decided we might as well be together, right? I'm content and she's happy, why mess such a good thing up. I normally don't need company, because I've always been alone. Jane changed me. She showed me that it's okay to need people. She taught me that it's okay to love others and allow them into my world. _

_ I haven't exactly regretted the decision to open up to people. I've gained so many great companions. Vince was like a father. Barry and Frankie were like my brothers. Angela had been like a mother. They were the family I'd never had, they were the family I'd always wanted. Patricia and I decided to have dinner at her place, while Kyla was away. _

_ "Thanks for joining," She'd said to me after she served the food. _

_ "Any time," I smiled before taking a bite of the Pollo Guisado Dominincano. "This is amazing." I chewed carefuly. I wasn't a fan of chicken. It only made me even more nervous about the news on our relationship. _

_ "Thank you." Patricia said, unenthusiastically. The rest of the dinner had gone without much conversation. Finally, when it was time for the talk, we had a bottle of wine that I'd brought over. _

_ "Listen, Patricia," I said to her as she sipped her wine. This was the perfect time to talk to her. "I'm sorry for cheating on. I regret it." I actually did. I did enjoy my time with Jane, but it was unacceptable. "I...would love to work this out with you. You make me really happy." _

_ "That makes this harder," She'd sighed, putting her glass down. "I love you, Maura. But, I don't think I or anyone else will ever measure up to Detective Jane Rizzoli. No one will ever have an actual chance with you because your heart belongs to her. You know that. I know that. While, I adore you. I just think that maybe we should just be friends." _

_ I wasn't sure how I should feel so I only smiled. It was what I wanted. To just be friends with her. I knew that people said they should remain friends, but how often did that actually happen? I wanted Patricia in my life, I needed her in my life. I was happy I didn't have to continue a romantic relationship with her. However, I wasn't sure I believed that my heart belonged to Jane. Sure, at one point, I loved her and I would've done anything for her but she hurt me beyond repair. Patricia was right when she said that no one would ever have a chance again. Because of Jane, I couldn't love. The one time I loved someone more than myself, I lost them. I lost her. _

_ "Thank you," I stood, I had no business being in her home anymore. _

_ "I really mean it," Patricia joined me for the walk to her door. "I truly do want to be friends with you. Just because I don't want to be with you doesn't mean I don't want you in my life." _

_ "Thank you." I smiled up to her. "How about lunch tomorrow?" _

_ "Lunch sounds great." She kissed my cheek then hugged me before I turned to leave her. _

Maura sighed at the sad story. She felt more than lonely now because ever since that night, Patricia cancelled all of their plans. Maura had finally just given up hope and said goodbye to the woman.

"I'm so sorry, Maura." Angela was next to the younger woman on her bed, now. She had an arm wrapped around Maura's shoulders. "May I ask why she needed time to think?"

Maura thought for a moment. She debated with herself. _Should I tell her? What would she think of me? Angela isn't a very judging person. I've just lied to myself, Angela is a _very _judging person. _"I cheated on her." Maura finally said.

"Oh," Angela's hand stopped moving. She'd been rubbing Maura's other arm. "With who?"

"Whom," Maura corrected. "Jane." She spat out the name. Now, Angela removed her arm from Maura's body.

"You had sex with Jane?" She tried to think over and over in her head of when they could've done that. It seemed like they hadn't actually been friends since Jane's return.

"Mrs. Rizzoli," It'd been the first time Maura had referred to her as that, in a very long time. It seemed necessary. "I had no intentions of it happening. We were arguing...and...It just happened."

"You had sex with Jane!" Angela grinned. "You love her, don't you?" The older woman was jumping with excitement now.

Another direct question. "Yes," She breathed.

"Oh, my, God!" The older woman literally jumped. "This is so fantastic! I knew it! You took it so hard when she 'died' and I could hear you cry every night. I still hear you cry. I couldn't put it together. Why did it take me so long? How long? When? God, I have to know everything! Hold that thought!" She yelled when Maura tried to answer all of her questions. "I'll be right back!" She ran into the kitchen. She returned with two wine glasses and a bottle of wine. "Details! Well...not on the sex part because that makes me want to vomit. But, please tell me when you realised her you fell in love! How long have you known?"

"I've known...for a while." Maura couldn't hide the smile on her face. For once, she could talk about her feelings for Jane. "It was after Charles Hoyt returned, the first time. I know I loved her longer than that, but that was when I _realised_ it. "

_Maura's POV_

_Jane and I had returned from drinking that night. The night Charles Hoyt had defaced her apartment. We decided to get some drinks, she felt we would need to be drunk in order to clean the place up._

_"Maura," Jane fell down on her couch. She'd been a little more than drunk. "I don't know how we you can be so calm after what happened tonight."_

_"I almost lost you." I conceded to myself. "Tomorrow, I'll definitely be feeling the effects of tonight's events."_

_"Aww," She cooed, fer face was burried deep into the pillow. "Dr. Isles, do you actually like me?"_

_I chuckled. "I think...I think I actually do." I couldn't help but smile. Only Jane could make the best of a bad situation. All I was glad was that I had her back into my life. I honestly thought I would lose her that night. I thought I had already lost her and all I could think about was not being able to tell her how I felt about her. When she told me that she'd be there at the apartment and never showed up, I kept thinking she got caught up. Then I couldn't hide behind the callowness any longer. I had to face the facts that Jane may be dead. Charles Hoyt had escaped, hadn't he? I never assumed, but statistics were telling me her chances. They were very slim. I was stupid to believe Jane would give in to Charles. I was stupid to count her as a statistic. She was more than that._

_"I love you, Maura." Jane said as she dosed off to sleep. I could tell she'd been tired because as we sat in silence, she stared at me with sleepy eyes. I stared at her with glad eyes._

_"Let's get you off to your bed." I told her as I tried to help her to her feet. She protested at first, but eventually we made it to her room. As Jane slept, I cleaned what I could. I'd been unsure of somethings in her apartment, their places and all. So, I cleaned to the best of my abilities. When I laid next to her in her bed, I'd decided on meditating but all I could see was Charles Hoyt._

_All I could see was what he could have done to her. What he would have done to her. The thought itself brought me to tears. I silently cried, I didn't want to disturb her. The tears turned into sobs, and I couldn't hold back anymore. My sobs must have woke Jane because she wrapped her arm around me and pulled me closer to her._

_"It's okay," She whispered, sleepily. "I'm okay. I'm here." That was the night that everything in our relationship changed. She was no longer my best friend in my eyes. She was the love my life. She was the one person I knew I wanted to be with. I knew she had feelings for me, I knew she adored me, but she never tried anything with me. I thought that was just the way Jane was. Relationships weren't her thing, and I could understand that. She loved her job. I knew she valued our friendship more than anything, and I knew she wouldn't do anything to mess that up. At least I thought I knew that. So I decided to never tell her how I felt, I only hoped that she knew._

"Do you believe she still has feelings for you?" Angela asked Maura, she had a smile on her face that stretched from ear to ear. "I mean, you've always been imprudent. I assumed that was why you let Patricia kiss you in public. You were comfortable with your sexuality. You have to be! You would always go on and on with Jane about how she needs to experience more orgasms." Angela chuckled at the last bit.

"Patricia was physically affectionate to me." Maura remininsced. "But, she was only that way when we didn't have to be professional. When we were safe to let our guard down. When we had my favorite cops there to protect us from any threats." Maura shook her head to the first Angela asked, realising she'd fallen off track. "No, I don't believe she still has feelings for me, Angela. But, that's good. Because, she's happier now. She's happier in missing persons. She's happier without me, Angela. I won't dare take that away from her."

"Dr. Isles, are you assuming?" Angela joked.

"For once," Maura shrugged. "I guess I am. I'm not just assuming from what I see. She genuinely seems happy. Even Detective Frost said so."

"Don't you miss her?" Angela asked, as she poured her wine glass back up. This had been a lot to take in. Dr. Maura Isles was in love with her only daughter, Jane. Something she'd imagined many times but after the course of the last few months, she never thought anything would truly happen.

"Angie," Maura breathed. "I miss Jane Angela Rizzoli more than I've ever missed anyone in my life." She let silent tears fall from her eyes. Angela only nodded, but she comforted the doctor. Even though she knew Maura had a dinner meeting with some of her assosciates, Angela never left the younger woman's side until it was cardinal.

* * *

><p><strong>I think you guys are going to love me because I already love all of you! Now Review. <strong>


	10. Awkward

Jane and Barry Frost joined Angela down in the cafe the next morning for breakfast. Jane decided to come into work early so she could catch up with them, she truly missed them more than anything. When Angela served the breakfast for them, Barry dug right into his food.

"Haven't eaten like this since I seen my own momma," Barry said as he chewed and laughed.

"When was that? Yesterday?" Jane joked. She tried to hide her laugh, but Barry was already making a face at her.

"Say what you want," He shrugged. "I don't care if I'm a momma's boy. At least I got some meat on my bones." He pinched Jane's stomach.

"She would!" Angela commented. "If she came by for dinner once in a while!"

"That would mean she would have to see the Doc." Barry chuckled. Jane only made a mocking face to him.

"Speaking of the Doc," Angela shifted in her seat, becoming giddy from the news of the previous night. "When was the last time you had an orgasm?"

Barry choked on his food. He pulled his drink to his lips. Jane gasped and stared at her mother. "Ma!" She yelled. "How did you get that from Maura?" She didn't bother hiding her laugh.

"I think I should go," Barry grabbed his plate and drink, scooting off of the barstool.

"No!" Jane grabbed his arm. "Stay!"

"Jane..." He looked torn. He was never comfortable hearing of Jane's sexual life. No matter how close they were, it was always an uncomfortable topic for him. "I don't think..."

"You two have known each other for years, Frost." Angela excused. "So, Jane. When was it?"

"Ma, please." Jane shot a look to her mother before looking to Barry. "Stay." She ordered. This made him sit back down, but he ate his food carefully.

"Would you prefer to talk to Cece about this?" Angela asked, she was going to find out anyway. "She'll just tell me."

"Do you make a habit of talking to all of my friends about my sex life?" Jane asked as she crossed her arms. "Ma, please tell me you don't bother Detective Cruz about my sex life."

"No." Angela smiled, innocently.

"Good." Jane relaxed in her seat.

"I don't think it's actually a bother to her." Angela let out a small laugh. "Janie, just tell me. I'll ask around the station if I have to."

"Oh God!" Jane's face mimicked horror. "Please don't!"

"Are you seeing anyone, Janie?" Angela ignored her daughter's pleas. "Because if you are, I'd love to meet this woman."

"What makes you think it's a woman?" Jane didn't really need to ask the question, but she'd dated men too. Well...dating was a strong word. She had sexual experiences with men that only lasted one night. Agent Dean being one of those men. Jorge being another one.

"Come on, Jane." Barry cut in. "I've only seen you happy with women." That was exaggerated, there was only one woman he'd seen her happy with. He only hoped she didn't question him about the women. He would be forced to say Maura as the first and foremost.

"I see men, too." She defended, exceptionally agitated that she had to admit this in front of her mother. "I mean...I'm not exlusive to women. Actually, let's just say I'm asexual."

"So, you masturbate?" Angela asked, irked by the question, herself.

"Ma!" Jane screeched. Barry was choking on his food again, this time he insisted that he left. When Jane couldn't stop him from walking away and abandoning his food, Jane turned to glare at her mother. "Why do you have to be like Maura and ask really personal questions like that?" She crossed her arms over her chest.

Angela shrugged. "I just want to know that you're happy. You're not fooling me, you know."

"Fooling you?" Jane's stance had not changed. She was still upset with Angela.

"I know you're still really unhappy." Angela took the seat closer to Jane. "I know that you miss Maura. I know that you miss homicide. I know that you miss your old life."

"I can't have that back." Jane said through a sigh. "It's over. My homicide days, my happy days, my friendship with Maura, it's all over. I'm just trying to be happy where I am now."

"How is that going?" Angela noticed Maura enter the cafe. She would attend to her as soon as she finished speaking with Jane. "How are you, Jane? How are you really?"

"Content." Jane lied. She wouldn't tell her mother that she was happy, because Angela pointed out she could see that wasn't fooling her. She would have to settle for a smaller lie. Content was a lot closer to the truth than happy, anyway. "I'm okay, Ma. You don't gotta worry about me, okay? Instead, put all of this energy into Tommy."

"Tommy," Angela repeated. "Tommy is staying with us, you know."

"Us?" Jane sat up in her seat.

"Maura and I." Angela used a tilt of her head to point to the doctor, who'd been checking out some of the drinks from a vending machine. She knew they weren't healthy, or near healthy, but she needed something to do with her time.

"How long has he been there?" Jane felt anger rise in her. She knew Tommy had got out, but he made it clear he did not want anything to do with Jane. She gladly stayed away from me.

"Since Sunday." Angela propped her elbow on the table, and her head rested in her palm.

"He's been there five days?" Jane demanded. "When were you going to tell me?"

"I just told you..." Angela said, absently, watching Maura decide on a drink.

"But, telling me now...isn't really telling me." Jane sighed, heavily. "Ma, he's going to take advantage of her."

"Why do you have such little faith in your brother, Jane?" Angela's attention was fully on Jane now. She hated the way Jane and Tommy talked of each other. She would never understand why they hated each other. Actually, she did understand. Jane was a detective. Tommy was a convicted felon. But, they were family. They were supposed to look past all of that stuff. They were supposed to love each other, regardless of what they did.

"I'm a cop, Ma. I have to look at him that way." Jane took a deep breath. "Ma, please, get him out of Maura's house."

"Excuse me?" Maura was getting ready to leave the cafe when she'd heard her name. "What about me?"

"Nothing," Jane shook her head.

"Jane thinks we should kick Tommy out." Angela informed. Jane sighed. "She thinks he'll dishonor your trust in him."

"I'm happy to have Tommy around." Maura smiled. "He's great company."

Jane made a disgusted face. "Vomit."

"Really, Jane, I don't mind." Maura assured. "Thank you for worrying, but I trust Tommy." When Maura was a safe distance away, Jane turned to her mother.

"Okay," She glanced over her shoulder. "What was that? She normally talks to me like she hates me."

"But she doesn't," Angela laughed at the irony.

"No, Ma," Jane insisted. "I'm _pretty_ sure she does." Angela was going to say something but that would dishonor the trust Maura had invested in her. Instead, she just shrugged and continued eating her breakfast. She was going to get those two together, even if it meant her life depended upon it. They were meant for each other. Everyone had seen it. How could anyone not see it? Jane was so happy when she was around Maura, even just then, she relaxed when Maura assured her that Tommy wouldn't mess up. Jane was just happy that Maura said more than two words to her that didn't involve the cause of death of a dead body. Slowly, Jane was going to be sucked back into Maura's world and she didn't even know it.

* * *

><p>Jane's POV<p>

I couldn't believe I'd agreed to the stupid family dinner with Ma and my brothers. Ma told me that Maura wouldn't be there, but something in her tone seemed mocking. I didn't know if I should believe her or not. I wasn't surprised when I'd seen Maura's Prius in her driveway as I pulled up. I also saw Frankie's car and Ma's car. I knocked on the door twice then waited. I rang the door bell then waited.

"She said eight, right?" I asked myself as I looked at my watch, impatiently. The lights were on, but no one was answering the door. I was just about to turn around and call go home, because I didn't want to be here, anyway. But, I could hear someone unlocking the door. It was Tommy.

"Jane," He smiled but he didn't open the door far enough to let me in.

"Tommy," I said through my teeth. Who was he to keep me from entering Maura's home? My best friend's home? "Can you move?" I finally asked, when he only stared at me for a few moments. Tommy took a deep breath then shook his head.

"Look," He stepped foot on the porch and closed the door behind him. "I don't want any trouble tonight. You have the tendency to bring out the asshole in me."

"No, Tommy," I rolled my eyes. "You are just an asshole. I don't do anything."

"Yeah, whatever," He kept his hand on the doorknob. "Look, I really like Maura, and I don't want her to think I'm that guy. That I have a bad temper or something. That I'll hurt her. I think I have a good chance here, Janie. Everyone keeps telling me that you and Maura used to be really close, that she listens to you. Please don't screw this up for me." I couldn't believe he was asking me to do such a thing? Tommy did have a bad temper. He would hurt her. Even if he never hit her, he'd hurt her somehow. I couldn't just let him do that.

"Tommy..." I started to say, but the door opened so quickly I didn't have the time to tell him to go to hell. It wasn't like Maura was going to listen to me now. It wasn't like she still cared about me. No matter what Ma tried to tell me. No matter what Barry tried to tell me. I just knew that Maura didn't love me, anymore. Why would she? I was a murderer. I _am _a murderer.

"Jane..." Maura seemed surprised to see Tommy and I together. She shared a look with him before stepping onto the porch with us. "Tommy, can you give us a minute?" A minute. That was probably exactly what I would get with her.

"Sure," He was reluctant to say that. Tommy looked at Maura and I before closing the door behind himself. I could smell what Ma had been cooking.

"Jane," Maura crossed her arms. Great, she's going to yell at me. "Just because this is my home, doesn't mean you aren't allowed to stop by and see your family." She hadn't been looking at me, but I could see her face. The porch light showed her beauty, perfectly.

I took an involuntary deep breath. "Maura," I could tell my voice demanded her eyes to look at me. "I don't come by because my family is a nut case." I laughed a little.

This made Maura smile. God, how I missed that smile. "They miss you."

"They see me everyday at work." Even I knew that hadn't been entirely true. Just because they saw me didn't mean I actually spoke to them. I pawned it off as a busy schedule.

"Tommy doesn't get to see you." So no one told her why.

"He doesn't get to," I breathed deeply. "He walks in there and he'll have every cop itching to arrest him. He's bad, Maur. Real bad."

"I can't see it that way," Maura looked away. Did she have feelings for him too? Oh, God. Just another thing I needed to talk about with my new therapist. "Your parents did a wonderful job of raising all of you. Two of you are putting your lives on the line to save others. So, one of you all had a bad start. That doesn't necessarily make him a bad person."

"Maybe not," I was going to say more but I only clenched my jaw. Maura turned to me. "If he makes you happy, Maur, then I'm happy." I tried to smile but failed.

Maura searched my eyes, she looked confused. She probably wanted to know if I was telling the truth. I didn't even know if I was telling the truth. Part of me wanted her to suffer with me, but I knew that made me selfish. I just wanted her to miss me as much as I missed her. I wanted her to need me as much as I needed her. I wanted her to love me as much as I loved her.

"Tommy and I are _not_ together," She informed me, her voice breaking.

"Yet." I shifted to support my weight on my other leg. "Look, I'm not judging. I've dated some assholes in my day. I would love better for you. Someone who can support you with more than a dog walker's salary."

"Enough, Jane!" She snapped. "You don't get to insult him like that! He's trying to get his life back. More than I can say for you. You ran from your problems."

I glared at her. She had no idea what I was going through, why I transferred divisions. I was trying to make things better for everyone else. I was trying to get _myself_ back, not my life. "Yes, we all know the criminal is a much better person than I am." I dropped the flowers I'd brought for Ma. I started to walk back to my car. Fuck Maura. Fuck Tommy. I hoped they had smart criminal kids. Kids who were smart but ran over Preists.

"Where are you going?" Maura called out behind me.

"Home!" I yelled as I unlocked my door.

"Jane!" She yelled, but I didn't turn around. I didn't care, anymore. I would never step foot near her house ever again. Even if it meant she was kidnapped and it was my job. Okay, that was a little extreme. I would do it, I just wouldn't want to.


	11. Therapy Part One

**The next two chapters are going to be short. I have to split them up for dramatic effect!**

* * *

><p>Jane's POV<p>

Session #3.

I sat down on the all too familiar couch, and looked at the all too familiar doctor across from me. She wasn't a doctor like Maura. She was a PHD in some sort of fancy study of the mind. I'd seen her twice before, this was my third time. Dr. Hardwick and I had an understanding. She wouldn't tell anyone she was my therapist, and I would be one hundred percent honest with her and my feelings.

"Detective," She said as she put her writing pad down on the table between us. "How has your week been?"

I crossed my legs before answer. I was going to have to get comfortable. I'd had a hell of a week. "Father kidnapped his own daughter. Sold her to pay off his debts in Mexico." I clenched my jaw for a moment. "Bastard had no remorse."

"I was thinking more along the lines of your personal life," She laughed. "We'll get to work later, I promise."

I sighed. "Maura is dating Tommy." I breathed. "Tommy is my little brother. Did three years for running over a Preist because he'd been drinking and driving."

"Dr. Maura Isles?" She knew damn well who I'd been talking about. Maura was part of the reason I'd even been here in the first place. She was a major part of the reason. "How do you feel about that?"

"I fucking hate it," I flinched at my own foul language. I could hear Maura telling me to watch it in my head. I smiled for exactly a second before continuing.

"What?" The doctor interrupted me.

"It's just," I smiled again. "Maura used to always warn me to watch my langauge."

"Ah," She tapped her pen. "I see." She urged me to continue with a nod.

"I hate the thought of him touching her, Doc." I made a face. "Tommy is my _little _brother. Maura is my...best friend."

"Do you think they make each other happy?" She asked.

"I guess," I sighed. "I don't know to be honest."

"If they did," She started but stopped for a moment. "If they did make each other happy, wouldn't you want the best for her if she's your best friend and he's your brother?"

"Sure," I had my head resting in my palm, which had been propped up on the arm of the couch.

"Honesty, Jane," The other brunette said, calmly. "It's the only way this is going to work."

"I hate the thought of them being together," I almost yelled. "I really truly hate it. I mean...he's a fucking criminal. She deserves someone who can financially support her, you know? Someone who can I don't know, actually take care of her. He's going to be look over his shoulders for the rest of his life. He's going to be judged. He'll never have a good job."

"You said so yourself that Maura is loaded with money," The doctor pointed out. "Maybe she doesn't need him to take care of her. Maybe that's not what she's looking for, Jane."

"I know!" I snapped. "I just thought that she had standards. All of the guys she dates take her to all of those fancy places." I settled back into my seat, relaxing only slightly. "I just thought she should be with someone who can understand. Tommy wouldn't understand half the things that Maura talks about."

"Like you do?" Dr. Hardwick seemed to challenged the idea.

"No," I laughed. "I don't understand her at all, but that doesn't bother her or me."

"Jane, what's the real reason you don't want them to be together?" That smile on her face was the smile that showed she knew I had feelings for Maura.

"Because," I ran my fingers through my hair. "She's mine." I thought about the night I made love to her. The way she screamed my name. The way she told me how she felt. The way she cried for me. Then...the way she left me.

"She's yours?" Dr. Hardwick arched her eyebrow. "What do you mean she's _yours_?"

"A few months ago, Maura and I made love." I smiled, relishing the memory. Just that memory. Not her leaving me. "I still hear those words in my head when I told her to let me back into her heart."

"What words, Jane?"

"'Let you back in?'" I said aloud, perfecting Maura's tone from that night. "'You never left! You...do you realize how I even feel about you?'"

"How does she feel about you, Jane?" The doctor was writing something down. "Really think about it. Think about the day you faked your death. Think about that day and every day before that day that you've known Maura. Disregard these last few months since your return. Think about it as if you weren't yourself and only someone else looking in."

I thought about. I thought about the way she cried for me when Charles Hoyt had returned but I escaped his grasp. I thought about how she went to all of my baseball games. How she even tried to play. I thought of that night when we were at Merch and she looked so beautiful as a waitress. I thought about those nights I had nightmares and all I had to do was hear her voice to be okay. The way she didn't care that I called her at two in the morning. The way she drove all the way to my apartment just to make sure I was okay.

When PattyDoyle had kidnapped her and I felt so helpless, the way I was the first person she'd called. The way she took care of me when I shot myself. She was the first face I saw before I passed out.

Maura Isles was in love with me.


	12. Therapy Part Two

Maura's POV

Session #1

I needed a change. I couldn't go on living this unhappy. It was unfair to me and everyone else close to me. I couldn't let Jane win this way. _It's not a race_, I had to remind myself. _She's not competing with you. She doesn't want to win. _I sighed as I waited for the doctor to join me from the restroom. I'd been waiting in his office when his assistant let me in.

"Hello, doctor." He greeted as he took a seat in the chair across from mine. There had been a small table between us.

"Hello," I tried to smile. I wasn't sure if it'd worked or not.

"First, we should start by you telling me things about yourself." He shifted in his seat. "Things that I should know before start."

"Okay," I thought for a moment, racking through my mind. "I'm the Chief Medical Examiner for the Boston Police Department." I started off. "I am the daughter of the Isles' family. I have a trust fund that is worth millions."

"Okay," Dr. Wright nodded. I could tell he was a little jealous, but I didn't care. This wasn't about him. These sessions would never be about him. For once, I didn't have to feel about it. "So, my second question is...what brings you here?"

"I fell in love with my best friend, Jane Rizzoli." I admitted, quietly.

He looked at me for a moment. "You didn't think I should know that you were a lesbian?"

I clenched my jaw at his tone. "I didn't think it was a problem. It isn't, is it?"

"No!" He smiled. "I'm gay. I just...I guess I really don't like being blindsided by things. It's better if I things upfront." He paused for a moment. "Please, continue."

"I'm not sure if you've heard of her," He nodded. "Well, yeah. She exaggerated her death." I could see him pushing the tissues closer to me from the corner of my eye. I'd been far away in thought. "When she left, I felt every piece of me leave along with her. I thought I died that day, as well. Figuratively, speaking, of course. I'm very much alive."

"So is she," He pointed out.

I nodded. "She is." I wanted to smile, but it hurt too much. "I keep telling myself that she did it to protect me. But, I don't understand why she didn't bring me with her."

"If what the papers said was true, don't you think shooting herself was the perfect alibi?" Dr. Wright crossed his legs.

"It was the perfect alibi," I said through my teeth. "Charles Hoyt would've investigated her death. He wouldn't have believed it until he saw with his own eyes. Jane shooting herself was true, so there wasn't anything to investigate. All of us mourning her was true, so Hoyt's apprentice wouldn't need to think we were lying."

"Exactly," He urged me continue after interrupting.

"I want to forgive her. I'm so tired of hurting." I swallowed. "For six months I wasn't myself. I'm not myself now, either. But, she's here. She's alive. For six months I suffered. I thought I would never be happy again. Where was she? Living a life she'd always wanted, somewhere else? I don't think I actually want to know."

"Maybe she was missing you." He offered. I shook my head. "Tell me about your childhood, Maura."

I stood up. This was a topic I was not too particularly happy about. "I was adopted. My social parents barely raised me. Actually, it was the nannies and maids who did it for them. Around the time I was ten, I begged them to send me to a boarding school." I started pacing. "I rarely visited them. Every other Christmas if they were lucky. When I returned to the United States, I found myself in Boston. I went to college here. After college, I worked a few petty assistant jobs for doctors. Then I worked my way up to the position I have now."

"So..." He looked at me. "You and your parents weren't close?"

"We still aren't." I shrugged. "But, that's fine, because I've just been adopted into a loving family."

"Would I know them?" He asked.

I nodded. "The Rizzoli family." I smiled. "They have been so great to me. Angela, Jane's mother, has taken me under her wing. We share recipes. We shop together. We share books with each other. We do all of the things I've always wanted to do with my own mother."

"How does Jane feel about this?"

"She doesn't like it," I sat back down. "I mean, I guess she hasn't really been around. She stays away from them when I'm there."

"Do you know why?"

I got up again to start pacing. "A few months ago, I was dating a woman named Patricia when Jane returned. One night things out of control and Jane and I had intercourse." I heard him chuckle, but it was to be expected. "When I told Patricia, she asked me to stay away from Jane. When I ignore someone, I am extremely good at it. So, I ignored Jane. She got the hint by the third day. She hasn't tried talking to me unless it was work-related since then."

"So, she thinks you're still trying to stay away from her?"

"Most likely," I shrugged. "I can't say for sure. That would be an assumption." I heard him chuckle again.

"How is your job?" He asked me, changing the subject.

"I love my job." There was a look on his face that was familiar. "I'm odd, I get that a lot. What type of person loves to work with dead bodies? I do. They don't judge me. It's not too difficult to understand them. I was taught to. They don't try to understand me...because they're dead."

"Do you think you've changed at doing your job since Jane's return?"

"Yes," I sighed. "My work has greatly suffered due to my depression."

"Self diagnosis?" He asked.

"I'm a medical doctor. I know the signs of depression." I took a seat on the couch in his office. He shifted his chair to face me. "I came here, I came to you because I want to be happy."

"How happy?" He asked. My face turned in confusion. "I mean which happy do you want to be? Happy before Jane hurt you or happy without Jane?"

"Honestly?" I stood up again. I could tell he'd been getting tired of my constant movements. "I want to be happy _with _Jane."

* * *

><p><strong>Review! Let me know what you think! I gave y'all what y'all want now give me what I want ;) Classic I'll show you mine if you show me yours...but this isn't sexual at all. So...sorry. <strong>

**Also, I know most people are like "why is this rated M if you've only made them have sex one?" well they have to be together to get it in! Trust me, we'll get to that. They'll be having so much sex you'll be begging me to make them leave the room. **


	13. Revelations

Working hard in missing persons, Jane never had time for a good dinner. She didn't like to cook, although she barely knew how, she did know enough to take care of herself. Jane spent too much time spreading the peanut butter on each bread. She was deep in thought about a case, trying to put everything together in her head. Nothing made sense, and it wasn't the situation of the case. It was just missing persons itself. Jane couldn't lie to herself, she was at heart a homicide detective. But, she wasn't giving up on missing persons. She was determined to become one of the best at that too.

"Shoot," Jane had realized she'd filled each side of both bread slices with peanut butter. "Damn it." She thought about throwing them both away, but she was too hungry. Instead, she didn't even bother with the jam, she ate them as is. She shrugged, it was just as good. Only messier. The knock on Jane's front door didn't surprise her, she'd been expecting Cece to stop by. It was common nowadays, because that was the only way she was going to get better at it.

"Hey, come on in." Jane smiled as she moved aside for Cece.

"God, this place smells like peanut butter." Cece wrinkled her nose. "I hate peanut butter."

"Then stay away from me," Jane chuckled. "I'm covered with it." She used the flow of her hands to show her stained shirt.

"Dear God," Cece pinched her nose for a moment then let go. "So, what were you up to?"

"Eh," Jane shrugged. "Just thinking and eating." And ruining a delicious peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

"Thinking about Dr. Isles again?" Cece smirked.

Jane looked at her before answering. "Why would I be doing that?" She asked, seemingly dumbfounded.

"Because..." Cece trailed off looking for clues in Jane's apartment. She found a trail of photos on Jane's wall that led to her bedroom. "Here." She pointed out. "You have..." She counted the photos. "Eight pictures here. Maura is in three of them."

"She's my best friend," Jane shrugged, unphased. "So what?"

"I'm not judging, Jane." Cece smiled, returning to the living room with Jane. "I'm just saying, it's a bit obvious how you feel about her. At first, I was a little jealous. Because I liked you so-"

"You like me?" Jane interrupted, surprised.

"Liked." Cece smiled. "Anyways, I was jealous. So, I thought as long as we weren't partners we could try something. But, then you asked to be partners and I couldn't very well reject you when I knew you needed me. Then I thought about the rumors I'd heard of the Doc and you. And I hoped they were true."

"What rumors?" Jane took a seat, presenting two glasses of juice to Cece. She each on either corners of the table, away from the papers that Cece had laid out.

"That you two were dating," Cece perfected each folder in front of Jane and herself. "You two never dated?" She turned to the taller detective.

"No..." Jane only wished they would. She'd loved Maura longer than she could remember. But, she was almost sure the doctor was straight. Now, knowing that the doctor loved her, knowing she missed her chance, Jane was unsure what to do with all of this information. She thought about confronting Maura but then that wouldn't end very well, considering Maura wanted nothing to do with Jane...so she thought. She thought about just asking Maura, or having someone else ask her like it was middle school.

"Well, shoot." Cece frowned. "I wish you guys would just get together already."

"What stopped you from liking me?" Jane thought about the small feelings she had for Detective De La Cruz at first. They were nothing compared to her feelings for Maura, but they were there. She soon got over them after their dinner together. It wasn't that Cece did something wrong, it was just that Jane realised she wasn't ready for anything. Not even sex. But, she wouldn't ruin her relationship with Cece like that.

"I don't know," Cece sat back, taking a file with her. "I guess I just gave up hope. I thought you liked me at first, but the distance you put between us after your mom said something about us always touching, just made me think you weren't interested and you wanted me to know that."

"I was interested." Jane admitted, quietly.

"I was interested, too." Cece flashed a smile then opened her file. Jane only smiled back but did the same. The two women shared thoughts on their cases, taking notes for themselves as well. Before Jane knew it, it'd been two in the morning and she and Cece had fallen asleep on her couch.

"Crap," She groaned when she shuffled in the papers. Cece remained silent next to her. The two women used each arm of the couch as their head rest. Their legs meeting in the middle. Jane could remember them laying that way to get mor comfortable. Cece's legs were tucked behind Jane. She didn't want the short woman to fall of the couch, so she took the edge. "Cece," She called in the dark.

"Hmm?" Cece stirred, unwillingly.

"We fell asleep." That much was obvious. "Come on, I'll take you to my room." She knew it was a bad idea for them to sleep in the same bed together. So she would take the couch.

"Hmm...no..." Cece groaned, sleepily.

Jane chuckled but grabbed the shorter woman's arm, even through protests. "Come on!" She almost pulled Detective Cruz off the couch. When Cece finally agreed, Jane half carried half walked her to the waiting bedroom. Jane only had a one bedroom apartment. She didn't want anyone to stay the night, so she didn't give them a chance. She had the perfect excuse. "I don't have an extra bedroom." She's say to her Ma and Frankie.

"Here, take your pants off." Jane stopped for a moment, chuckling at her words.

"God, at least take me to dinner first." Cece joked, her voice still dripping with sleep. But, she helped Jane with her jeans. Jane threw her baseball shirt to Cece. It was big enough to cover the other detective's body. Cece lazily fumbled with buttoning up the shirt. When she was successful, she all but fell on Jane's bed to go back to sleep. Jane smiled and tucked the honey-blonde in.

"Goodnight," She whispered before closing the door. On her way back to the living room, Jane stopped in the hall closet to get a blanket for herself. When she reached her long couch again, she shoveled the papers and dropped them on the coffee table. Jane stripped down. She kept her undershirt on and panties on, just in case something happened. She still loved like she was in fear of Charles Hoyt coming back for her. She was more in fear of his apprentice.

* * *

><p>Jane's POV<p>

"Jane Angela Rizzoli!" My mom yelled right above me. I jumped. I'd been having a good dream, so this actually pissed me off.

"What the fuck, Ma!" I was at my feet now, ready to argue my Ma down. "What are you doing here?"

"Can you explain to me why you're sleeping on your sofa in your underwear?" Ma was worried because of that? I couldn't help but let out a laugh. I'd thought she'd found Cecilia in my room. Was Cece still in there?

"Ma," I tried to calm myself but the chuckles were almost violent now. "You scared the crap out of me! Why are you here?"

"Because!" She pointed to my cell phone that had been on the coffee table. "I called you twenty times!" What an exaggeration. I picked up the phone.

"It's dead," I stated when nothing happened after I pressed the home button.

"Yeah, well that's not what I thought." Ma sighed, she was now organizing the papers.

"What did you think?" I bet it had something to do with sex.

"I thought _you_ were dead." Ma didn't look at me when she said this. It made me actually really sad.

"Ma, c'mere." I grabbed her arms from picking up the rest of the papers. I guided her around the table before taking her in my own arms. This seemed all too familiar and yet new at the same time. The hug was familiar, but it was new that _I_ was the one embracing _her_. That _I _was the one reassuring _her _that everything was going to be alright. "I'm so sorry, Ma." I whispered as I rubbed her back.

"I'm so afraid of losing you, Jane." Ma and I swayed for a moment. After she pulled away, I awkwardly stood there as she started cleaning again.

"Why'd you call me twenty times?" I asked from the kitchen as I started the coffee.

"Well," Ma stopped and turned to me. "I was wondering why you didn't come to dinner last weekend."

"Oh," I turned back to the coffee pot. How would I explain my feelings to Ma? When it came to Ma, I was just like Maura. I couldn't lie, at least not successfully. I could bend the truth. But, eventually, she would find out. "Disagreement with Tommy."

Ma looked at me for a moment with a smirk then her face turned to mock worry. I could tell her facial expressions, I've been studying them for thirty years. "Maura." She corrected.

"And Tommy." I put some bread in the toaster. "Trust me, it was mostly Tommy." And that was true.

"Is that because he likes Maura." She had returned to cleaning up again. I made a face, I hated when she cleaned my apartment.

"Actually," I could bend the truth here. "Yes it is. He'll just end up hurting her."

"Even from a distance you worry about that woman like _you're_ in love with her." Ma said with her back to me. I coughed. "What's back there?" She pointed to the hall.

"I think Detective Cruz is still here." I shrugged. "We worked really late, so I let her sleep in my room."

"How sweet," Ma pressed her hands over her chest. "Did you two sleep together? Or did you get into an argument and she kicked you on the couch?"

"For the umpteenth time, Ma," I said through my teeth. "She and I are _not _dating. That's just _extremely_ unprofessional."

"And being in love with Maura is professional?" Ma's question caught me off gaurd. I could only turn back to the coffee pot and toaster with a stiff body.

"How did you know?" I asked as I buttered the toast. I tried to keep my voice even and low, hoping I'd only imagined that.

"Jane," Ma's voice demanded me to turn back around. "Janie, I know you. That look in your eye, the look on your face, when anyone talks about Maura to you. I can tell that you miss her a lot. That's the look I get when I'm asked about Frank Sr." I made a face at Pop's name. "I know that you love her, Janie. I just wish you'd get over this thing that makes you think she doesn't love you back."

"I know she loves me back." I smiled.

"Really?" Ma stared at me, surprised. Then a smile spread across her face. I only nodded. She was going to say something but we head Cece coming from my bedroom. "Detective Cruz," Ma greeted with a gritted teeth smile. I smiled. She was upset that Cecilia interrupted our conversation.

"Hello, Mrs. Rizzoli." Cece had put her own clothes back on. "How are you this fine morning?"

"She sure sounds happy," Ma turned to me. She looked back to Cece. "I'm wonderful, how are you?"

Cece looked to me then back to Ma. "I'm good." She exhaled. "Jane, I'm going to head home. I'll see you at work." It was then that I realised it was still really early in the morning. I had to be to work by nine and it was only seven right now.

"Ma!" I turned to her. "You called me at seven in the morning to ask me a question you could've asked me at work?" Cece only laughed as she gathered her own folders. I could see her tiptoeing out.

"I was really curious!" Ma exclaimed. "It's not like you actually talk to me at work anyway."

"I talk to you." I could hear the guilt in my voice. Ma was right, I didn't talk to her at work. I didn't talk to anyone at work. "It's really hard to talk to you. You're always talking to or about Maura."

"Because she's so interesting, Janie." Ma was dusting. Why the hell was she dusting at seven in the morning?

"It's just really hard to listen to you talk about her." I stirred my coffee. "And when you're talking to her, its hard for me to talk to you because she like hates me."

"She misses you, Janie." Ma's voice sounded sincere. For a moment, I actually believed her. "You said yourself you know she loves you back."

"But, that doesn't mean she isn't still mad at me for what I did." I sipped the hot coffee, then regretted the decision because it was hotter than I'd expected. A mistake I made all too commonly.

"Trust me," Ma turned to me. "She _misses_ you." I smiled, involuntarily. Maura missed me. I couldn't help but wonder if she missed me as much as I missed her.

* * *

><p>Maura's POV<p>

"The rigor mortis is accelerated," I told Frankie Rizzoli. He was nothing like his sister, but then again, he was new at this. I had to be patient with him, but on this very morning, the first day of my period, I couldn't help but be a little emotional. I wanted to cry for the young girl I'd been kneeling over. I also wanted to be really pissed off I had to be kneeling in dirt.

"The what?" Frankie turned to me.

"Rigor Mortis." I said, carefully. "A few hours after an animal, humans included, dies, the joints of the body stiffen and become locked in place. This is called rigor mortis. Depending on the temperature and other conditions, the rigor mortis lasts approximately seventy-two hours. More specfically, what happens is that the membranes of the muscle cells become more permeable to calcium ions. Living muscle cells transport calcium-"

"I think I've got it." Frankie interrupted. "So...what accelerated his rigor tortis."

"No, a tortoise or well Testudinidae is a land-dwelling reptile. Often confused with a turtle or Testudine." I thought of the way Jane always called Bass a turtle. "What I was explaining, previously, was _rigor mortis_." I emphasized. I was going to explain the differences between the two, but Frankie sighed, heavily. "Okay, okay." I smiled, patiently. "The fact that we're in a sauna probably accelerated this. That will make determination of time of death a lot harder."

"Speaking of sauna's," Frankie pulled at his collar. "Is there any way to turn this thing off?"

"The word sauna is an ancient Finnish word referring to the traditional Finnish bath, as well as to the bathhouse itself. The oldest known saunas were pits dug in a slope in the group and primarily used as dwellings in winder. The sauna featured a fireplace where stones were heated to a high temperature. Was thrown over the stones to produce steam and to give a sensation of increased heat." I informed him. Frankie sighed, impatiently. "Okay, yes, go to talk to someone about turning the sauna off."

"Thank you," Frankie rolled his eyes. I knew he meant well. No one could take my random bursts of fun facts like Jane. Just because they were both Rizzoli's didn't make them the same person. I acknowledged that.

"Take this body back to the morgue," I told some of the interns. They all nodded.

"Hey, Doc," I heard from where the press had been standing. "Cause of death? How long has he been dead? Who do you think did it? Is Jane Rizzoli going to be working the case?"

The last question made me stop. "What makes you think she'd be on this case?" I turned to him. He nodded towards where my car had been parked. Jane had been leaned against the hood of it, waiting for me. The journalist had expected an answer from me, so he started to protest when I simply continued to walk away.

"This guy was so rich he had a bathhouse." Jane said as she watched the victim's body get carried away. "Now he's dead."

"He didn't necessarily had to be rich," I pointed out. "A cabin I have in The Keys has a bathhouse."

"Isn't Florida one giant sauna, itself?" Jane looked at me.

"Not technically," I smiled. "But...the humidity could probably make it count as one. You know-"

"Not the random facts, Maur." Jane groaned.

This made me chuckle. "I'm sorry," I opened my car door and dropped my bag inside. "What are you doing here?" I finally asked, getting to the point.

"I miss you," Jane breathed. She hadn't been looking at me, though. "And Frankie wanted my advice on this case."

"Ah," I was a little disappointed that was what brought her here. "I miss you, as well, Jane." I folded my arms across my chest as I joined her on the hood of the car.

"I thought you hated me." It was a statement. A statement deep from her insecurities. "That's why I stayed away." She turned to me. The wind pushed her hair away from her face.

"At first, I did resent you, terribly." I nodded. "But, lately, I've been thinking of how I should just be happy you're alive."

"That's what I've been telling you," Jane smiled. "Can we please be friends again?" The question seemed so juvenile but I couldn't help but swallow hard and nod.

"Yes, Jane." I looked up at her. "We can be friends again."

"Great!" She moved away from my car. "I have to go help them. But, Dirty Robber? Us? Tonight?"

"Dirty Robber." I agreed with a nod. "Tonight." I smiled. I knew that tonight would bring a lot of discussing and mixed with drinking, it would be a long and open night. I couldn't get my mind off of it all day. I couldn't stop thinking about Jane all day. Just before I was going to call it a night, I could hear footsteps entering the morgue.

"May I help you?" I asked as I exited my office, meeting Cece halfway.

"Yes," Cece made a B-line to me. "Can I come in?"

"Of course." I stepped aside. "What's this regarding?" I was sure I didn't owe her an autopsy. I'd been elbow deep in autopsies all day. I could hear Jane laughing in my head at the thought.

"Jane," Cece took a seat.

"What about Jane?" Had she sent Cece down to cancel our plans? How juvenile.

"I hear you guys are going to work on your friendship," Cece smiled for a moment. "I'm just going to say this." I only nodded, encouraging her to continue. "Jane is head over hills in love with you."

I smiled. "I know."

"Good!" Cece was standing now. "Because, I really want to see her happy, you know? And I really want to see her happy with _you_."

"Jane and I will discuss our personal life, tonight." I told her, trying to keep up with her movement but she paced so fast.

"You don't get it, Doc." Cece stopped, looking out of my office windows at the interns scrambling about. "She loves you. I don't want her to get hurt. I mean, if you want to be just friends then be clear with her on that. If you want to be more, then be clear with her on that, too. Whatever you want, just be clear with her. I don't think she can handle losing you again."

"You really care about her." I hadn't known anyone other than Jane's family and her old partners to care for her that much.

"Jane is like my best friend," She turned around to me. "I know you're her best friend, but I don't care about who's first in her heart. I just know that she means a lot to me. And, I want to see her happy."

"You're afraid I'll change my mind." It took me too long to understand what the purpose of this discussion had been.

"Yes." Cece nodded. "I'm afraid you'll realise why you left in the first place and that'll just break her even more."

"I can assure you, Detective." I tried to be as firm as possible. "I will not hurt Jane. I love her."

"That's all I needed to hear, Doc." She flashed a smile then she was walking out of the office before I could say anything else to her. I shook my head in disbelief, unsure if that had actually happened. I would need to see my therapist more than once a week.

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><p><strong>Let me know what ya think, please?<strong>


	14. LLBFFS

**Sorry for the wait. Hopefully the next few chapters will earn some forgiveness. As I stated before, the more reviews I get, the more frequent I'll update. **

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><p>Maura waited for Jane at their usual booth at the Dirty Robber. Maura had already expected her to be late, but she didn't know how late Jane would be. She looked at her watch for the fifth time since arriving, and sighed.<p>

"Hi," A man approached her table. "I saw you sitting alone." He took the seat Jane would be in. "I was hoping I could talk to you."

"Well," Maura looked at her watch again then out of the windows, hoping to see Jane approaching. "I'm waiting for someone."

"How about I entertain you until they get here," He flashed a smile. "I'm Guy."

"Guy," Maura chuckled. "I'm Maura."

"Haven't I heard of you?" He thought for a moment and Maura waited, patiently. "The shooting of the detective or something, right?"

"Something along those assumptions," Maura's smile faded. She wondered if that was how she would be recognized from now on.

"That's too bad," Guy feigned sympathy. "How is she?"

"Well she's meeting me here for drinks." Maura shrugged. "So, I suppose she's doing pretty well."

"That's nice." He smiled. "What do you do for the Boston Police Department?"

"I'm not sure you really want to know," Maura smirked.

"I can handle it." Guy assured. "Trust me, I have friends who have some pretty weird jobs."

"Medical Examiner," Maura breathed. She waited patiently for his reaction. She only hoped this would scare him off. "Chief Medical Exminer." She

"That's...different." Guy cleared his throat. "Can't say I've heard anything as weird as that, but hey, someone has to do the job, right?"

"Right." Maura agreed with a quick nod. She noticed Jane enter the Robber. When Jane noticed Maura and Guy, she could see how uncomfortable the honey-blonde had been. Jane was the only one who could read Maura's facial expressions. Jane watched from the bar with an amused expression.

Maura glared at Jane, who'd appeared to be oblivious. "I'm sorry, did you say something?"

"I asked if you'd like a drink?" He smiled. "I can call my friend over and he can keep your friend busy."

"Oh, hey, babe." Jane said as she took a seat next to Maura. She winked, hinting Maura to play along.

"Hi, honey." Maura smirked, turning to Guy. "Guy, this is Detective Jane Rizzoli, my..."

"LLBFF," Jane finished for her, quickly. "Life long best friends forever." She clarified. "So...yeah...best friends." She clicked her tongue.

"So?" Guy was unconvinced, not getting the point.

Jane sighed. "We're...partners."

"For the Police Department..." Guy said, slowly. "I know this. Look do you want my friend here or not?"

"Oh for the love of God," Jane said through her teeth. She turned to Maura and planted a soft kiss to Maura's lips. For a moment, Maura hadn't reacted, she'd been too surprised by the kiss. Then, her lips opened up as an invitation for Jane. The brunette got the hint, she slid her tongue inside the blonde's month. Both of them had forgotten the presence of Guy, but it didn't matter. Something in this kiss demanded their attention. Both of them demanded each other's attention. Jane's tongue traced an invisible pattern on Maura's bottom lip before she pulled away.

"Where'd he go?" Maura was the first to turn away and speak up.

"Don't know," Jane couldn't care less, or stop staring at Maura's lips. They were so soft and warm. "That was...uh...that was something else."

"Did you come here tonight planning to do that?" Maura turned to her, questioningly. She gazed at the brunette next to her, taking in her profile.

"No," Was all Jane had to say for Maura to believe her, but for herself it wasn't enough."I did it to make him go away."

"Okay." Maura turned to look at the other side of the table. The absence of the man seemed to incline to kiss Jane again, but then she wanted Jane to sit on the right side of the booth, like they'd originally planned. "Do you want a drink?"

"Uh," Jane chewed on her cheek. "Sure. I'll go get them." She was already sure she knew what Maura wanted, so she left without another word. "Great job, Rizzoli." She chastised herself, quietly. "This wasn't even a date. This was us trying to fix our broken friendship."

"You and the doc are friends again?" The bartender asked, eavedropping on Jane's private conversation with herself.

"Trying to be," Jane looked up. "Think I just ruined it." She slid a twenty dollar bill across the counter to him. "Can we get a couple of regulars?"

"Sure thing, I'll bring them buy in a sec." He smiled before he nodded off to another customer. Jane would've just waited, she would've used the excuse to stay from Maura but she knew she had to confont it. She knew they had to confront themselves before continuing their friendship.

"So," Jane took her regular seat in the booth, across from Maura. "How was your day?"

"Impossibly long," The blonde made face, that made Jane chuckle. "I couldn't stop thinking of why I chose this job. I have been often having these days."

"Same here," The brunette mumbled. She had the same feeling after going into missing persons. "So, how long have you known you...were into women?" Jane asked. She'd always known. There was never a doubt about it, but sometimes she had a thing with men.

"After you died," Maura said, hoping Jane would just leave the question at that. She wasn't sure if she was ready to confess all of her feelings just yet.

Jane wanted to ask her the most important question on her mind, the most important question that would ever mean anything to her. But, she decided against it. "How are things with Patricia?"

She laughed, nervously. "She broke up with me." Maura smiled. "A few weeks ago."

"I'm so sorry," Jane grabbed the hands that met her halfway. She wrapped her own hands around them. "Why?" Although she knew she'd already known the answer to that.

"Us," Was all Maura could say. It wasn't that she was hurt. It wasn't that she missed Patricia. She just didn't like that it'd taken her so long to get to moment with Jane. This moment of talking everything out. "Are we ever really going to be okay?"

"I think so," Jane tried smile. "I think it's going to take a while, I think it's going to be really hard and we're both going to want to give up at some points, but I truly think we can get things back to how great they were." Maura only nodded. For now, that was all she needed. That one day the two would be happy again. Even if that meant they had a lot of unhappy days ahead of them. She only hoped she could handle them all.

Jane and Maura retired at Jane's apartment, wanting to stay away from Angela. The two were half-cuddling half-sitting on Jane's couch as the two watched a sitcom that neither of them were even paying attention to. Jane's arm had been snaked around Maura's shoulders as the blonde leaned into her and rested her head on the brunette's shoulder. Maura's legs had been safely and comfortably folded on the couch, slightly stretched.

"That would never happen," Maura broke the silence.

"What would never happen?" Jane turned her attention away from the Jo Friday, who'd been asleep in front of the television.

"One cannot see ghosts unless there is something wrong with their mental health," Maura had been paying attention to the show after all. "I suggest they get that young girl checked out."

"I'll call in tomorrow to let them know their logic is all wrong." Jane's voice was filled with sarcasm, that Maura had missed. Maura simply smiled, pleased with Jane's idea. "It's getting pretty late." Jane looked to her watch. "Do you want me to take you home?"

"Heavens no." Maura had no intentions of moving. "Your mother has Vince over."

It took a moment for Jane to realize the meaning behind the words before she started gagging. "Oh God...Oh my God...Korsak and Ma? Oh! Ew! Maura!" This reaction only caused Maura to chuckle and giggle. "That's disgusting! And you allow them to...oh I can't even say it. OH MY GOD IT'S IN MY HEAD!"

Maura mocked disapproval before giving into her laughter again. "Jane, it's perfectly normal to have intercourse. Your mother is still human, afterall. Humans and dolphins are the only mammals to mate for pleasure rather to breed. Also, it's been almost a year since she's achieved and orgasm."

"How do you know that, Maura?" Jane all but screamed. "Wait! Don't tell me!" Jane's gagging returned, as she left Maura on the couch to herself.

"We talk about everything, Jane." Maura looked up, confused as to why _she _wouldn't know that. After Jane left, Maura sought comfort in Angela, who'd done the same thing in Maura. When Jane returned and Maura had let their relationship slip, after being comfronted, Maura has tried to make up for the lack of communication.

"Ma..." Jane gagged. "And Korsak." Her hoarse voice gave out on her. "I need to get my mind on something else." She used her tone to beg Maura to distract her.

Maura took the hint and stood to comfort her friend. "Jane, focus on me." She urged, forcing the brunette to look at her. Both of her hands were on each side of Jane's face. "Maybe you should follow your mothers lead and use help to achieve and orgasm."

Jane made a disgusted face, which made Maura smile. "I don't need anyone's help to do that, Maur."

"Oh?" Maura couldn't help but visualize the brunette in front of her, touching herself. "Do you masturbate, Jane?"

"God, Maur." Jane groaned. "You can't just flat out ask anyone about that."

"I believe I can, and I believe I just did." Untouched Maura said. When Jane didn't say anything, Maura pressed her hands harder against Jane's face. "Do you, Jane? Do you masturbate?"

"Yes." Jane finally said with a sigh. "I don't do it, a lot." She tried to explain. "There are just some days we have a really hard case, you know? I need to release my anger some kind of way."

"I understand." Maura knew when she returned home, and made love to herself, she'd be thinking of the detective touching herself. This made Maura excited to finally get home, feeling the pool of heat between her legs. "It is getting pretty late." She let her hands fall to her sides.

"You can take my bed." Jane smiled, stepping away from the blonde. She didn't know what else to do with herself. "I'll take the couch."

"Okay." Maura said with a smile before kissing Jane's cheek. "Goodnight, Jane."

"Goodnight, Maura." The two women parted ways, one going to the only bedroom in the apartment, the other going to get herself a drink of water. Jane was still haunted of thoughts of her mother with her old-partner. Thankfully, she didn't have to think of them in bed together, but what they're relationship had been like. Jane couldn't help but smile. Someone was making Angela happy, and someone was making Vince happy. She only wondered how her father would feel about this. Whatever his feelings were, they were irrelevant. He'd left Angela. He left Jane's Ma.

"Finally, all is right again." Were Jane's final words before she fell asleep.


	15. Investigation

Maura's POV.

Session #2

Dr. Wright stared at me, waiting for me to say something to him. I simply couldn't think of anything that had gone wrong this week. Everything almost seemed right. It was safe to assume I'd been feeling the effects of finally being reunited with Jane from the previous day, but it was also safe to assume I hadn't been because I knew just how more difficult things would become.

"So," He cleared his throat, prompting for me to speak.

"Jane and I are speaking again," I finally said. I'd hoped he'd remembered her. Of course he had, we spent a great deal speaking about her. "We also kissed at the Dirty Robber."

"Explain." Was all he said. It was so simple, something I could've expected, something I would fondly grow tired of in a matter of sessions.

"There was a male speaking with me at the Robber." I began as I started to pace. I needed to keep my body just as busy as my mind had been. If I were allowed, I would've reorganized his office. "When Jane entered, she'd watched us at first. Then, when he offered to call his friend Jane, she decided to finally intervene. We tried to hint that were were a couple, but he didn't get it. So, Jane and I kissed. When she kissed me, I hadn't expected it to become so...deep. At first it was just a peck on the lips, but her lips lingered on mine."

"And the kiss became more than both of you expected." He summed for. "Did the stranger leave? Or did you know this man?"

"No," I shook my head, only stopping momentarily. "I did not leave him but he did leave."

"So, what else happened last night?" This was a question I'd wanted to avoid. I wanted to lie and tell him that Jane and I parted ways, but lying wouldn't help me. I came to him for help. I had to do my part by being completely honest.

"We went to her apartment," I sat down on the couch across from him. "We watched some television, then I told her that her old partner was dating her mother. She freaked out, as suspected. Then, we discussed her sexual life. I told her she should achieve an orgasm, just as her mother had been."

He made a face. "You actually told her that?"

"Yes." I looked to him. "Should I not have?" Most women with good mothers loved to follow their mothers examples. I'd wanted to be as succesful as my social mother. "Anyways," I decided to move on. I had no time to be judged. "Jane confided that she masturbates, so she doesn't need a partner."

"Did that offend you?" He asked.

"Heavens no." I smiled. "It gave me something to think about." I thought for a moment, wondering if I should continue with my original thought. "I slept in her bed, without her, last night. In the morning, I stored one of her shirts that I know she never wears anymore, in my bag."

"You stole it." It hadn't been a question, just a simple accusation.

"No," I thought for a moment. "Stealing is to take something of another's property, dishonestly or secretly. I simply just stored it in my bag. If she called asking for it, I'd tell her I had it and refused to give it back."

"What if she asked you why?"

"Why what?"

"Why you wouldn't give it back."

"Because I want it." I shrugged. "Because, she's my best friend and I want something of hers. I want something to remind of her when she's not there."

"And, you would tell her this?" He seemed unconvinced.

"Yes." I nodded. "Would you prefer I call her and tell her this now?"

He chuckled but shook his head. "No, it's okay, Maura. So, how was your morning?"

"I stopped to get Jane a coffee." I thought about how to truly answer the question without stating my tasks from my agenda. "I did an autopsy. Young girl. Those always get to me."

"Why don't you have your other medical examiners do them for you?" He'd been multitasking, by writing something down and asking a question. "If they get to you."

"Because," I paused. "That's my job. It's my job to work on all types of bodies. I can't discriminate."

"It's not discriminating, you don't hate the young girls." He pointed out.

"Trust me," I decided not to argue, I knew the definition of discrimination off the top of my head. "It's discriminating."

"Okay, so what else did you do today?" He asked, sipping his coffee. Oh, how I'd wanted one so bad.

"I spoke to Angela, briefly." I picked at my nails. "We discussed Jane's birthday party."

"Jane doesn't seem the type to enjoy birthday parties." Dr. Wright thought aloud. "She seems like she'd dread it."

"She would." I laughed, quietly. "She knows her mother's throwing her one. She seems to know every year."

"Have you decided on what to get her?"

"No," I sighed. "I don't know what she wants. I wanted to get her a sleep coach. I also wanted to get her an hot hair balloon ride."

"That also doesn't sound like Jane,"

I frowned. He wasn't helping. "I don't know what to get her." I said, carefully. "I'm not good at this."

"I'm sure you'll figure something out." He shrugged. "No one knows her better than you, right?"

"Maybe." I couldn't help but think that it was true. I knew Jane more than anyone around her. Even her family didn't know her as well as I had, otherwise they wouldn't continue throwing her parties. If it were me, I would just take her somewhere I knew she wanted to go. I'd take her to the shooting range and put up a picture of Charles Hoyt. Let her relive the memory of finally killing him.

* * *

><p>"Excuse me, doctor." Maura said, as she answered her phone. "Isles."<p>

"Maura," Was all Jane said.

"Jane?" Maura checked her caller ID. She knew she should have started to check it before she answered the phone, but it'd just been a habit to answer without looking.

"It's Kyla Montgomery." Jane's voice was flat. "She's missing, Maur."

"I'll be right there." Maura's voice cracked. She knew that Patricia would be more comfortable getting questions from her rather Jane. Hopefully her feelings towards Jane wouldn't effect her participation to find her own daughter. Maura drove as fast as legally possible, when she arrived to her street. She could see the police cars blocking her own drive way, so Maura settled with a few homes down from hers.

"Glad you can finally join us," Detective Stevens said. "This isn't a homicide..."

"I live next door." Maura informed, ignoring his tone. He had asked her to dinner a few weeks ago, but it was when Maura had been dating Patricia. She simply told him that he was the wrong gender for her, and that she wasn't interested in dating a detective. He brought up Jane, which angered her, so she insulted his work and appearance. Ever since then, Stevens has been giving her a hard time at work. Now that she had Jane back, she would tell Jane to tell him to back off. She probably wouldn't have to tell Jane, she'd see the crude behavior from Stevens to Maura and say something without permission.

"Shouldn't you be dissecting a body?" He asked, following her into Patricia's home. "Queen of the dead, I asked you a question."

"I was sure that my job didn't bother you when you followed me down to the morgue to ask me to dinner." Maura snapped as she turned around. "Sure, I work on dead bodies. At least I get my job done. All of your cases have turned to cold cases, Detective Stevens. I'm surprised they even let you in on this case, with you on it, I'm sure Detective Rizzoli will have a difficult time."

"Maur," Jane grabbed her arm. "What the hell?"

"He insulted me." Maura spat. She entered the home without another word, letting Jane handle the rest. And that Jane did.

"What did you say to her?" Jane demanded, squaring up to Detective Stevens.

"Told her she shouldn't be here," He seemed unphased. "She's the queen of the dead, afterall. She should be working on a _dead_ body."

"She knows the family," Jane informed. "If you insult her one more ti- no if you _ever_ talk to her again, I can promise you, you won't be capable of ever talking again."

"Is that a threat?" He huffed his chest.

"No," Jane smiled. "It's a promise and a warning."

"Whatever." He rolled his eyes but Jane could tell her message was delivered. Detective Stevens walked away to probably go leak to the press about the doctor knowing the family. She would deal with that later, right now she had a job to do. When Jane entered the house again, she could see Maura consulting with Patricia. The blonde had been taking notes while comforting the other brunette.

"She's good," Cece commented, planting her feet next to Jane. "Somehow Patricia remembers a lot more than she thought she did."

"She's comfortable, now." Jane's eyes flashed over to the duo again before scanning the crime scene again. "Something's not right here." Was all she had to say for Cece to snap her gloves back on.

"What's wrong?" She asked as she snapped the last glove on.

"This looks staged..." Jane scanned the room. "I mean, I have no doubt that Patricia is innocent, but it just seems like this was laid out for us."

"How?" Cece looked around, trying to see what Jane could.

"It just looks like they wanted us to know Kyla was taken." She started walking to the young girls room. "Patricia said that Kyla was here with her babysitter, right?"

"Yeah," Cece followed. "She said she had to go into work."

"Patricia is a..." Jane only wished she could remember what the brunette did for a living.

"Real estate agent." Cece informed her. "And a damn good one. She got my sister a great house."

"Why is her room flawlessly clean?" Jane asked, looking at Kyla's room. "It's a Saturday."

"She had no school."

"Exactly," Jane started rubbing her latex covered hands over things, carefully not moving them out of place. She looked at her hands. "It's all dusted."

"That's really clean..." Cece did the same, making sure all of it had been that clean. "Why does a seven year old girl have a flawlessly clean room on a Saturday?"

"Even her bed would be unmaid." Jane commented. "Look, her desk looks like it hasn't even been touched in months. Surely she's had homework, right?"

"Maybe she does her homework out in the living area." The other detective prompted. "Maybe Patricia or Kyla has OCD has to make sure this room is clean."

"It can't be Patricia," Jane had been busy staring of the glass of water that had been planted on Kyla's nightstand. "She would've cleaned the crime scene before even calling us. It wouldn't have been up to her, just her mind. She wouldn't even be able to take it right now."

"Maybe it's Kyla." The blonde offered.

"Maybe." Jane wasn't sure of that, but she wasn't sure that it _wasn't _Kyla. She sighed heavily. "Where's the babysitter?"

"Prime suspect," Cece looked at the door. "She's downtown now."

"Let's go talk to her." Jane sighed. "She's our only hope, right now."

"Are you sure?" The smaller detective looked to Jane. "I mean, are you sure we're done here?"

"Not really," She started leaving the room. "Just make sure that no one gets in this place for the next twenty-four hours. I'll be revisiting a lot."

"Got it," Cece followed. "Make sure no one gets in here for the next twenty-four hours. I want squad cars here at all times."

"Okay, ma'am." The uniform replied. "No problem."

"Thank you." She flashed a beautiful smile before continuing on to follow Jane. She could see Patricia leaving with Maura, just as Jane had been getting in her car.

"I don't think she means anything by it," Cece was at her side of the car now. "I mean, I think she probably just wants to comfort her."

"What should I care?" Jane got into the car and Cece followed her in. "She can do whatever she wants. We're not dating. Just friends."

"But, that's not all you want." The smaller woman smiled. "I'm not sure why you just won't ask her out on a date."

"We _just_ started being friends again." Jane was backing out of the driveway now. "I don't think we're even considered best friends at this point."

"I think you guys never stopped." Cecilia had just started to buckle herself in. "I think if you two really would have needed each other, the other would have been there."

"I did really need her." Jane mumbled. "And she wasn't there." The rest of the car ride had been quiet. Cece tried to think of something to say to the taller woman. What could she say? She didn't know enough of the situation to even give her advice. All she knew was the two had a way of constantly hurting each other.

Maria York picked at her shirt, nervously. She knew that she was a suspect, but that didn't mean that she did it. She knew that she was just as much of a victim as Patricia had been. She'd been there when Kyla slipped from her care. She awoke with the seven year old gone. She didn't want to tell them that, they would definitely blame her. It hadn't been her fault. She didn't even know that she was tired.

"So," Jane smiled, trying to break the ice with a comforting smile. "How long have you known the Montgomery's?"

"Seven years," Maria said in a low voice. "I was like thirteen when I first started babysitting for them. That was when Patricia had been married to James."

"So, you're basically family to Patricia?" Cecilia asked.

"Basically." Maria shrugged. "She helps me and I help her."

"What does she do to help you?" Jane asked.

"She pays me a lot." Maria nodded. "I mean, more than most babysitters should get paid. It helps me with college."

"Where are your parents?" Jane wondered.

"That's another way she helps me." Maria shifted in her seat, uncomfortably. "When I was seventeen, I told my parents I was gay. At first, they didn't believe me. When I told them I was dating someone a few weeks later, they assumed it was just a phase. Then when I turned eighteen, I'd invited that same girlfriend to my graduation. They freaked out, I guess they realized I'd been serious. They told me as long as I'm gay, I'm not allowed in her home ever again." Jane and Cecilia could hear the hurt in this young girl's voice. They could even see it on her face. "I hear they're even trying to have another kid."

"So Patricia took you under her wing when your parents turned you away?" Cece asked. Maria only nodded.

"Where is this girlfriend?" Jane asked.

"California." Maria scoffed. She scratched her neck. "But, that's irrelevant. I promise you. I haven't talked to her in a year."

"What's wrong with your neck?" Jane asked noticing the young girl hadn't stopped scratching it.

"I don't know." Maria had realised the same thing. "It's just really itchy."

"Let me see it." She grabbed Maria's hand and pulled it away. "Oh God." She groaned. The young girl had a bad rash, due to the scratching. In the center of the rash there had been a tiny hole that looked like a dart shot. "Have you been hit by a dart, recently?"

"No..." Maria looked at Jane. "Why?"

"Get Maura in here for a blood test." Jane ordered to the guard, who'd been just standing about. Maybe Maria had nothing to do with Kyla's disappearance.

"You called me down?" Jane asked, pushing the door to the lab open.

"Yes." Maura had been staring at a piece of paper. "Maria York's blood contained high levels of Gamma-Hydroxybutyric acid." When Jane gave her a look she knew she would have to explain. "It's a naturally occuring substance found in the central nervous system, wine, beef, and small citrus fruits. It's an illegal drug in many countries, including the United States."

"Later that same day..." Jane mumbled.

Maura gave her a disapproving look before speaking. "If you've heard of Xyrem by Jazz Pharmaceuticals, this is it. It's been used in medical settings as a general anesthetic, to treat conditions such as insomnia, clinical depression, and nacrolepsy."

"Maria didn't come off as any of those." Jane pondered. "Well...her parents did disown her. That would definitely depress me. It would also turn me into an alcoholic."

"But, as I said before, the drug is illegal here." Maura countered. "It's very difficult to get that drug into this country. So, it wouldn't come in a liquid form. That means whoever shot her with a dart didn't infect her."

"Maybe it something to distract us." Jane paced. "It was a reason for us to look inside of her. But what caused the rash?"

"Oh," Maura pulled up another paper, handing it to Jane. "There were also traces of Acetaminophen. She's probably allergic to it."

"Someone shot her with Tylenol?" Jane almost laughed.

"Acetaminophen isn't just in Tylenol." Maura was going to finish her thought but Jane gave her a look. "Okay, I'm sorry."

"Where's Patricia?" Jane looked down at the paper again, biting her thumb nail. "I didn't see her in the deli."

"She's in my office." Maura had been cleaning up the mess now. "I suppose you'll want to ask her questions."

"She barely responds to me." Jane shrugged. "Cruz and Frost will be doing that."

"Ah," Maura stopped. "Why not me?"

"Conflict of interest." Jane said as if it'd been obvious. "Just because you get her to open up doesn't mean that we should just hand the entire investigation over to you."

"I didn't mean it like that, Jane." Maura murmured. "I was just stating that she's more comfortable when I'm there."

"This woman could've kidnapped her own child." Jane looked to Maura, slightly raising her voice. "And you want to hold her hand through it all?"

"Why would she have kidnapped her own daughter?" Maura hated when Jane concluded with assumptions.

"Maybe she didn't like having joint custody with James Montgomery." Jane pointed out. "Maybe she wanted all of the custody. Maybe she kidnapped her daughter, was planning to send us on a wild goose chase while she quietly slipped out the back door to go get her daughter and leave the country."

"That's ridiculous, Jane." The smaller honey blonde shook her head. "She said she was at work."

"She could've lied," Jane almost screamed. "So you'll believe her when she says she's at work but you won't believe me when I tell you I left to protect you?"

"Is that what this is about?" Maura clenched her jaw for a moment. "You two are still holding a grudge against each other?"

"No." Jane turned on her heel to leave. She stopped for a moment after a few steps. "I'm just saying, not everyone's like you, Maur. Not everyone has the ability to have a lie detector test built into their respiratory system." With that said, Jane left the honey blonde in her lab to think.

* * *

><p>Jane's POV<p>

There hasn't been a break in the case in three hours. On average, children don't stay a live after the first three hours. Piecing together this case is harder than we all thought it would be. Because my friends at the homicide unit don't have a current case, I asked them for help. We're all down in the deli, discussing suspects while Cece and Barry interview Patricia. I'm sure that Maura is there holding her hand.

"Her alibi checks out, Jane." Crowe informs me as he walks into the deli. I only nod. I knew it would. Patricia wouldn't be stupid enough to not have it check out. Of course it checks out. She's going to have the best working on this case, she better not have slipped up.

"If it is her," I start to say. "I only hope this little girl is alive and safe." They all nod, agreeing. "Jones, can you see if there's been any other kidnappings or break ins where all the perp left the rest of the house spotless instead of the living area?"

"Sure thing." She says before she leaves the rest of us.

"What?" I say when I see Vince staring at me. Ever since I joined missing persons, he's been looking at me really funny. I ignored it at first because I thought maybe he was just really mad at me for leaving him. Maybe he'd felt like I'd been abandoning him. First being assigned a new partner then leaving then coming back just to leave homicide.

"Nothing," He shakes his head and looks back down at his file.

"Jane," I hear Barry. "James is here."

"Okay." Here is a person I can interview. Unbiased. I didn't get his ex girlfriend to cheat on him. "I'll take this one." I say as I shove my file into Barry's frost as I walk by him.

"Patricia!" James calls to the crying woman as she leaves the elevator. Maura is there next to her, holding her hand. This makes me roll my eyes but I keep myself close to James. "How could you let her be taken, Trish? How? Why weren't you there for her?" He yells to her.

"I didn't do this!" Patricia is still reeling over being a suspect. "Maybe if you hadn't left us!"

"You made me!" James and Patricia are standing right in front of of each other, screaming. I grab his arm and try leading him into the elevators.

"James," I say to him. "You don't want to do this." He only ignores me. "James!" I yell. "Come on! She had nothing to do with this!" I didn't believe that, entirely, but I couldn't have them yelling at each other.

"Yeah," Patricia calms down. "For all we know it could've been him." She glares.

"Blaming each other..." I look at Maura. "Pointing fingers isn't going to do anything." My eyes are focused on James. I can't dare to look at Patricia because I just might start screaming her, too.

"Patricia," Maura says in her ear. "Come with me." And Patricia just nods and follows Maura. I watch them with a bewildered look. This makes me exhale and groan in frustration.

"Can you take him to the interview room?" I ask Barry, who's standing near us.

"Sure." He tucks the file under his arm as he grabs ahold of James, gently. I'm so upset that I can't possibly interview this man. I can't do it just yet. I storm off to the restroom, as quickly as possible. Are they dating each other again? No, I can't think like that. God, how could I have believed that I'd ever had a chance with her? I thought after last night, we'd have a good chance at working things out. Maybe I could have gotten her as more than a friend. But that idea, that thought, that dream, that hope, that wish is completely crushed none. I know I have no chance with her. I'm not as rich as her. I'm not as classy as her. I'm not her type, clearly. I'm just not good enough.

"God fucking dammit!" I yelled after hitting my arm on the first stall, walking past it. "Fuck!" I can tell I scared the woman that had been washing her hands. She hurries out of the restroom and I don't even apologize. I'm too pissed off to. I can say I've been known to jump to conclusions but how can Maura treat Patricia as if she's never done anything wrong? Definitely conflict of interest. She's never treated anyone like that before.

"Jane Rizzoli," I hear behind me. It's Ma. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

"What are you talking about?" I don't turn to her.

"Your arm is bleeding!" She yells, disregarding whatever she came in here to yell at me for. I look at my arm, and she's right. It's covered in blood. I look at the stall I'd walked past. There had been a piece of it broken off. I'd have to report that as soon as possible. Ma nearly misses the pointing piece as she rushes to me to aid my arm.

"It's fine, Ma." I tell her, moving my arm. "I'm fine." I say through clenched teeth. I can feel the pain more now. My arm aches, stings, and feels numb at the same time. I grind my teeth together when Ma ignores me and grabs my other arm, leading me into the deli. She had grabbed a few paper towels but that doesn't help the bleeding.

"You're going to need stitches." She says. "Sir, can you make sure the first stall in that bathroom is fixed?" She shows the Uni my arm. He nods, getting out his walkie talkie.

"Ma, I gotta go interview someone." I groan but she continues dragging me out of the precinct doors. "Ma!" I yell, planting my feet firmly on the ground. "I am not a fucking little girl, anymore! You can't drag me wherever you want me to go! I'm not five! I'm not six! I'm not twelve! I'm not even fifteen! I will not be told what to fucking do, anymore. Not by you, not by anyone. So, if you'll excuse me, I'll go to the hospital by myself. I don't need you to take care of me. I don't need _you_." As soon as I say all of those words, especially the last four, I regret them. I watch her face turn from worry to pain. I start to apologize but part of me feels like all what I said was true. I just didn't want to hurt her while saying it. I open my mouth but close it suddenly. Ma lets go of my arm and slowly walks back into the precint. I sigh, holding the paper towel to my arm.

I can hear Maura saying something but I can't actually make out what it is she's saying. The pain in my arm is becoming too much and I can feel Maura's hand on my back.

"I can do your stitches," She tells me, quietly. I expect her to yell at me for being so cruel to Ma, but something by the look on her face tells me she's saving that for later. I'm already in enough pain and she understands that. I nod and follow her back down to the morgue. Maura and I don't say a word to each other as she stitches me together. I just watch her.

"Fifteen stitches on your forearm." Maura says as she finishes. "I'll let your lieutenant know that you'll have to be relieved of this case."

"No!" I say very loudly. "No. I can't. I have to find this little girl."

"Jane, you're going to be in a lot of pain for the rest of the day." She informs me. "You're going to need _something _to help the pain."

"Anything I take will fog my mind." I sigh. "Let me work the case."

"No," Maura looks at me. "I can't. It's not about your well being. It's about how focused you're going to be on this case."

"It's because Patricia doesn't want me working it, isn't it?" I slip off the barstool. "Your stupid girlfriend doesn't me to find her daugher and you're using this as an excuse for me to go home."

"Jane..." Maura starts to say but she stops.

"You can't lie."

"She's really against it." Maura whispers.

"I'm trying to fucking _help_ her!"

"She doesn't trust you." Is all Maura has to say to break my heart. This wasn't about Patricia not trusting me. Patricia listens to Maura, all Maura had to do was tell her I was the best detective, even if that hadn't been true. Patricia must've asked Maura if she trusted me to work this case. Maura can't lie so she told her no. That's why Patricia doesn't trust me. That's why she wants me to go home. I look at Maura for a moment before I turn to leave. I don't even thank her for stitching and bandaging me up. I punch the elevator button with my other hand. I focus on the pain it causes because it takes away from the pain in my chest.


	16. Missing

When Jane returned to her apartment, she knew that she needed something to help her with her pain. She was too tired to realize that something's different about her apartment, after taking the Vicodin. Jane put the arm sling she'd received after shooting herself on, and relaxed on her couch. She fell asleep watching a rerun of a baseball game.

Six hours later, Jane woke up to a paid programming on her television. She quickly turned the TV off before going to her kitchen.

"Jo," She called out. "Come eat." She poured the food in Jo Friday's bowl, with her left hand. She was thankful that it had been her primary hand. As Jane padded the floor back to her living room to retrieve her glass of water, she couldn't help but think of how unbelievable Maura had been. Jane knew she was fully capable of doing her job. She knew that she could have found that girl a lot faster than some of the veteran detectives in missing persons. Back in her kitchen, Jane slammed the cabinet door shut, getting even more angrier by the moment.

"Why the hell are all of these arranged?" She looked down at the straws. They'd been color coordinated. "Ma!" She yelled, although she knew she was alone in her apartment. "She has to stop coming by whenever she wants, organizing my shit!" Jane's head snapped up, scanning her apartment. The thought occured to her that Angela had been at work all day. Jane's apartment had been organized, actually it'd been cleaned. She went into the small dining room and all the files from previous cases had been neatly stacked on her desk. She went into the living room and all of the pillows had been neatly in place. She went into the guest bathroom. It'd been cleaned.

Jane was back in the living room, grabbing her gun now. She made her way slowly to her closed room door. She turned the knob as slowly as possible, hoping not to disturb anyone if they'd been in her room. She pushed the door open before stepping in. The room had been clear. The room was clean. Jane's bed was made. She hadn't had time to make her bed. Truth be told, she never really made her bed anymore. It was more comfortable to just go into her bed as it was. She peeked into her master bathroom, noticing all her laundry had been neatly folded into her laundry basket.

"What the hell..." Jane put her gun done on her nightstand. Immediately she dialed Barry's cellphone number from her house phone. "Frost..." She whispered.

"Yeah?" He'd been a little irritated with her when he learned that she'd gone home. When Maura had informed him that Jane was forced to go home under direct orders, he felt guilty. Extremely guilty. "What is it?" He continued when she didn't say anything.

"Someone's been here..." She sat down on her bed. "Frost...someone's been in my apartment. They cleaned it."

"Maybe it was Angela?" He offered.

"Ma's been at the deli all day." Jane sighed, patiently. "I know this because she'd told me she wasn't going home unless it was with Korsak." She would've cringed at the thought if there hadn't been more important matters at hand. "Frost, someone's been in my apartment." She repeated, with more force.

"I'm sending a unit over there. I'll be there soon." He said quickly. "Go into a bathroom and lock the door."

"Okay." Jane mumbled before hanging up the phone. She grabbed her gun. "Jo!" She called out. The dog runs into her room, happily to be greeted by her own. Jane pointed to the bathrom and Jo obliged. She joined the dog a few seconds later, locking the door behind them. Jane climbed in the tub, safely placing the gun next to her. She scooped Jo into the tub with her and kept the dog held tight against her chest.

"It's okay, girl." She whispered. "We're going to be okay." Jo only whimpered, picking up on her owners fear.

* * *

><p>"Maura," Vince's voice is strained. Maura's head snapped up, something told her that this was important. Although she'd been working on an autopsy, although she'd been too busy in thought about Jane, something told her that this was more important at the moment.<p>

"Yes?" She said, her voice shaking with fear.

"It's Jane." Vince stepped foot into the morgue. "Someone's been in her apartment."

All Maura could see was a flash of the memory from when Charles had broken into her apartment when he'd escaped the first time. "When?"

"We're not sure." Vince swallowed hard, afraid of the wrath from the doctor. "She called Frost twenty minutes ago. They're there now, checking on her. I haven't back from him, yet."

"I should've sent someone home with her," Maura chastised herself, internally. "I should've told a Uni to make sure she's fine."

"She wouldn't have allowed it," He countered. "You know Janie. She would've refused."

"I should've sent her to my house." Maura had been taking off her gloves and lab coat. "I should've done more to protect. Korsak please tell me she's okay."

"I don't know." He whispered. "You can't forsake this body, Doc."

"This body will still be here when I get back." Maura grabbed her keys from her purse. "I've gathered all that I can for now. If I take more than an hour, I'll just call in Dr. Pike." Vince wouldn't have argued even if he'd wanted to.

"I'll go with you." Was all he said. Maura smiled, slightly, knowing she'd won the argument. Vince followed her to her car.

"Has anyone told her partner?" She asked, three minutes into the car ride. She wasn't above breaking the law today. This was the second time today she'd drove as fast as possible, without going above the speed limit. After the first three minutees, she was done driving too slow. She bypassed red lights and stopped signs without stopping. She knew it was unsafe, but she knew that Vince wouldn't have been against. There hadn't been any police cars that trailed behind her, if they had been, she would've simply told them that she was going to Jane's.

"Frost did." Vince breathed. He'd been a little scared for his life, but he had to trust the Doc. "She's there with him."

"Okay." Was all Maura said. When she reached Jane's apartment, she was proud of how important detectives were. The entire building looked like a crime scene. Immediately after exiting her car, Maura noticed Detective De La Cruz holding Jo Friday. That wasn't a good sign, but she wouldn't dare make assumptions.

"Frost." She had a hard time keeping up with Vince, he'd been walking too fast for her. "What's going on? Where's Jane?"

"We got here too late..." Barry had his eyes glued to the ground. He'd been too afraid to look at Maura. "She's gone."

"What do you mean_ she's gone?_" Maura demanded. _This can't be it. She can't be gone. I just talked to her! God, why did I send her home? This is all of my fault._ Maura thought.

"He took her." Detective De La Cruz spoke up, letting Jo Friday run to Maura. She'd been squirming in the detective's arms. "Left the dog." She added when Jo met Maura.

"Jane said he cleaned her apartment." Barry noted.

"She also noticed that Kyla's room was spotlessly clean." Cece added as she took off her gloves, feeling she didn't need them anymore. "There's a connection."

"All this shows," Vince started as Maura gave Jo to him. "Is that the perp has OCD."

"That doesn't explain why the Montgomery's living area looked trashed." Barry pointed out.

"Maybe it was a message?" Vince thought aloud. "Maybe he wanted us to see how out of order it was from the rest of the house. He wanted something to stand out."

"Just like he wanted something to stand out on Maria York's body." Maura thought aloud. "He shot her with a dart so we'd check her blood for something. He left the living area trashed because he wants us to investigate why."

"Just like he wanted us to investigate why Maria had been shot with a dart." Cece finished the thought, immediately understanding what Maura had been piecing together.

"So, what does Jane and Kyla Montgomery have in common?" Vince asked, although he'd already known the answer.

The rest of the ensemble answered. "Patricia."

"And what's the link between Jane and Patricia?" Vince asked, again already knowing the answer.

This time the two other detectives answered. "Maura."

"Me." Maura mumbled just as the other detectives said her name. "What seemed out of place in Jane's apartment?"

"Nothing," Barry shrugged. "He really did clean that place. More than Jane would have, I can tell you that."

"Okay, what was different from the last time you've seen it?" Maura tried again. Barry couldn't answer because the last time he'd seen Jane's apartment, it'd been filled with full boxes of her stuff.

So, Cece answered since other than Maura herself, she'd been the most previous visitor Jane had. "Other than the fact that the place was extremely clean. Jane left a glass of water on the counter."

"Was their a pill bottle any near it?" Maura asked.

"I think so..." She tried to recollect. "Frost, give me that camera." She pointed to the camera around his neck. She checked the pictures on the camera, hoping he'd taken one of the out of place glass. "Yes, there's a pill bottle a few feet away from it."

Maura stared at the photo. "Jane was taking Vicodin." She stated. "I told her to take something for the stitches."

"If she hadn't hurt herself, she would've had a fighting chance again this guy." Cece pointed out to the rest of them. "That can't be a coincidence."

"The UnSub wouldn't have been betting on her to hurt herself, though." Barry argued. "That was an accident."

"Taking Kyla from Patricia." Vince mumbled. "The connection to Kyla and Patricia is Maura, right? What's the one thing that upset more than anything? Who's the one person that upset her more than anyone else can?"

The group looked to Maura. "I didn't intend for her to hurt herself!" Maura defended.

"No," Cece groaned. "You're not getting it," She sighed. "In order for you to have hurt Jane, he made sure she saw you with Patricia. The way you were comforting her made it seem like you two were still intimate. Jane would've jumped to that conclusion. She loves you, so she wouldn't want to see you like that. And that would've hurt her, making her weak."

"And what better way to get Patricia back into your arms?" Vince asked.

"By taking the only person that matters most to her." Maura stared blankly at the camera. "But, how did he know Jane would hurt herself?"

"Jane does that," Frankie jumped in. He'd almost startled everyone. "Ever since we were younger, when she got really angry, instead of hurting anyone around her, she'd hurt herself in some sort of way. Whether it was punching a wall and fracturing a knuckle or kicking a big rock and breaking a toe."

"So this guy knows her from her childhood?" Cece interjected.

"No," Frankie shrugged. "I'm sure you all weren't surprised to find that Jane hurt herself because she'd been really angry." They all simply nodded. "That's Jane. She does that. This guy would just have to spend a few days with her to get that vibe. He was betting on her hurting herself so badly but not too badly to where she would be drugged up on the pain meds at home. If that plan didn't work, I wouldn't be shocked to learn he had another plan in mind."

"We need to get back to the other crime scene." Vince stated. "Doc and Cruz, you stay here to see if there's anything odd. See what he left different here for us to investigate. Frost and Rizzoli, you go back to the Montgomery's house. Check the living room, see what's missing, what's new. Both parties will take a lot of pictures. I'm going to go interview the Montgomery's and Maria York."

"We don't have a lot of time, Korsak." Maura reminded him.

"That's why we're all going to work as fast but thoroughly as possible." He said before walking away. Maura and Cece went up to the Jane's apartment just as they were instructed. Maura was greeted with a pair of booties and latex gloves. She hurried to put them all on, just as Cece had been doing. She was determined to find Jane. She would be damned if Jane slipped away from her again without telling the brunette how she felt about her.

"She's not dying until I tell her I'm in love with her." Maura said, aloud. She'd been specifically speaking to God if he'd been listening. If he existed, he wouldn't let Jane leave this earth until Maura told her how she felt. Until Maura was told how Jane felt.

* * *

><p>Jane<p>

_All I can feel is the world moving around me._

_ I feel..._

_ Lost._

_ Broken._

_ Cold._

_ Confused. _

_ Breathing is a limited_

_ Thinking isn't optional. _

_ Living is getting harder. _

_ I'm tired of fighting..._

_ Let me go. _

_ NO!_

_ I promised I wouldn't leave her. _

_ Maura, let me go. Please? It hurts. _

_ All I see is..._

_ Her. _

_ Black._

_ Her._

_ Black._

_ Her._

_ Bound hands, bound feet. _

_ Maura, let me go._

_ I love you._

* * *

><p>Jane's POV<p>

I can't see anything. I don't know if my eyes are covered of if I am so paralyzed I can't open them. The pain is excruciating. It's not just my arm. My neck. My hands. My stomach. My back. Charles Hoyt. Bobby Marino. Both are reasons for my scars. Whatever I'm in, wherever I am, I can hear nothing. I try to focus but all I hear is whistling now. God, whatever is going on, whoever is whistling, knows I hate that song. God, I hate that song. But, all I can do is sing it in my head. _Breakin rocks in the sun. I fought the law and the law won. I needed money cause I had none. I fought the law and the won. I left my baby and it feels so bad. Guess my race is run. She's the best girl that I ever had. I fought the law and the won. _The whistling stops, just as my world does. Now, we're not moving. I hear shuffling, the door opens then closes. A door closer to me opens then closes. Ouch, fuck! All I can feel is the ground moving beneath me. My body is crashing into sticks and rocks, I can hear them cracking and tumbling as I'm pulled over them. I try kicking my feet but nothing happens, the force doesn't stop.

"Please!" I finally found my voice. It'd been hiding with my pride. Now, it betrayed me. "Please, I'll do anything." I begged. Nothing changed. I was continuing to be dragged. I tried to calculate all the turns in move for when I planned my escape, but I couldn't, we were going too fast. Then we stopped. Just stopped. I could feel something poking me right where the bullet from shooting myself had left my body and entered Bobby Marino. I hadn't realised that the skin there was still tender if pressed hard enough.

"You killed him." A barely audible voice accused. "You killed him!" It screamed. I tried to focus on whether or not it'd been directed to me. I needed to be moved, I needed to see. My senses were betraying me. The only sense I had left was feeling, and everything hurt.

"He deserved to die." Another voice said. This voice was deep. Manly.

"He didn't have to die! He didn't do anything!" This was the voice from before. It was a woman, it was familiar. I could hear an accent.

"Shut up!" The man hardly yelled. The woman didn't say anything else. I tried to bring my hands to my face to remove whatever was covering my eyes but something stopped my arms in their tracks. I could feel a force on my ankles just as my arms had been stopped. Something bound my arms to my legs.

"Where am I?" I mumbled the quetion, almost afraid of being heard.

"Ms. Rizzoli," I heard the whisper, the voice was young. "Please help us." It begged, in the same vaguely familiar whisper. I wanted to tell them I wish I could save them. I began planning my escape. As soon as I was untied, if I were ever untied, I'd make a run for it. I'd grab the child and run. As soon as they uncovered my eyes, I'd scan to look for an exit. I would see who it was that was bold enough to take me.

"Remove the scarf." I heard the man instruct. I felt fingers fumble against my face. It was dark, at first. My eyes didn't have to adjust to much but the moonlight. I swallowed hard trying to focus on the face in front of mine. Their skin was darker than mine.

"Patricia?" I could see the scar just above her eye.

"Save her." She mouthed. I was trying to. I'd been trying to help her before Maura told her not to trust me. Maura. God, I left Maura. She's going to hate me. God, I'll never get her back after this. _Get it together, Rizzoli. Now it not thet ime to worry about that. You have to at least make sure you make back to her, alive. Maybe she'll love me again because I'll save Patricia. That's if you save, Patricia_. My internal battling gave off as a silence to Patricia. I could only nod to her.

"Who are you?" I demanded, my voice sounding more angry than I actually was. "Answer me, dammit!" I screamed.

"Christopher Hoyt." The voice was sadistic, proud, and confident. I'd been squared up at first, but I'd realised there hadn't been a chance in hell that I'd win that find. I sunk into the chair I'd been placed in. "You murdered my brother."

"You were his apprentice." I stated. "You weren't working for him in Chicago."

"No," I could see his teeth. "I actually hadn't been in much contact with him until he escaped."

"You two just so happened to like the same thing?" I tried to sound sarcastic, I tried to sound untouched by my predicument. "So, you both have the hots for brunettes?"

"_I_ have the hots for brunettes, detective." Christopher was closer now. "My brother had the hots for you."

"Your brother wasn't my type." I looked over to Patricia, who'd been holding something. Something that was trembling in her arms. Kyla? Kyla! She's still alive!

"I know," Christopher mocked sadness. "Dr. Maura Isles is."

"Don't you touch her!" I tried to move to get free, but I'd been bound so tight. "I swear to God, I'll hurt you."

"She'll be the first to figure out where I have you." He shrugged, retreating away from me. "I left subtle clues for her."

"Why?" I begged. Why would he hurt her?

"Eye for an eye, detective." Christopher spat. "You killed the only person I've ever cared about. My brother. We were inseperable until you locked him up."

"He never had a partner," I pointed out. "You couldn't have been working with him."

"I did at first," He was coming back to me. "Then I decided to branch out on my own. You pigs never really knew which murders were his and which were mine. I suppose I did mine a little differently than he had. I kept the bodies until they were completely decomposed."

"You sick son of a bitch!" I screamed, again trying to get free.

"I'm going to let you watch while I fuck your precious, Maura." He laughed slightly. I could hear Patricia's sobs in the corner. "Then, I'm going to kill those two. Then, I'm going to fuck her again. And finally, when you're begging for me to kill you. I will."

"If I beg now," I was sincerely already begging. "Will you spare them? Please? Let them go. I can hardly see your face, so I know they can't. Just let them go, please?"

"No." He smiled. "I have a reason for doing it this way. I want you to know this is going all to be your fault. You're going to be joining my brother, detective. You're going to be joining him in hell, where he's going to torture far more than I could have." Something in that sentence scared me. Maybe it was because there was a possibility of that being true. Charles Hoyt haunted me from the grave, there had to be a possibility of him haunting me while we're both in the grave.

* * *

><p><strong>You guys know the drill. If I can get at least twenty more reviews, I'll post about four or five more chapters before Monday. <strong>


	17. Uncertainty

**Important! From now on, anything that I mention that was from the second season from now on will have happened before Jane faked her death. Okay? Okay. Also, the next like four or five maybe a little even more chapters will be kind of dark. I tried not to get too much into detail about what Christopher did to Jane. And I think you guys earned a few chapters. Keep the reviews coming, please. Proposition time. For every five reviews I receive, that's two chapters you earn. Deal? Deal. K. Now read then review.**

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><p>Maura's POV.<p>

Detective De La Cruz told me she didn't notice anything. I wished I could have remembered last night more clearly, but I knew my memory would be fogged due to the alcohol I'd been drinking.

"Let's check her bedroom, again." I offered, although I'd already started towards her room anyway. Detective Cruz followed me, silently. "Detective, you need to beat answers out of me. Make me remember."

I could tell she probably took me literally. "Seriously?"

"Not literally, Detective." I almost laughed. "Just ask me questions as if you'd be asking a prime suspect who'd seen the victim last."

"Okay." She thought for a moment. "Was anything out of place when you were with her?"

"I don't know..." I looked around the room. "Her holster is normally in here. It's in the living room."

"Why would it be in here, doctor?" She demanded.

"Because..." I tried to piece everything together. "She didn't realize someone had been in here. Her gun is missing. That means that the UnSub has it."

"Who would want to take her, Maura?" Detective Cruz was standing right next to me. "Why would someone want to take Jane?" She asked, very loudly in my ear. "Why?" She yelled.

"I don't know!" I screamed. "Because she's Jane! Trouble finds her! Because she killed Charles Hoyt and never found his apprentice!" That last sentence stopped me. My mouth closed rapidly as the detective and I soak in what that meant. "His apprentice..."

She was already thoughts ahead me. She had her phone to her ear now. "Korsak," She breathed. "We think it's Hoyt's apprentice. Maybe he's been watching her this entire time. Waiting for a reason, waiting for the perfect time to strike." She nodded, although the sargent couldn't see it. "What?" Her face is straight, I can tell she wasn't believing what she'd been hearing. "Okay, I'll put a BOLO out for her."

"What?" I demanded, unsure if I'd really wanted to hear the bad news.

"Patricia Montgomery is missing." She said in a flat voice, staring at Jane's bed. She started dialing again.

"We need to get to Detective Frost." I said to her. She nodded as she followed me to my car.

"We need a BOLO on Patricia Ariel Montgomery. She's driving a 2011 Navy Blue Mustang." She stated.

"Wait..." I stopped in my tracks. "Did you just say 2011?"

"Yes," Detective Cruz had been returning her phone to her holster now. "I remembered that because I really like that car. Girl's got style."

"It should have a GPS." I told her, glad to finally have thought of something. "We can find where her car is."

"We won't get a warrant until the morning," Detective Cruz and I are driving to Patricia's house. "As you said before, Doc, we don't have that kind of time."

"I'm sure Frost will figure out a way." I assured her. "Call him and tell him to meet us at the precint." I made a complete u-turn, going towards the precinct, now.

"Doc," I heard from behind me. "I hear you need me to track where Patricia's car is?"

"Yes." I gave him some of the documents I'd found on Jane's desk. "This has everything you will hopefully need."

"Okay." He disappeared before I could ask him if there had been anything he'd found at Patricia's house. Before I'd started to worry too much, I saw Frankie exiting the elevators with his eyes locked on mine.

"What?" I turned Jane's chair fully to him.

"I went over to your house to check up on Ma," Frankie said, sadly. "I found this." He dropped a piece of paper that had been attacthed to a small rock with a rubberband.

"Did you give this to the lab?" I asked him before picking up the rock. I didn't want to touch and get my own fingerprints all over it.

"Not yet." He sighed. "I wanted you to see it. It doesn't make any damn sense to me, but I figured you would know what it means." He looked defeated, as if he'd tried to figure out what it meant the entire way over here.

"I need gloves." I told him, staring at the rock now. "Can you go find me some?" He nodded and left to search for the gloves. I tried to read what I could make out on the paper already but it didn't do any good. The words didn't make any sense. All I could make out was the letter L. When Frankie returned with the kit I would need to check for finger prints and a pair of latex gloves, I thanked him with a slight smile.

"I hope there's something on here." He sighed, picking at his own gloves. I wondered if he'd kept those on the entire time. I hoped he had. "We need to find Janie and that little girl."

"I know," I said as I unfolded the note from the rock. _A temporary home somewhere that desires a lock. Ten miles west of Utah soil. Finnish the bathhouse. Her heart is beating just for you, Doctor. Your best friend is begging for you. She's waiting. Save her. _

"What the hell does it mean, Doc?" Frankie asked, breaking my thoughts. I wanted to snap at him to tell him to shut up so I could think but I knew that wouldn't do either us any justice.

"Somewhere that desires a lock." I said aloud.

"What would desire a lock?" He looked at me, adjusting himself on Jane's desk. "Maybe something important?"

"The way he says Finnish the bathhouse," I could remember the conversation I'd had with Frankie on Finnish bathhouses. "Remember the basketball player we'd found in his bathhouse?" I turned to him. He was setting up the equipment.

"Yeah," He let out a small laugh. "You were going on and on about the history of them."

"I have a bathhouse in The Keys, next to my cabin." I dusted the piece of paper. "It's not finished."

"So...he's taking her to your bathhouse in The Keys?" Frankie questioned. "Do you think that Patricia is with him? Maybe they're using her car."

"Her car isn't big enough to hide a grown woman and a prepubescent girl." I pointed out. Frankie only nodded because he'd been too busy blowing on the paper. "They'll need at least a van for that. Jane wouldn't stop fighting."

"I tracked her car," Barry called from the elevator. "It's a mile south of the Beacon."

"We need to get there." I told Frankie.

"I found a print!" He almost yelled. "It looks like a thumb print. I'll check the database. You guys go to the car."

"Okay," I didn't bother waiting for him to say anything more. Barry had been holding the elevator doors open for me. As soon as I entered them, he pressed the button to close the doors.

"Korsak and Cruz are already on their way there." He informed me. I only nodded. When Barry and I arrived to the car, I could tell the only news I'd be getting was bad.

"This car is clean." Vince told me, taking his gloves off. "Literally."

"No signs of struggle?" I asked, getting a pair of gloves from a Uni that had been standing by.

"None." Detective Cruz sighed.

"Okay," I sighed as I inspected the car for myself, hoping to find something they'd missed. "There's always something he wants us to look through. Let's look at this from the point of view that Patricia isn't apart of this."

"He somehow got her away from the precinct," Barry pointed out.

"She wouldn't have left unless she trusted him." Vince added. "Even if he promised to give her Kyla, she would've warned us."

"What if he ordered her not to involve us?" Cecilia asked. "I know if someone took my little girl and told me not to involve the police, I wouldn't."

"Look at the way this car is parked." I told them all. I stepped away from the car, examining it. "It doesn't look like it was carefully parked here. Everything he's done, has been careful. He would've carefully parked this car here because he would've known he had the time to do it."

"It looks like he didn't have the time to park it. Like he thought we'd be coming after him." Cecilia started taking photos of the parked car, now.

"But, he had time to flawlessly clean it?" Barry interjected.

"Maybe he didn't drive it here." I stated. "Did you ever interview Maria?" I asked Vince.

"Yeah," He nodded. "Why? What are you thinking, doc?"

"Did she say anything about eating or drinking something before getting really tired?" I asked.

"She said her morning with Kyla was normal." Vince shrugged. "She made them breakfast, they watched a movie, then the next thing she knew, she was waking up with Kyla gone."

"What did she make for breakfast?" I couldn't tell what the link between that and Jane had been but I was sure I would figure it out soon.

"Something with fruits," He mumbled. "I can't really remember."

"That's how he got to them." I swallowed hard. "Gamma-Hydroxybutyric acid is found in citrus fruits. Jane was taking Vicodin, he could've switched them with Xyrem. If she'd been in pain, she wouldn't have looked at the pills to check if they were the right ones. Afterall, they were in the Vicodin pill bottle."

"I think I noticed Patricia taking a bottle of pills out of her purse earlier, when she'd been looking for a good photo of Kyla from her wallet." Cecilia said, unsure of herself.

"Those are her anxiety pills." I said, without thinking. Then, I thought for a moment. "Those _were _her anxiety pills." That was how he'd been getting to all of them. "Give me the camera." I reached to Cecilia. She obliged, very willingly. I looked through the photos. On the table, where Jane's holster had been, there'd been a ring of condensation about the size of Jane's glass of water.

"She took the pills when she got home." Barry stated. He'd been looking over my shoulder at the photos with me. "Then she took more when she woke up. When she called me, she sounded really tired. Like she'd been struggling to stay awake."

"He waited for her to call you." Vince revelation was voiced. "He wants us to find him."

"He wants _me_ to find him." I'd been referring to the note. "The note he'd left on my porch."

"What did it say?" Cecilia asked.

"_A temporary home somewhere that desires a lock. Ten miles west of Utah soil. Finnish the bathhouse. Her heart is beating just for you, Doctor. Your best friend is begging for you. She's waiting. Save her._" I cited from memory. "Frankie and I decided that he's talking about my cabin in The Keys. I have an unfinished bathhouse. We realized that because in the note, he's talking about Finnish bathhouses."

"He knew you would know what he was talking about." Barry stared blankly at me.

"What did he mean about ten miles west of Utah soil?" Cecilia's voice had been shaking.

"I'm not sure," I frowned. "I haven't figured that part out."

"Doc, just so you know, you're not going anywhere alone." Vince informed me with confidence. I only nodded. I hadn't been planning on it. There was no way Jane and I could help Patricia and Kyla escape. I wasn't physically strong enough and capable of doing that like Jane had been. But, Jane was drugged, so I would have to rely on myself to get us all out of there. I could feel my phone vibrating in my pocket.

"Isles," I said without looking.

"I got a match from the print." Frankie's voice startled me. It wasn't that it had been loud, it was that it sounded hollow. It was missing depth. It was empty. "You're not going to believe this, Maura."

"What is it?" I demanded, impatiently.

"It belongs to..." He waited for a moment. "It belongs to Christopher Hoyt." I felt the phone slip from my hands. Then I couldn't feel or see anything after that. I didn't know if I'd gone into cardiac arrest or if I'd been having a panic attack. I didn't know what had been happening, I just knew that I couldn't breathe. I knew that I couldn't move. I knew that I couldn't see anything. I knew that I couldn't feel anything.

When my senses finally returned, I could see Vince above me. "Doc!" He called, trying to get my attention.

"Christopher Hoyt." I repeated, my voice missing depth just as Frankie's had.

"We know," Vince grabbed my hand, pulling up to my feet. I felt an extra pair of hands try to help steady my planted feet on the ground. "Frankie called me after you dropped your phone."

"He has a brother?" I demanded. How did not know this? How did Jane and I not this?

"No one knew much about him, Doc." Vince defended, patiently. "We tried to get ahold of him but there wasn't much to go off of."

"God," I felt my knees shaking. "I need to sit down."

"Here." I saw Barry move in front of me before putting his hands on my hips. He lifted me onto the back of Patricia's car.

"Ten miles west of Utah soil." I repeated from the letter, trying to refocus myself on the case.

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><p><em>"It's good for you." I informed her with a smile. <em>

_ "Taking a dirt bath," Jane paused for a moment. "Seems sort of...I don't know...unhealthy." She said with slight sarcasm. I turned to her, smiling. God, how I loved the way she could turn a simple sentence into a joke. _

_ "It's clay, not dirt." I told her. "Seventy-five percent American Colloid. HPM-twenty. And twenty-five percent Western Bentonite. From Utah." I said, unphased by her bad mood. _

_ "Oh, It's from Utah." Jane mocked. "Well why didn't you say so?"_

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><p>"The spa!" I said, aloud, returning from my reverie. "Ten miles west of the spa! Remember the case we had with Tracey Kelly?"<p>

"Yeah, with the nut job nurse?" Vince asked.

"Precisely." I nodded. "I took Jane to the spa as a gift when Tracey was brought to us when she'd been bleeding out. I told her that we weren't lying in dirt. That we were lying in Amercan Colloid and Western Bentonite." They all looked at me with blank expressions. "Utah clay!" I almost yelled.

"How would he know that you two were there?" Detective Cruz asked, politely.

"We have pictures." I looked around for the camera. I didn't even have to ask for it this time, it was being handed to me from Vince. "Look!" I showed them the first photo. "The picture that's on her wall. That's from the spa the second time we went."

"He knew you would know that." Vince said, mostly to himself. I figured we were beyond what the UnSub would and wouldn't know about us. I thought we'd all just agreed that he knew almost everything about us.

"He's betting that you'll go alone." Barry said. "That's how he'll trap you."

"We need to act fast." Cecilia was taking the camera from me now. "We need to get there _now_."

"I'll call Cavanaugh." Vince agreed with a nod. He was walking away now, and Barry had been trailing behind him. This left Detective De La Cruz and I alone.

"We'll find her." She assured me with a firm voice and a tight nod.

"I know." I tried to smile. I was just afraid of what condition she would be in when we found her. Whether she'd be alive or dead.

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><p>Maura followed behind the four detectives that had been important to the investigation of Jane's disappearance. They'd met Christopher's van three miles into the silent hike. When they'd been close enough to where they were sure they could see the cabin he'd been keeping them in, all four of them turned to Maura.<p>

"You're going in first," Vince told her. "We need him to think that his plan worked."

Maura looked mortified. "I can't! He'll kill me!" She yelled as quietly as possible. "Korsak, don't make me do this alone."

"Doc!" He demanded her attention in a whisper. "Listen to me! You have ten cops, five swat guys, and four detectives protecting you. I promise you, you are not alone."

"What if he kills me before I can call for help?"

"You won't have time to call for help before we're already in there." Barry assured her. "Now, go as quietly as possible." They all made room for her, but following behind her closely. When they'd been close enough to hear Jane yelling, they stopped, letting her go further alone. They waited until she was three minutes away until they started up again.

"Christopher," Maura called out. "Christoper, It's me, Maura." She held the gun just like Jane had taught her to. When she heard footsteps, she quickly put the gun behind her in the waistband of her pants.

"Ah," Christopher Hoyt opened the cabin door, greeting her with a smile. "Doctor, I knew you'd come."

"Maura!" Jane screamed. "Run! Run away!" She begged, screaming as loudly as she could, unsure if Maura had really been standing there. "Please go! Run!"

"Now Jane," Christopher said with a disapproving tone. "Is that any way to treat our guests?" He drove the taser into her back.

"Jane!" Maura screamed, trying attend to the brunette. Christopher grabbed ahold of her hair and pulled her back.

"Hey, now." He said, his voice was mocking. "Jane here has been a very bad girl."

"Please..." Patricia begged. "Please, just let us go!"

"Patricia..." Maura whispered. She couldn't see the brunette but she could hear where she'd been in the room. "Patricia, everything's going to be alright." Maura reached for the gun that had been waiting for her.

"If you're reaching for that gun, Doc." Christopher had the taser to Jane's neck. "I'll do it again, I swear."

"No, please!" Maura's hands fell. "I'll do whatever you say, just stop hurting her." She could hear Jane's sobs more than she'd heard Patricia's.

"Take your clothes off." He instructed. Maura nodded, trying to hold her sobs in. She couldn't cry now. She had to be strong for Jane. She had to be strong for Patricia and Kyla.

"Jane, I love you." Maura said, loud enough for the detective to hear. She'd been hanging from the ceiling, on display. "I've always loved you. It's always been just you. God, Jane, I'm so sorry." She'd been slowly peeling her jacket off of her body. "I'm so sorry I couldn't tell you before."

"Maura, it's okay." Jane tried to soothe. "It's okay." Her words were barely audible, so low, they hadn't even make it to Maura's delicate ears. She shook her head, unwilling to see Maura strip. She couldn't see Maura step into that trap.

"What the hell?" Christopher yelled, backing away from the two. His hands had been tangled in Maura's still. He dragged her with him when the four detectives and swat entered the cabin. "I'll kill her!" He told them.

"Give it up, Hoyt." Vince was searching for a good shot but came up empty. He wouldn't admit that to Christopher, though.

Realizing he was trapped, Christopher Hoyt grabbed Maura's gun from her pants. "No!" He pointed the gun to her temple. "I'm not giving up! My brother never gave up! Neither will I!"

"Look where your brother is now, Chris." Vince told him. "He's dead. You will be too if you don't release her."

Chris thought for a moment, but the thoughts hadn't been good enough. "None of you have a clear shot. Otherwise, you would've killed me by now." He noticed Jane had been shielding him from most of them. Jane's legs wrapped around his neck, locking in place. Before he had time to register what had happened, Maura wrestled the gun from him, distracting him enough for Jane to twist her legs with all the force she could muster up.

Christopher Hoyt was dead.


	18. Aftermath

"We decided you should see her." Frankie told Maura. Two of three rape kits had come back negative. "She's important to you."

"Are you sure?" Maura glanced, asking the question to really all of them. She got various nods and slight smiles from them. She sighed and turned to follow the doctor.

"She's been a little out of it," He warned her just before they entered the room. Maura nodded with her head still down. She stared down at the brunette on her bed. Brown eyes stared back at her.

"I'm so sorry, Patricia." She felt her tears threatening. "I never meant to get you and Kyla involved in this."

"Did he..." Patricia had been unable to finished the question.

Maura knew what she'd been asking. "No...he didn't touch her that way. She's fine, actually. They're comfortale with discharging her tod-tonight." She corrected, glancing at the clock on the wall.

"I can't go home, yet." Patricia swallowed, painfully. "It hurts."

"I know." Maura brushed the dark hair behind her ear. "I love you."

"I know." The brunette smiled slightly. "As your friend." Maura nodded. "Thank you for saving my life. Thank you for saving my daughter."

"It was mostly Jane's doing." Maura took the seat next to Patricia. "I understand if you don't want anything to do with me, anymore."

"When he took me..." Patricia swallowed. "There had been an innocent kid walking by. He...he killed him. The kid couldn't have been any older than nineteen."

"How did he kill him?" Maura asked, knowing the case hadn't been entirely closed just yet.

"Stabbed him." She clenched her jaw. "Then when I woke up...he hadn't been there. He had Kyla and I tied up. All I could think about was how grateful I was that she'd been still alive. How I took her family from her. James and I...we were happy together once. We were her family."

"You're not in love with me." Maura inquired.

"I thought I was." Patricia closed her eyes. "I thought I would follow you until the end of the Earth. It's not you, Maura. It's _him_. It's James."

"Good." This relieved Maura. She knew that Patricia had stayed away from her because of the feelings that lingered between them. After her own realisation of her feelings for Jane, she had no feelings for her neighbor anymore. She only hoped that Patricia could have just moved on. Hearing this made her slightly happy. Only slightly.

"I don't want her to see me like this." Patricia whispered.

"James is with her."

"I don't want him to see me, yet." She begged. Maura understood why. It looked as if Christopher Hoyt had used Patricia for batting practice. Jane looked worse. Because she'd been the actual game.

"They'll be staying at his place," Maura informed. "Kyla is safe, Pat."

"That's all I want." Was the last thing the brunette said before falling back into her slumber. Maura kissed the only part of her face that hadn't been bruised. It was near her hairline. "Sweet dreams." She whispered the small prayer before leaving. It was time to see Jane. The one that had gotten it worse than the two others. He'd truly tortured her. Tasing, beating, stabbing, and raping. The thought of all the things he'd done to Jane brought Maura to heavy tears that fell swiftly from her cheeks. Her shirt had been stained before she had actually made it to Jane's room.

"Maura," Jane greeted with a quiet voice. The honey blonde closed the door behind her, giving them privacy.

"Hi," She tried to smile through her tears. "I'm so sorry, Jane. I shouldn't have sent you home unprotected."

"Don't you dare blame yourself for this!" Jane snapped. "He would've gotten to me somehow. It wouldn't have been as fun for him, but he would've gotten to me another way."

"I made it too easy for him." She grabbed Jane's bruised right hand. "I'm still very sorry."

"Did you mean it?" Jane asked, ignoring Maura's apology. "When you said that it's always been me. Did you mean it?"

Maura nodded. "For as long as I can remember, it's been you." She felt more tears escaping her eyes. Jane reached up, letting go of Maura's hands, wiping the tears away with a trembling hand. The hand fell back against the bed.

"I'm so tired." Jane whispered. "I almost let go."

"Why didn't you?" Maura wiped the rest of her tears away.

"I knew you would never forgive me." Jane's voice had been barely audible. Maura felt a fresh wave of sobs hit her. She waited for Jane to fall asleep before she cried, bringing Jane's hand to her face. Had Maura made it that easy for Jane to think such a thing of her? This hurt her more than Jane would have thought to. But, it didn't matter. None of it mattered. Jane was safe. Her Jane was safe.

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><p>Two Weeks Later.<p>

Jane's POV

Session #5

"How's your healing progress?" Dr. Hardwick asked me, deciding to change the subject from my father. He hadn't even called to see how I'd been doing. I got a call from him the day after I'd been discharged from the hospital, and that was it.

"Doctors say my scars won't be so noticeable." I sighed, looking at the visible ones. "Everything still hurts. I try not too focus on it too much."

"You'll be hurting for a while." She frowned.

"I know." I dropped my hands. "I see them both now. I can hardly see Christopher's face because it'd been so dark, but I remembered a photo of him I'd seen in the paper the day they'd let me go."

"How much sleep are you getting?" She asked, writing something down.

"I'm not sure," I tried to mentally calculate if I'd even been getting real sleep. I mean, I slept, well my body did, but I felt like my mind had been awake and thinking the entire time. Although my body was resting, I'd been conscious the entire time. "I sleep better when Maura's there."

"How are things with Maura?"

"Slow." I laughed humorlessly. "I feel like she's my caregiver rather my girlfriend."

"So, you two are a couple now?" Dr. Hardwick smiled.

"I think so." I felt my face change. "I mean, I hope so."

"Maybe you should talk to her about it." She suggested. I shook my head. "Are you afraid she'll tell you that you two aren't dating?"

I nodded. "And that as soon as I'm better, she'll pull away from me again."

"Why haven't you talked to her about this?"

I shrugged. "It's one of those talks I'm afraid of having. I don't want her to leave me. I need her."

"Tell me about the nightmares, Jane." The doctor's voice had been calm. Soft.

"They're both there torturing me." I tried to avoid eye contact with her. I felt more comfortable when I didn't have to stare her in the face. Like I didn't have to lie and tell her everything was fine. "They're not dead. They're both doing to me what they would've done if Vince hadn't interrupted them."

_"Please!" I scream, hoping that both can hear me over my own sobs. Maybe I hadn't said it loud enough. If they were going to continue to do this all night, I just needed a break. I can feel the blood dripping my neck to my breasts, then I feel a hand on them, rubbing the blood away. _

_ "I can just lick you." Charles says. Christopher laughs as he whips me again. I yelp, trying to hold in the pain. I know it's useless by now, but that's all I can do. It's all I can do to feel human. To feel like myself. Ignore the pain. _

_ "You sonofabitch, Charles." I say through my clenced teeth. They've got me hanging, I can't even move my arms. I just know they're in a lot of pain. I don't have the energy to fight back with my legs, anymore. I did at first, but that was when the brothers stayed a great distance away. _

_ "I want the doctor." Chris says to Charles. "May I have her?" _

_ "No!" I scream. "Don't you fucking touch her!" _

_ "She's all yours, Christopher." The way he says his brothers name is almost as if he's proud of his brother for getting me here. For doing what he would've done. _

_ "I'll be right back." Chris says then he stops hitting me. I sigh in relief, but I'm left here with Charles. I don't care what he'll do to me. I'd gladly take it as long as they leave Maura alone. _

_ "Please," I beg. "Please just punish me. She didn't do anything." _

_ "This isn't a punishment, Jane." Charles is behind me and his lips are on my right shoulder. I don't know what to say. I don't know what I have left in me to save her. _

_ "No!" I hear her screaming. "Please!" She begs. I try to turn to see her, but all I can hear is her fighting against him. I want to smile because she's fighting so hard but I know she's not going to make it out of here. Neither of us are making it out of here alive. _

_ "I've had Jane," Chris says to her. "My brother let me have her just as he had." _

_ "Oh God," She sobs, still trying to get away from him. "Jane!" She wants to know that I'm still alive. Am I unconscious again? It's been happening a lot. I slip in and out of consciousness. "Jane, please!" I can't tell what she's begging for. Maura, I can't save you. I try to say. Maura, I want to save you! But the words are silent. Somehow they both tackled her to the ground, I can hear them ripping her clothes off. I feel something in me shaking, moving, burning its way out. _

_ "NO!" I screamed as loud as I could. I try to swing myself loose of the shackles that have me hanging, but it's no use. They're just too strong. I can't shoot myself to get out of this. I can't grip ahold of one of their necks with my legs. I can't fight my way to a gun with a taser as protection. Vince isn't here to save me. Barry isn't here to back him up. Frankie is safe at home, worrying. Ma is doing the same. They don't know that we're not going to make it home. I can hear Maura screaming for them to stop._

"I keep hoping that Vince will save us, but eventually I give up hope." I felt empty. All of the scars began to hurt again. I couldn't ignore the pain now.

"He saved you from both of their hands?" She asked, glancing down at her notes.

"Yeah," I rubbed my left palm. "The very first time I'd run into Charles Hoyt. Then when Christopher had me."

"He was also there to save you from Bobby?" She questioned.

"He didn't save me." I snapped. It was true, he hadn't saved me. He didn't take the shot, none of them did. Maybe if someone had just shot him somewhere, anywhere. I could have gotten out of there without a scratch on me. I probably wouldn't even be here right now. "I saved myself." I nodded, completely sure I had been right.

"He tried to save you, Jane." Her voice was soft, trying not to argue. It wasn't an argument and it would never be. Even if he had tried to save me, he didn't. Him nor Barry saved me.

"Okay." Was all I said, just because I didn't want to talk about it anymore. Dr. Hardwick nodded then wrote something down.

"How is your mother handling all of this?" She looked up to me.

"I think she's trying to stay strong for me." I could finally look at her again, but it didn't last long. "I know it's hurting her. I know looking at me hurts her. So, I told Maura I didn't really want any visitors."

"Maura's okay with that?" The doctor asked.

"It's not really her choice," I shrugged. "But, I think she's willing to do anything that'll make me happy."

"Do you two sleep together?" She seemed almost afraid to ask the question.

I cringed at the thought of anyone touching me sexually, I could only see Christopher Hoyt writhing above me. "No." Was all I said. "I mean, we don't have sex. We don't even sleep in the same bed." I sighed.

"Why not?" I knew what she'd been asking 'why not' to. She wanted to know why we hadn't slept in the same bed.

"It brings back memories when anyone touches me." I admitted. "You said that it goes away with time. But it still feels like it _just _happened."

"It _will _go away, I promise." She smiled. "Tell me, how is your relationship with Cecilia?"

"She calls me everyday." I smiled. "She makes sure Maura's taking good care of me. I think it's really sweet that she cares so much."

"That is sweet." Dr. Hardwick agreed. "Do you resent her like you do Vince?"

"You mean am I considering getting a new partner when I return?" I asked her. She nodded. "That's if I even plan on returning." I mumbled to myself. I could tell she heard because she started to ask something, but she decided against it. "I don't know. I really didn't like her having to see me like that. I don't like that anyone saw me like that."

"You think you're supposed to be strong, right?"

I nodded. "It's what everyone expects. People at the precinct are afraid of me because they think I'm strong. They think I'm stronger than them. Reporters don't even bother to ask me questions, anymore. They know I'll threaten to lock them up for interfering with a police investigation if they even come near me."

"Even the strongest fall down, Jane." She put her pad and pen on table between us. "Even the strongest people have a weak moment. _That's _what makes you human. Being able to just cry and hurt. Being able to admit that you're not strong enough. Not hiding your feelings."

"I'm Jane." I told her. "I have to be strong for Maura. I know that if I show her that I'm hurting, it'll make her hurt even more."

"You want her to think you're doing just fine?"

"Yes!" I exclaimed. "Why make her suffer more than she needs to?"

"Because," She took her glasses off. "You're only making it harder for yourself. Don't you think Maura is ready to take all of you? She takes your abuse. She takes your sarcasm. Your ignorance. Clearly she takes all of your flaws, Jane. Don't you think she'll be willing to take your weakness? Your fears? Your nightmares? All of these things are not going to repel her. They are what brought her closer to you, Jane. They are reasons she fell in love with you."

"I can't let her see me like that." I shook my head. "I can't lose her."

"You're going to break down." She told me. "Whether you want to or not. I promise you, you're going to break down and become weak. She's going to be there. She might not be strong enough for you, Jane, but at least she's trying. At least she's trying to be real with you. Can you at least show her the same courtesy?"

"I'll think about it." I mumbled.

"Can you do something for me, Jane?" I nodded. "Can you make up four goals? Four small goals you wish to achieve before the next time you see me. And I want to hear those goals right here, right now."

I thought for a moment before agreeing. "They can be about anything?"

"Yes." She reached for her notepad and her pen. "Anything you want."

"The first goal is I want a good night's sleep. To actually dream of something that's not so terrifying. Hell, I just want to dream and not see _them_. Or think." I noted. I noticed her writing it down from the corner of my eye. "I want to be able to be touched by Maura. Not sexually. Just intimately. I want to be able to be comforted by her."

"These are very good, Jane." She encouraged with a smile.

"I want a family dinner." I said, with a nod. "I want Ma to cook. I want her to bring Vince along because he is my family. I want Barry and Cece there, because they're my family too. I want this at Maura's house, though. It's big enough."

"I'm very proud of you." I could tell she'd been expecting really small goals. I wanted these things, maybe I should have started off smaller. It would've made all of these things easy.

"Lastly," I thought for a moment. "I want comfort Maura. She suffered too. I want her to know she doesn't have to be strong for me, anymore. I want to accept that she's not as strong as I am or stronger. As much as I used to think that before, that's not my Maura. But, just because she's not as strong as I thought her to be, doesn't mean she's weak."

"Good, Jane." She smiled. "Do you need me to help you remember these goals?"

"No, doc." I smiled. "I have it all up here." I pointed to my head. She simply nodded. "I'll see you next week."

"I look forward to it, Jane." She stood up, hesitantly for a moment. We used to end our sessions in hugs but since that night with Christopher Hoyt, I couldn't touch her. I couldn't let her or anyone else touch me.

* * *

><p>"Thanks for driving me, Ma." Jane said to Angela when the silence in the car became a little unbearable. "There's something I need to talk to you about."<p>

"Okay," Angela glanced at Jane then looked back to the road.

"I...want a family dinner on Sunday." Jane looked down at her lap. "I want you to invite Vince."

"You know about Vince and I." Angela stated. "How did you know?"

"Maura told me the night before..." She couldn't finish the sentence. She didn't know what to call that night. The night she was tortured? The night she almost lost her life? The night her life changed? It was just_ that night_. "At first it creeped me out, but I'm really glad you two are keeping each other happy."

"Oh, Janie." Angela wanted to hug her daughter, she wanted to touch her daughter in some sort of way. "I love you, so much."

"I love you too, Ma." Jane smiled, proud that she brought her mother some sort of peace and ease. "I want to have it at Maura's house."

"Easy." Angela agreed. "Are you inviting your brothers?"

"By brothers," Jane looked at the road just as Angela had been. "You mean Frankie and Barry."

"You have another-" Angela was cut short by Jane's interruption.

"He would be here if he was truly my brother." Jane snapped. "He _left_, Ma."

"He didn't know how to deal with it, Janie." She defended. She would defend her son until the end. It didn't mean that she thought he was right, she just needed to defend him. Hoping that one day, everything she says will be true.

"_No one_ knows how to deal with this!" Jane clenched her jaw. "Do you think this is vacation time for Maura and I?"

"No, Janie." Angela's voice was calm and patient. "I know both of you are having a hard time."

"We are." Jane agreed with an angry nod. "But, you don't see us running away."

"You're right." Angela swallowed. "I have nightmares too, Jane." She wasn't trying to make Jane feel bad, she'd just been confiding in her daughter. "I don't like it."

"I'm sorry, Ma." Jane reached to touch her mother's hand but immediately pulled it back. If her first physical touch was going to go to anyone, it would be Maura. "Maybe you can show me how you make Grandma's cannoli or panna cotta."

"I know that cannoli is your favorite." Angela thought for a moment. "But I don't think you've had enough panna cotta since you were a teenager."

"Thanks, Ma." Jane smiled. Slowly, she was becoming herself again. "I'll see you on Sunday." Jane had been opening her car door now.

"I love you, Janie." Angela whispered.


	19. Clean

On her way to her apartment, Jane had found five dollars. "Lucky Rizzoli still lives." She laughed to herself. She froze. "Did I just laugh?" She tried to recall the memory. It'd been the first time she'd laughed since her night with Maura before that night. "Now I just have to make Maura laugh." Jane smiled to herself.

"Jane?" Maura called out as she closed the apartment door. She knew she'd been late coming home, but she had to stop and pick up from food for them. They'd been running really low on it and Jane hadn't wanted her to leave unless it was necessary. Maura had just returned to work today, so she thought it was the perfect chance to pick up some food for them.

"In here!" Jane called from the bathroom. "Don't come in. I'm showering."

"Okay." Maura said, turning to go to the kitchen. She unpacked the food and put it all away. It'd been ten minutes and Jane had still been in the shower. Maura glanced at her watch. _How long has she been in there?_ She asked herself. When she heard the bathroom door open, she almost jumped with jubilance.

"Welcome home." Jane said as she dried her hair. She'd been walking slow, but that was due to the pain she still felt. There was no way she'd be returning to work soon. Somehow, she'd been perfectly okay with that.

"Thank you." Maura flashed a sincere smile. "How was your day?"

"It sucked." Jane took a seat on the barstool. "I, uh, saw Dr. Hardwick today."

"I know." Maura hummed as she took out the ingredients she would need to make dinner. "How was it?"

"It was okay." Jane shrugged. _As good as therapy gets_. She wanted to laugh at her thought but she settled for a smile. "Can I talk to you?"

Jane's tone made Maura stop in her tracks. She set the onions down on counter before giving her full attention to Jane. "Mhm." She nodded.

"What are we?" Jane's hands were shaking in her lap. "I mean...after all we've been through. After all you said..._that night_...what are we?"

"I was honest when I told you I'm in love with you." Maura remembered having this discussion in the hospital, but she could safely assume Jane hadn't remembered it, herself. "It's always been you. Regardless of what relationships I've been since I've met you, I can honestly say I haven't been as happy as you've made me."

"Does this mean we're in a relationship?" Jane grinned.

"I thought you knew that?" Maura's brows were furrowed in confusion. "Have we not been in a relationship since I confessed my feelings?"

"I don't know..." Jane's grin didn't even twitch. "I mean, shouldn't I tell you how I feel?"

"I already know how you feel, Jane." Maura figured it was safe to return to getting ready for dinner. "I know that you love me. That you've always loved me." Maura stopped to look at Jane. "And when you left, you did it for me."

Jane smiled. "I've been working on something." She inched her fingers closer to Maura's. "I guess I should first be honest with you." Her fingers stopped. "That night, when Christopher was beating me, he really got to me."

* * *

><p>Jane's POV<p>

_Chris' fingers trailed along my back, slowly. He'd been whispering something in my ear, but all I could feel was the pain his fingers had been causing. He'd just finished whipping me, and I guess he got bored of it because I heard him drop the whip. _

_ "I'll be right back." He whispered. I couldn't feel or hear him anymore. I heard him leave through the cabin door. I turned to Patricia. She and Kyla had fallen asleep again. I knew he'd drugged them with the same stuff he'd drugged Maria and I with. I was glad that they were asleep for this. I even kept my cries of pain down because I didn't want to wake them. I didn't want them to have to witness this. I especially didn't want Kyla to. It would ruin her life more than the ordeal already had. _

_ "Jane," He sang in my ear. "I'm back." I heard him put something down. It sounded like a bucket but I couldn't see it. "You're a very dirty girl, Jane." I felt his fingers on my back again, but this time they were coated with something. "You'll never be clean again." He started rubbing whatever was on his fingers on my back. "She'll never love you! You'll never be good enough for her, Jane! You've got dirty blood on your hands, Jane! You're not clean yourself. Don't you have dirty thoughts, Jane? Thoughts of fucking the doctor? Thoughts of killing people? Even if they're bad guys, Jane, don't you want to kill them? You've got Bobby Marino's blood on your hands. He was dirty, just as you are. You're no different from him. He was a murderer. Just like you, Janie. You've got my brother's blood on your hands! He's inside of us, Jane. We have his dirt coursing through our own veins. We're apart of him, just as he's apart of us." _

_ His fingers were on my face now. They grazed across my lips. It was mud he'd been rubbing on me. "Jane, you are not worthy of Dr. Maura Isles. She's too clean for you. Think about it, Jane." He paused for a moment. "Think of how clean she is every time you see her. Think of how you only wish to be just as clean as her. She's never killed anyone, Jane. She's not a killer. She's not a monster like you and I. You are a Hoyt, Jane. You are a Marino. You are a Doyle. You are everything you despise. You are the very thing that you think you protect others from. You didn't leave Boston to protect Maura from me or my brother. You left to protect her from yourself." _

_ "You are not worthy, Jane." He brought the whip to my stomach, rubbing it against me. "Say it." I refused. Every time I refused to admit to it, he'd whip me. Finally, I'd had enough. I couldn't take the pain anymore. I couldn't hold in my screams to protect Kyla and Patricia from this memory. I couldn't do any of it, anymore. _

_ "I'm not worthy!" I screamed. "I. AM. NOT. WORTHY." I panted. _

_ "Worthy of what?" His laugh was sadistic. _

_ "Her." I cried. "I'm not worthy of Maura Isles." There had been more I wasn't worthy of, but Maura had been the most important. That was when he broke me. Every beating since then brought me closer to giving up. _

* * *

><p>"I haven't felt worthy of you since then." Jane admitted to Maura. "I showered just now, trying to scrub those memories away. Trying to scrub the dirt away. I tried to become worthy of you, Maura." Her fingers began inching to the honey blonde again. "I want to touch you." She whispered.<p>

Maura nodded, giving the brunette complete permission to do whatever she pleased. "Jane," Her voice was soft. "You _are_ worthy of me."

Jane looked at her for a moment. Searching her eyes for any hint of doubt. When she couldn't find it, her fingers laced with Maura's. The contact instantly made her feel like she'd almost been good enough for anything. Almost. Maura's fingers held onto Jane's hand as tight as possible. Jane knew that Maura would never let her go, now.

"I love you." Jane whispered, walking around the island. Her hand had still been attached with Maura's. "I love you, so much, Maura."

"I love you, Jane." She readied herself for Jane's embrace. When their bodies connected, Maura broke down. Her sobs with Jane's filled the air. Their bodies sunk to the floor as they held each other and cried. This felt right. To be completely weak in their lover's arms. To show just how hurt they were. The rest of the night; they spent it holding each other. Jane led Maura back to her bedroom where they just held each other and cried, until sleep swept over them.

* * *

><p>Jane had been the first to wake up the next morning. The singing birds outide her window didn't annoy her this time. Jane felt the weight of Maura on her. When she looked down, she was greeted with honey blonde hair that covered her chest. Maura had still been asleep. She could see how peaceful her lover looked as she slept. It'd been the best sleep both of them had gotten in a very long time. Jane hadn't had any nightmares, and neither did Maura.<p>

"Hit two birds with one stone." Jane chuckled, lightly, careful not to wake the sleeping honey blonde. She'd been referring to her goals. Touch Maura. Sleep well.

"What was that?" Maura hummed as she opened her eyes. She immediately closed them when the bright Tuesday morning startled her.

"Nothing." Jane smiled. Maura only shrugged, letting the thought go. She pulled away from Jane to stretch then rested her head back in its rightful place. "You forgot to feed me last night." The brunette bit her lip.

"I know," Maura groaned, sleepily. She'd been hoping to fall back asleep. "I'm very hungry, myself." She let her eyes close again.

"I want zoo animal pancakes." Jane whispered. "So, wake up."

"Shouldn't you have your mother make you those?" Maura hadn't obliged. She was sure she'd be going back to sleep soon, even if it meant she had to kick Jane out of their bedroom. "It is her specialty, afterall."

"I've never had your zoo animal pancakes." Jane feigned hurt. "Please, Maur?"

"Give me an hour." Maura rolled over, getting ready to kick the brunette off the bed. She knew she would regret as soon as she did, so she just tucked herself under the blanket that had been abondoned on her side of the bed.

"Fine." Jane smiled, completely content with that. "I'm going to go work out."

"Do you think you're strong enough for that, yet?" Maura had been more alert now. She worried about Jane getting back to pushing herself. "The doctor and I agreed that you should wait at least a month before working out or doing any overexciting activities."

"That was your opinion." Jane shrugged, pulling herself from the bed. "I feel fine." It'd been a lie but she knew that if she didn't lie, Maura would probably never let her go.

"I strongly advise against this," Maura stated before settling back under the blanket. "Just take your phone with you, please? Call me if you need me."

"Will do." Jane smiled. She grabbed her running shorts and police academy shirt. "I'll see you in an hour." She promised. Maura only replied with light snores. "That was fast." She chuckled.

* * *

><p>Jane's POV<p>

I jogged with jubilance this morning. It hurt, God it hurt like hell but I wasn't going to stop myself. I needed this. I needed to push myself to this pain. I'm on my way back to the apartment now. I managed to run to the park that had been a mile away. I decided to take the stairs instead of the elevator to Frankie's apartment. When I knocked on his door, he greeted me with a toothbrush in his mouth.

"What?" He asked when I stared at him with an amused look on my face. "What are you doing here?" He made room for me to enter.

"Just went for a run," I knew that had been obvious but the truth was that I actually missed seeing Frankie. I would never allow myself to tell him that. "I just wanted to see how you've been."

"Worried sick about you." He spat the toothpaste out into the sink before turning on the tap to wash it all away. "How are you and the doc?"

"Eh," I shrugged. "We've had better days." Today had been one of them.

"How's Patricia and Kyla?" He asked as he pulled out a bottle of water for me.

I took the water bottle from him. "I haven't spoken to them. That's something to ask Maura next time you see her."

"I'm glad you're okay, Janie." He hadn't been looking at me.

I smiled before nudging him. "When did you become such a softie?" I joked. Frankie made a face but only shrugged. We spent about thirty minutes watching ESPN before Maura called my phone. I chuckled because I'd been expecting her to call.

"Where are you?" She asked, frantically.

"Frankies," I said as if it'd been no big deal. "I'll be up in a minute."

"Okay." Was all she said before she hung up. I laughed and slid my phone back into my pocket. I kissed Frankie goodbye before going up to my own apartment.

* * *

><p>Maura's POV<p>

Sixty seconds before I talked to her on the phone and she's not here yet. I sighed heavily, rubbing my head. I could tell Jane had been returning to herself. The Jane she was before Bobby Marino. She was back to giving me migraines. I heard Jane unlocking the door just as I started mixing the batter for her pancakes.

"Hey," She said, closing the door behind herself. "Sorry, I didn't call to tell you I'd be late."

"It's fine." I brushed off my irritation. After hearing that she'd been fine, I felt better. I could admit that I'd been very afraid of something happening to her. I needed to know where she was every minute of the day. I knew that wouldn't change for a while. "How are you feeling?"

Jane stretched slightly before answering. "Everything hurts." She frowned as she went to recycle the water bottle she held in her hands. "But, I don't regret it." She was right behind me, now. I could tell she'd began to pull back again, because she was hesitant to touch me. I turned around to her, leaning myself against the island counter.

"Do you want me to give you a massage?" I asked, unsure if I should initiate the contact first for her. I could tell she'd been struggling. Her fingers were suspended between us.

"I want to shower first." She said, pulling her fingers back. Jane had been having an internal battle with herself. I could tell by the way she looked at me, she was giving into Christopher's words about her not being good enough for me. She wanted to shower so that she could touch me.

"Okay." I smiled. "I'll see you when you get back." I watched her leave without another word. I only opened her up for a night. I would have to give her time to open herself up for a longer period of time. I couldn't blame her. What she went through was traumatic. I was just glad that I got one night of holding her out of this. I was glad that she opened up to me once. Even if it'd been the last time I could hold her, I was glad that I got to experience it.

* * *

><p>The rest of the day, Jane and Maura spent near each other, just not touching each other. Jane had asked for a rain check on the massage. She instead played fetch with Jo Friday in her apartment. She would hide Jo's toy and let her dog go try to find it. This gave her something to physically do while she tried to ignore the memories of being tied up with Christopher Hoyt. Maura planted herself onto couch, reading studies on music therapy. She wondered if she could apply it to Jane, maybe help her sleep at night when she wouldn't be able to be there. Not that she'd ever planned on having Jane sleep alone, but if the dilemma ever arrived, she would have a plan.<p>

"Are you ready to see anyone?" Maura asked, settling the book in her lap. Jane had been returning from hiding Jo's toy. She knew she would have about two minutes before Jo returned with the toy.

"I don't know." Jane took a seat on the other couch. "Who are we talking about?"

"Barry would love to see you." Maura closed the book and put it on the coffee table. "I can just tell him that you're not ready, yet. I'm sure he'll understand."

"Barry just doesn't want me to forget about our tradition." Jane let out a small laugh. This confused Maura. "Whenever the Boston Pilgrims have a game, we watch it together. Even if we're working a case. One of us will record the game and we'll watch it when we have time."

"Ah," Maura smiled. "Would you like me to tell him to come over?"

"Yeah," Jane nodded. "Tell him he better supply the beer."

"Jane," Maura gave her a disapproving look. "You're not allowed to drink." Jane sighed, she knew this, she only hoped that Maura would allow it.

"I know, I know." She mumbled. She looked up to see Maura texting Barry back. She relaxed on the couch. When Jo returned with the ball, she frowned. "Game's over, girl." Jo whimpered but stalked off into the back of the apartment to go be entered by something else.

When Barry arrived to Jane's apartment, he'd been nervous. He hadn't seen his friend since the day after rescuing her. The way she'd treated Vince after he'd saved her, made him fear how Jane would treat him. He only hoped he was rewarded with a thanks and nothing more.

"Barry," Maura greeted him with a hug. "How are you?" She rubbed his back.

"I'm good, Doc." Barry's arms were wrapped around Maura's waist. "How is she?"

"You can ask her." Maura pulled back with a smile and made way for him to enter the apartment. He'd been hesitant at first until he saw how relaxed Jane looked on the couch, already watching the pre-game show.

"Hey." Jane said when she noticed Barry. "Glad you finally made it. You almost missed them talking about Manny Vega's death, endlessly." She joked.

"Never gets too old for them, I guess." He laughed as he sat on the couch with her. He kept a good distance between them. Maura had warned him of touching her, through text message. "He was one of their best players."

"Doesn't mean every time they have a game they have to talk about him or Jesse." She'd been slightly irritated. "Anyways," She turned to her friend. "How are you?" She'd been turning the volume on the television down.

"I'm good, Jane." He smiled. "How are you?"

"Not good." She frowned. "I'm getting better." She turned to watch Maura busy herself. Maura. The very reason she'd been getting better. The very reason she's even alive. Maura was making Jane's life worth living and she probably didn't even know it. Jane smiled as she watched her girlfriend make tea for both of them and pull out a beer for Barry.

"Glad to hear." He was also zseccglad that she had Maura. He watched the way Jane watched Maura and that itself brought a smile to his lips. When Maura gave him his beer, Barry thanked her. He brought the beer bottle to his lips but before drinking, he couldn't help but smile at how focused Jane had been on Maura. When the game started, Jane had taken her medicine to control her pain. She'd forgotten that they would make her tired.

"She fell asleep." Barry stated, amused. "I guess it's good because she'd be really pissed to know that the Pilgrims are losing."

"I would assume so," Maura smiled. "They did lose their star player."

"Yeah," Barry sighed. "How is she, Doc?" He glanced at his sleeping friend.

"What he did to her physically," Maura paused for a moment, she accepted Jo into her arms. "Was paradise compared to what he did to her mentally."

"I know she had nightmares for months after Charles." Barry conceded. He'd wanted to refer to him as Hoyt but considering there had been two of them now, he would have state each by name. "I remember when she used to come into work looking really terrible. I knew she had a nightmare. When she finally started to look good again, I figured the nightmares had gone away."

"She definitely still has nightmares, Barry." Maura told him, running her fingers through Jo's hair.

"Just wish she'd talk to me about it." Barry knew that it'd been too much to ask but it didn't mean he didn't still didn't want it. Barry and Maura didn't say anything for the remainder of the game. He just enjoyed his time with his friend while he could. When the game had been over, Barry was the first to his feet. Maura carefully placed Jo Friday in her doggy bed.

"I'll see you, tomorrow, Doc." Barry wrapped his arms around the smaller woman. "Tell Jane I hope to see her soon."

"Of course," Maura hugged him back. "Drive safely." She was glad that he'd only consumed one drink the entire time. He drank it so slowly she was sure he wouldn't have any trouble getting home. "Goodnight, Barry."

"Goodnight, Doc." She closed the door behind him. She sighed heavily, looking at the sleeping Jane. Maura smiled to herself before going near the brunette.

"Jane," She said in a low voice, carfully not to startle Jane. "Time for bed." She didn't want to touch her unless she'd been permitted to. Lately, Jane hadn't been sleeping so well, so she knew all she would have to do was call the brunette's name a few times. "Jane." She tried again. When the taller woman began stirring, Maura smiled, proud of herself.

"Did I miss the game?" Jane asked as she stretched, looking to where Barry had been sitting.

"Yes," Maura frowned. "He just left."

"Oh," Jane pouted. "I'll make it up to him next time." She smiled, although Maura would forget to deliver that promise.

"Let's get you into bed, sweetie." The honey blonde whispered. Jane only nodded but she followed Maura into her bedroom. She stripped herself then put on one of her night shirts and a pair of shorts. Maura was careful not to watch Jane, knowing the brunette had been uncomfortable with her seeing all the wounds she had now.

"I have work in the morning," Maura told her when the brunette was settling into bed. "I'll have someone come by to check up on you."

"I'm fine, Maur." Jane groaned as she rolled over. "I'll probably just stay in and watch TV all day."

"Well that's not very productive, Jane." Maura straightened up. "Studies show that spending the time you watch television on learning something new, is far more stimulating to the brain and results in higher IQ's."

"I like my IQ where it is, Maur." Jane said with a smile. "But, thank you for wanting me to be smarter."

"I don't want you to be smarter, Jane." The honey blonde frowned. "I just don't want you to be easily fooled by the common misconceptions on day time television." Jane let out a small laugh.

"Where are you going?" Jane asked when Maura had turned off the lamp on her bedside table.

"I thought...you...I thought you wanted to go to bed?" Maura asked, confused.

"Aren't you tired?" The detective asked.

"Yes." Maura nodded. "That's where I was going. To clean then to bed."

"You don't want to sleep in here?" Jane asked, worried that maybe things hadn't been getting as good as she'd thought.

"Of course I do," Maura began unbuttoning her pants. "I...you haven't touched me since this morning."

"I know." Jane frowned. "Just because we can't touch each other, doesn't mean I don't want you to sleep in here." Maura only nodded as she changed into something more comfortable to wear. She settled on silk black pajama pants and a black camisole. When she climbed into bed, Jane made room for her. The brunette was careful to keep their skin from coming into any contact.

"I love you," Maura whispered. She could already hear the light snores coming from Jane. She smiled and closed her own eyes, ready for sleep.

* * *

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	20. Vent

Maura's POV

_"Korsak!" I screamed. "Korsak!" But he didn't arrive. "Cruz!" She didn't arrive either. "Frost!" I screamed but he didn't show. "Frankie!" And I recieved nothing. "Please! Just save her!" I begged. None of them showed up. They'd lied. They told me that they would be there before I had time to call them for help. Christopher stared at me. _

_ "Maura!" Jane begged. "Please, run. Forget about me!" I couldn't run now. Even if I'd wanted to, which I wouldn't have anyway, I couldn't. Christopher pointed my gun to me. I peeled off the last layer of clothing I had on, which had been my underwear. He nodded in approval as he brought the taser back to Jane's neck. _

_ "I did what you said!" I yelled, my sobs were returning. He didn't care. I watched Jane writhe in pain before falling limp. She didn't move. Her body just hung there, slightly swinging from her movements. Christopher had been stalking towards me now. I saw his fingers at the buckle of his jeans. I could hear Patricia screaming something to him but I couldn't make out the words. He killed Jane. He killed her and all I wanted now was to die, myself. I couldn't very well leave Patricia to fend for herself. She hadn't been trained for this. Then again, neither had I. But, this is what I signed up for when I agreed to come in here alone._

_ "Lie down." He instructed and I obliged. I only hoped that I could somehow manage the gun or taser away from him when he'd been...having his way with me. I swallowed hard, trying to figure out my plan. To be honest, I hadn't had much hope in myself. I didn't even have much inspiration. Jane was gone. The only thing I'd been planning on was letting Patricia and Kyla escaped. After they were gone, I'd beg Christopher Hoyt to kill me. _

* * *

><p>Jane's POV<p>

_I was unconscious again. Maura had been begging them to let her go. I could hear them thrusting into her. I felt my throat close up. God, I was going to throw up. How could they do that to her? She was innocent. She wasn't even their type. Christopher had told me he'd only liked brunettes. Why couldn't they have just let her go? Why couldn't they just punish me, and me only? When the noises stopped, all I could hear was Charles and Chris talking to each other. I couldn't even hear Maura anymore. _

_ "Show her to Jane." Charles commanded. This brought me back to consciousness. I heard wrestling before I could see something in my line of view. Chris had dragged her body all the way over to me. There had been seldom lighting but I could tell the blood that stained her. It was everywhere. Between her legs. On her legs. On her stomach. On her chest. I couldn't see any movement from her. Her body had been frozen, forever, now. Maura was gone. They'd killed her. _

_ "Would you like to join her, Jane?" Chris asked me, seductively. He brought a scapel to my chest right where my heart was. "I can arrage that." _

_ "Go to hell, you sonofabitch." I said through my clenched jaw. I had nothing to live for now. I wanted to piss him off enough to kill me. "What happened to you two? Did daddy beat the fucking crap out of both you because he'd been disgusted with you? Did mommy leave you because she didn't love you enough?" _

_ I could I'd got something out of that, because Chris drove the scapel into my stomach right where I'd shot myself. I cried out in pain. "You bitch!" He yelled. _

_ "Enough!" Charles ordered. "She's mine. You killed yours." I waited for one of them to do it. To be man enough to kill me. They went back and forward, torturing me some more. I took it. I accepted the pain, willingly. I wanted to die. I wanted to be dead. I wanted to join Maura wherever she was. Heaven or Hell. _

* * *

><p>Jane's whimpering woke Maura. She reached over to turn the lamp that had been next to Jane on.<p>

"Jane," She said, brushing her own hair behind her ear. "Jane, it's okay. It's just a nightmare. Wake up." She was glad to be awaken from her own. "Jane!" She called again, but it was to no avail. Jane's whimpers turned into sobs, but she'd still been asleep.

For a moment, Maura forgot she hadn't been allowed to touch the brunette. She placed two firm hands on the detective's arms. "Wake up." She shook her carefully.

"Don't touch me!" Jane snapped from her sleep. She pulled away from Maura, falling onto the floor.

"Jane!" Maura cried, peering over the edge to see if her partner had been okay. "Are you okay?" She knew it'd been a stupid question but she had to ask it.

"Yeah," Jane had still been crying. She pulled her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. The brunette rested her forehead on her knees as the tears fell, heavily. Maura didn't say anything, she didn't know what to say or do to comfort the taller woman. How would she comfort her? She wasn't allowed to touch Jane. Maura went to sit next to the brunette, quietly singing to her partner, hoping that helped at least a bit.

"_When the rain is blowing in your face and the world is on your case; I can offer you a warm embrace, to make you feel my love. When the evening shadows and the stars appear, and there is no one there to dry your tears, I can hold you for a million years, to make you feel my love._ " She had heard the song on the radio once after Charles had taken Jane, when he'd escaped. Maura thought of Jane every time she heard that song, since then. It'd become the song she'd sing to Jane when the brunette had trouble sleeping. Although Jane never remembered it because she'd been too tired, Maura loved those moments.

"_I know you haven't made your mind up yet, but I would never do you wrong. I've known it from the moment that we met, no doubt in my mind where you belong. I'd go hungry, I'd go black and blue. I'd go crawling down the avenue. No, there's nothing that I wouldn't do. To make you feel my love._" When she heard the brunette's crying turn into whimpering, she figured she'd been doing a good job. So she decided to continue. "_The storms are raging on the rolling sea, and on the highway of regret. The winds of change are blowing wild and free. You ain't seen nothing like me yet. I could make you happy, make your dreams come true. Nothing that I wouldn't do. Go to the ends of the Earth for you. To make you feel my love_." Jane hadn't fallen asleep, she just continued to whimper. She'd been afraid to fall asleep again, but she was afraid to touch Maura. Instead, she just sat there trying to be silent.

The two women sat there for hours. Neither of them could move, even if they'd wanted to.

Maura's POV

Session #3

"I'm glad you've finally had time to come." Dr. Wright said as I sat down. I hadn't been planning on staying for long, but there were things I needed to get off my chest. Before Jane had been abducted, Dr. Wright and I had made a plan to see each other once a week. Since_ that night_, I have hardly had time for him. My schedule had been work and Jane, work and Jane, and more work and Jane. We'd given up hope on my trying to even bother showing up. After rescheduling three times, I decided to just tell him whenever I truly had the time, I'd call for an appointment.

"Thanks." I finally said after making myself comfortable.

"How long has it been since the _incident_?" He was careful not to speak of Christopher Hoyt by name. It'd been plastered all over the Boston media for weeks.

"Three months." I stated, slightly proud that I'd made it thus far. "It's been four months."

"How is Jane?" He asked, I could see the curiousity in his facial expression. He'd probably been following the story by the media.

"Jane...is fine." It wasn't a lie. She'd been getting better and better. Her therapist had been doing a remarkable job with her. She was able to touch me for longer periods of time, now. Oftenly she would wash her hands before doing so, but I completely understood. "She's at the beach with her family for the day. I decided to stay behind."

"Why?" He wrote something down. "You could've enjoyed a beautiful day with her."

"I've spent every day with her for the past three months," I shrugged. "Even under the circumstances, everyday has been beautiful." I smiled. "Besides, I know how much her family misses her. They've hardly gotten to see her."

"Why not?" He seemed genuinely concerned.

"Work." I looked down at the coffee table between us. I could tell he'd changed his office around. Had it really been that long since I'd seen him? "Frankie's been really busy. The busier it is down at the precinct, the busier Angela is. She has to stay open later on some nights. Jane's been working on getting her strength back."

"What about you? What have you been busy with?" He crossed his legs.

"Performing autopsies." I rubbed the back of my head. "If I haven't been doing that, I've been with Jane. As I stated before, I spend every day with her. That's a great deal of my time."

"Will she be returning to work soon?"

"Yes." I smiled. "She'll definitely be returning to work soon. I think she's more excited about it than anything."

"That's nice," Here came the question, I so desperately needed to answer. I needed to tell someone who was unbiased. Someone who wouldn't judge me for feeling the way I did. Maybe someone who can explain to me why I'm wrong. "How do you feel about her returning to work?"

"Honestly," I shook my head. "I'm not too thrilled about it. She wants to return to homicide. After telling Cavanaugh she's been going through therapy, he couldn't be any more willing to accept her back into the unit." I sighed, heavily at the memory. "I know that she's going to work ten times as hard to prove that she's still the same person. That means she's going to put herself in dangerous situations that she shouldn't even be in."

"You're worried she'll run into another Charles Hoyt." He hesitated a bit with the question but I knew it needed to be asked.

"Yes," I closed my eyes. "And I'm afraid she'll attract him. Her nightmares _just _stopped a few nights ago."

"You think if she returns to homicide, they'll return as well." He was so good at reading me, sometimes I felt like all I had to do was just show up the sessions and sit there and _he'd_ tell _me_ what was wrong with me.

"Yes." I nodded. My eyes were still closed. "I don't want to lose her, Jason."

"Have you talked to her about this?" He'd been surprised I referred to him as his first name. I figured we'd bypassed the pressionalism.

"Yes." I rubbed my temples at the memory, it was already bringing back a headache.

_Jane and I had been eating lunch at a diner near the precinct. She'd wanted to have dinner down in my office, but I advised her against it. There had been a woman on the table that resembled me. I knew how protective she'd been of me, so I didn't want it to trigger any more nightmares than necessary. _

_ "That waitress was totally flirting with you." She laughed as she chewed her food. _

_ I chewed carefully before replying. "I've thought it to be odd that someone can pick up on whether another human being is a homosexual or not. But, they are completely clueless to know when someone is in a relationship." _

_ "I'm pretty sure she knows we're together, Maur." Jane smiled. "She's just bold enough to disregard it." _

_ "Why would she do that?" I'd asked. Jane had been better at reading people. I could study humanity all I wanted, but Jane had a better understanding of it. _

_ "I don't know." Jane cupped her chin in her left hand as she propped her elbow up on the table. I would've told her that was bad table manners but I knew she wouldn't have cared, anyway. "She'll have to get used to me, though. This place is pretty amazing. I think we should come here at least once a week when I return to work." _

_ I dropped my fork. I knew she'd be going back to work, I just hadn't been prepared for this discussion just yet. "When?" It'd been hard to find my voice. I reached for my glass of tea. _

_ "Two weeks." Jane said, proudly. She'd been oblivious to my sudden change of mood. _

_ "That's really soon." I commented, picking my fork back up. I began pushing my food around my plate. _

_ "Not really," Jane said, in a very disagreeing tone. "I mean I'm still getting paid to do what? Sit on my couch and wait for you to get home all day? I've been medically and mentally cleared to return, Maura. I'm not your housewife." _

_ "I know," I hadn't wanted this to turn into an argument so I kept my tone calm. "I understand that. I'm just worried that you'll just end up getting hurt again." _

_ "Oh," Jane let out a humorless laugh. "I forgot. You don't trust me doing my job." _

_ "Excuse me?" When had I ever said that to her?_

_ "The only reason Patricia didn't trust me to work that case was because you didn't trust me." She hadn't been wrong but I'd never told her that. "Maura, I don't know why you don't trust me to do my job." _

_ "Because, Jane," I sighed. "Look at your track record. You've ended up being tortured, shot, and kidnapped." _

_ "Wow," She shook her head. "I can't believe you're using all of that against me." _

_ "I'm not!" I exclaimed. "I'm just simply stating the obvious, Jane. I think you are a wonderful detective, but is there any possible way to be a good detective without putting your life more in danger than the others? Vince and Barry have come out of situations with minimal scratches bruises. You'll come out of that very situation with a gunshot wound or any wound that needs medical attention of some sort." _

_ "I'm returning to work." She dropped her spoon to her plate. "That's final." _

_ "Okay." I knew I couldn't argue with her over it. I hadn't been trying to. I just wanted her to know that I would always be afraid of her body ending up on my table. I will always be afraid of that. _

"Was that the first time you two have argued since the incident?" I could see him from the corner of my eye.

"No," I sighed. "We fought one other time when she came to visit me at work." I braced myself to tell him the story.

_I'd asked one of my interns to get Italian for Patricia and I. It'd been the first time she and I had seen each other since Christopher Hoyt. After that night, we talked on the phone once a day, but we never had time to see each other. She'd roughly been going through the same thing as Jane. He beat her, as well. By the time my intern had returned, Patricia was due to arrive within the next ten minutes. I decided to spend the time talking to Jane on the phone. I knew she had therapy that day, and I'd wanted to know what her goals had been for the week. I always looked forward to hearing of them and helping her achieve them. _

_ When I called Jane, she hadn't answered. I tried one more time. No answer. It probably meant that she'd been working out. I went through every excuse in my mind so that I wouldn't have to worry. _

_ "Knock, knock." Patricia's accent gave her away. I looked up to see her with a smile on her face. I was glad that she was still able to smile. _

_ "Trish," I walked around my desk to embrace her in a hug. "How are you?" _

_ "I'm good." She breathed as she pulled away. "The nightmares finally went away." _

_ "Good to hear." I smiled._

_ "Yeah," She took a seat on the couch in my office. "How's Jane?" _

_ "She's better." I grabbed our lunch and took a seat next to her. I'd remembered what Patricia loved so I was made sure my intern understood the way to order the food. I gave Patricia her food, I'd lost my appetite when worried thoughts of Jane had run through my mind. _

_ "How's Kyla?" I finally asked. _

_ "She's..." Patricia stopped for a moment. She looked down at her food, debating on if she'd wanted to eat now. I wouldn't have blamed her if she hadn't. "She's not doing as well as I am." _

_ "I'm sorry," I frowned. "Have you got her seeing a therapist?" _

_ "Yeah." Patricia put her food on the coffee table. "James and I are trying everything but it's not working as well as it did for me. But, we're being patient. I understand that she's still really scared. She wakes up in the middle of the night screaming. She's afraid to wake up in that cabin, again." _

_ "My Jane has the same problem." I looked at her. _

_ "Your Jane?" She smirked. "So you two are finally together, eh?" _

_ I rolled my eyes. "Yes." I laughed. "How are you and James?" _

_ "We're taking things slow." She nodded. "But we're doing good." I smiled, I was glad for her. _

_ "Do you want to get a coffee?" It seemed we both had lost our appetites. I would just let my interns have the rest of the food. I loved buying lunch for them. _

_ "Sure," Patricia was already standing. "I need to use the restroom." _

_ "Here," I have her my badge. "Take a left and then a right and use my restroom." _

_ "Thanks." She was already leaving. I laughed because of the way she walked when she had to use the restroom. I bagged the barely touched food and went across the hall to give it to my working interns. They thanked me as I left to go wait for Patricia near the elevators. When I saw her, I pushed the button to go up. Patricia and I talked animatedly about how our lives had been going, for the next twenty minutes. Angela had even joined the conversation at one point but left when other customers had come in. _

_ "Oh," I heard from the door. I hadn't bother turning around because I didn't think it'd been important. "There she is, right there." Now I turned around because there had only been two women in the cafe. Even Angela had gone on break and went upstairs to bother her son. Those had been her words, not mine. _

_ "Hello, Jane." Patricia greeted with a smile. It seemed sincere. I knew she still didn't like Jane all that much but she wouldn't have been rude. _

_ "Hi, Patricia." Jane said through clenched teeth. I knew that tone. She was unhappy with me. I turned to Jane, hoping she would keep it professional. _

_ When Jane only stared at me, Detective Cruz cut in. "Patricia," She took the other woman's arm. "Would you like to go say hello to the other detectives that saved you?" _

_ "Sure." She'd picked up on the hint to leave. I stared right back at Jane, just as she'd been staring at me. My eyes never left hers. _

_ "What's wrong?" I finally asked, getting tired of just staring at each other. _

_ "I came here to see you." Jane said, grabbing my forearm. I frowned, she'd been taking me somewhere more private. When we were down in my office, she closed the door behind us. "I came here to see you and you're just chatting it up with _her_." _

_ "Jane," I sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose. "You _cannot _still be jealous, can you?" I was glad I'd closed the blinds earlier in the day. I walked to her and cupped her face. "I thought we agreed that I am yours. Why does it matter that I am friends with her?" _

_ "Because," Jane's voice was like acid. "I don't trust her." _

_ "Why not?" I was not going to let her ruin my day. I was going to change her mood, for the better. "Actually, you don't have to answer that. You need to trust me, and only me." _

_ "She still has _feelings_ for you!" Jane accused. "You're mine! I can't have her trying to get you back, behind my back." _

_ "Don't you trust me, Jane?" I rubbed her cheek with my thumb. She nodded. "Then what are you afraid of? You know that I love you. I know that I love you. I'm _happy_ with you." _

_ "That doesn't mean she won't try!" She was angry again. So angry she flinched away from me. "Maybe she'll give you what I can't! I drew the short straw that night. He left Kyla alone, which I'm glad. But, what did he do to her? He punched her a few times? I was _whipped_, Maura! I was punched, _a lot_! I was stabbed. I was tased. I was hurt, _a lot_! She's not as fucked up as I am. You can touch her. You can make _love _to her. She can make love to you without feeling completely disgusted with herself. Without feeling completely unworthy. I mean I'm glad he didn't hurt her too much, because I wouldn't have wanted him to. I just hate how fucked I am. How she could probably use that against me." I wanted to touch her again but I knew that now was not a good time. _

_ "You listen to me, Jane Rizzoli." My voice was firm. It had to be. Although I'd wanted to break down and cry. "I _won't _leave you because you're afraid to touch me. I won't leave you because you've been broken. I will love you with everything in me. How could I leave you when you've saved my life? How can I leave you when you _are _my life?"_

_ "Because she can give you what I can't." Her words were quiet. _

_ "Unhappiness?" I surmised. "She doesn't make me happy, Jane. I will not tolerate you believing such a thing. I will not let you think that I'd rather be with her. Because I wouldn't." _

_ "But you should." I could tell Jane's anger had subsided. Before I could say anything else, she was leaving my office. I called after her but she didn't come back. I knew she needed some time. But, that subject never came up again. Even when I tried to talk to her at dinner that night, she firmly told me it wasn't the time. _

"We still haven't discussed that day," I sighed. "I've stopped seeing Patricia."

"Do you miss her?"

"Yes." I nodded. "But, for Jane, I'll give up anyone." And that was true. I would give up anyone and anything for Jane Rizzoli. Not because I wanted to, but because I felt that I had to. Anything she told me to do, even if it'd been a joke, it always felt like a command. I lived to make her happy. Sometimes I had to stop myself from doing most of the things she asked me to do because I knew that I had to stand my ground, at least sometimes.

"Do you think maybe you should talk to her about all of this?" His brow was furrowed in confusion. "Maybe you should tell her how much Patricia means to you just as Cecilia means a lot to her. Just because you've dated her doesn't mean that it makes you any less Janes. You should also talk to her about going back to work. Make her understand that you don't want her to _not _go back to work, but simply just be more careful. But, Maura? You've got to trust Jane at her job. That's something you really need to work on."

I nodded. "I know, doctor." I swallowed hard. "I want to trust her. But, I just feel like she's going to end up getting herself killed."

"That's a risk she's taking just by doing her job." His tone was empathetic. "She risks dying just by waking up in the morning. I wouldn't be shocked to find out that she died from working out too much."

I knew it'd been a joke but I didn't like anyone joking about Jane's death. "I know." I knew it was time leave, soon. Jane had wanted me home early.

"I'll see you next week?" He smiled.

"Yes." It was the week that Jane returned to work for the homicide unit. Lt. Cavanaugh had been understanding of our relationship. Considering we'd started dating before she returned to homicide, the rules didn't apply to us as much. Homicide was desperate for Jane to return, anyway. Their cold cases seemed to be piling up. I sighed and thanked him for the session before leaving.


	21. Touch

**You guys are going to love me for this chapter. I know it's a bit long. Also, the songs mentioned in this chapter are:**

**Incredible Love by Ingrid Michaelson**

**Back At One by Brian McKnight**

* * *

><p>Jane had been making dinner for her partner. She'd told Maura that she'd be spending the day at the beach, but that hadn't been the entire truth. She'd spent the day getting everything planned for their week together. Jane had been waiting for the cannolis to finish. When she heard the key turning in the lock, she cursed to herself. Maura had been home earlier than Jane expected. The brunette washed her hands before Maura could make it to the kitchen.<p>

"Mmm," Maura smiled as she inhaled the scent of the dinner that had been cooking. "Smells good." She put her purse on the island counter. It'd been odd to see Jane so at home in the honey blonde's kitchen. They'd spent a great deal of Jane's healing at her own apartment.

"Thanks," Jane brought the beer bottle to her lips. She eyed her girlfriend, taking in her figure before taking a sip. "I wanted to talk to you."

"If this is how you prepare to talk to me," Maura kissed Jane's cheek. "Then I think we should talk every night from now on." The couple shared a laugh together.

"You should get washed up for dinner." Jane said with a slight smile. Maura nodded. Jane watched her girlfriend disappear to her bedroom. She bit her lip, trying to hold in her emotions for the night.

"Time to shower." She said to herself. She texted her mother the new plan.

_Ma, Maura came home early. Can you watch the dinner for me while I take a shower? Remember! You need to be gone in like thirty minutes._

_ Gotcha. You two girls have fun. ;)_

_ Disgusting, Ma. Seriously. _

Despite her response, Jane couldn't help but laugh her mother's text message.

"What's this?" Maura asked as she looked at the dress that had been waiting for her on her bed, with a note attached to it. The dress had been blue and strapless. It'd been talored precisely to hug the honey blonde's curves.

Jane chuckled. "I thought it was self explanatory, Maur." She licked her lips. Maura had been stripped down to her underwear. "But, it's what I want you to wear for dinner. It's my favorite dress of yours."

"Why are we getting all dressed up?" The honey blonde pointed to the dress that Jane had waiting for herself on the other side of the bed. The dress had been black with thin black straps. It was made to hug her skin.

"Just take a shower and get dressed, okay?" Jane purposely had been avoiding her partner's questions. Maura sighed heavily, displeased with Jane's lack of answers. Jane gathered her thing to go to the guest bathroom. She knew if she'd been around Maura any longer, their night would be ruined. After scrubbing herself clean until her skin was screaming red, Jane decided she'd been clean enough for the night. She turned the water off, silently praying that tonight went as planned.

"Jane," Maura called outside of the door. "Your mother is giving me funny looks."

Jane chuckled. "Just ignore her, baby." She tried to get dressed as fast as possible. She limited her makeup because she knew that with Maura there hadn't been any real use for it. The honey blonde thought she was beautiful either way. Jane decided against wearing shoes at all, she wouldn't have felt comfortable. Seeing that Angela had been letting Maura test the food made the brunette smile. Maura had decided against shoes just as Jane had.

"Okay, Ma." Jane said, taking the stirring spoon from her mother's hands. "No more." She gave her mother the look that told the older woman it was time to leave.

"I have to go," Angela announced, taking the hint. "Vince and I have a date." It wasn't entirely a lie. They'd decided to spent the evening together. They just wouldn't have been spending the night together. Angela would retire to Jane's apartment.

"So soon?" Maura asked, surprised.

"Yeah," Angela nodded, glancing at Jane. Her daughter gave her a firm nod. "Yeah." Angela's tone had been sad. She had wanted to talk to Maura some more but she knew that Jane had worked for days getting this evening the week to come together. "I'll see you kids, later." She kissed both of their cheeks before grabbing Jane's car keys and leaving.

"I think she just took your keys," Maura noted.

"It's fine." Jane had been pouring the food into a dish for it to be served. "Can you get some wine out?" Maura nodded and stalked off to find the perfect bottle of wine. Jane filled both of their waiting plates with the food. She'd noticed Angela had left the cannolis to cool down. She smiled, looking at everything. All was perfect, so far.

"You aren't proposing tonight, are you?" Maura asked, handing the wine to Jane.

The brunette chuckled. "I don't have a ring, so no."

"You wouldn't need a ring for me to say yes, anyway." Maura shrugged.

"Have a seat." Jane said as she pulled out the chair for her girlfriend. When Maura sat down, she pushed the chair in for her. Jane took the seat across from her. "Eat." She ordered. Maura smiled and scooped up a bite. Before eating it, she blew on it.

Jane bit her lip watching this. Maura had no idea how seductive she'd been. After Jane's last therapy session, she'd finally realised she was ready to make love to Maura. That was what tonight was all about. To attend to her girlfriend the way her girlfriend had been attending to her for the last three months. Although Maura hadn't tried anything sexual, Jane knew Maura needed the release. The two ate, quietly. The silence had been comfortable. When it'd been time for dessert, Jane told Maura to stay seated. Even when someoen had interrupted their dinner, Jane had told Maura to stay put.

Now, it'd been time for the talk she'd been referring to earlier and she was nervous as hell. "Maur," She said, without looking at the honey blonde.

"Yes?" Maura was savoring the taste of the cannoli. She had swallowed before answering.

"You've been so great to me for these last few months," Jane grabbed her girlfriend's free hand. "If it hadn't been for you, I probably wouldn't be here right now."

Maura frowned. This wasn't what she'd had in mind when Jane told her they needed to talk. Actually, Maura didn't like to assume so she hadn't had anything in mind. But, this wasn't satisfying. "Jane..." She tried to interrupt the detective.

Jane wasn't having that. "No," She said, firmly. "Maur, I need to get this out, okay?" Maura only nodded. "Since the day I've met you, I've been so intrigued in you. You're different, and that's blatantly obvious. That's what I like about you. I also like that you've always called me out on my shit. You didn't take it like anyone else did. We match, Maura. For everything I can't do, you can do. For everything you can't do, I can do. The past few months, you've been taking care of me. But, I couldn't help but notice that no one's been taking care of you."

"You need to be taken care of, Maur. I want to take care of you." Jane's hand was cupping her partner's face now. "Tonight is all about you."

"Jane," Maura whispered. Her hand had been covering Jane's. "I don't know what to say."

"Don't say anything." The brunette smiled as she rose. "Will you dance with me?" Maura nodded as she followed the elegant Jane to the living area. The brunette had moved some the furniture earlier in the day so they would have the room to slow dance. There had already been a playlist from Jane's iPhone ready for their evening. Jane simply pressed play before bringing the smaller woman to her. Maura's arms fit perfectly around Jane's neck. Jane's arms fit perfectly around Maura's waist.

The first song that began playing immediately explained how Jane had felt about her girlfriend. The two began swaying slowly as the music played between them. Jane kissed her girlfriend's neck softly, preparing to be as intimate tonight as possible.

_I never thought I'd fall so far down_

_ This incredibly long dark hole._

_ Something so sweet as the sound of your feet _

_ On the floor would give me more room to breathe._

Jane held the blonde tighter to her, feeling she hadn't been close enough. Their bodies hadn't been close enough together. Maura let out a soft moan at the contact as their bodies were pressed together. She wasn't sure if she'd be able to go back to not touching her partner after tonight. She'd been so content with just being emotionally with Jane. She hadn't thought she missed this so much. Now, being reminded by it so brutally, she knew it would be difficult to say goodbye to all of this in the morning. She knew she would mourn the death of their physical relationship if Jane closed up her heart again. She wasn't sure what the morning would bring so she tried to enjoy every moment of this as much as possible.

_ I'll say goodbye again tonight_

_ The third time's the charmer they say_

_ Your words are inked on my skin_

_ The marks of incredible love_

Jane had managed to move them to another part of the living area as they swayed. She let her fingers roam her lover's body. She wanted to become familiar with it before taking Maura to bed. After sliding her hands from Maura's waist to her firm ass, Jane waited for a negative reaction. When Maura simply kissed Jane's clavicle, Jane took that as permission. The brunette squeezed the honey blonde's ass before letting her fingers fall to the smaller woman's thighs. When she couldn't reach anywhere else she brought her fingers back up slowly. Maura's grip kept the taller woman secure in her arms.

_Incredible love, you fill me_

_ Incredible love, you spill me_

_ Incredible love, you kill me_

Jane began singing the words to her lover as they swayed. Maura smiled as she rested her head in Jane's neck. She breathed slowly, inhaling the natural scent of the brunette. It intoxicated her. She didn't know how long she'd be able to last with just dancing. But, the physical contact had been taking her over the edge as well. Even if Jane didn't plan on making love with her, she'd be okay with this moment right here. This expressed their love just as much as sex could.

_Everything says it's time to go_

_ But the smell of your skin makes me stay_

_ You are not mine to ask things of_

_ But I ask you anyway, I ask you anyway_

Maura's lips were on her partners neck now. She wanted to taste every part of Jane's skin. The taste had become vague to her. She kissed the base of Jane's neck before moving up to her chin. When Jane only guided them around the room, slowly, Maura knew she was permitted to continue. She licked Jane's bottom lip before claiming them with her own. The smaller woman's lips trembled as they suspended themselves between the two. Jane knew the honey blonde had been having trouble so she met her half way, pressing their lips together. When Jane's lips parted slightly, Maura took this as her chance to explore her lover's mouth. Her tongue slid into Jane's mouth ever so slowly, afraid of going too fast for the brunette.

_Incredible love, you fill me_

_ Incredible love, you spill me_

_ Incredible love, you kill me_

Jane felt a moan get caught in her throat when Maura's kiss deepened. The two women kissed slowly and softly, being careful with each other. Treating each other as if the other were fragile. This was actually the case with both of them. Maura wanted this all to be savored. She wanted this in her memory for the rest of her life. She wanted to go slow so that when she has moments of thinking back to this tonight, she won't forget a thing. Jane had initiated all of this but she'd still felt unworthy of her girlfriend. She wanted to be reassured that she were allowed t touch the honey blonde, but she also wanteed to be touched and touch without seeing the faces from her nightmares.

_You take it away but then give it right back_

_ Just take it away, and don't give it back_

_ Don't give it back, don't give it back_

_ Don't give it back, don't give it right back_

_ Don't give it right back, don't give it back_

Maura's fingers were holding Jane's face to her, so she had enough room to explore the brunette's kingdom. They'd stopped dancing together because Maura had to stand on the tips of her toes just to have enough leverage. Jane's hands were steadying her, just in case the honey blonde had lost her balance. When air became an primary necessity for the two women, they pulled away only slightly. Jane rested her forehead against the honey blondes. They began swaying again when Maura planted her feet back flat on the floor. Jane began singing to her lover again.

_Incredible love, you fill me_

_ Incredible love, you spill me_

_ Incredible love, you kill me_

_ Incredible love, incredible love_

_ Incredible love, incredible love_

When the next song began, the two women had tuned it out. They were still stuck on the first song. The song they knew that would become_ their _song. Maura was ready for Jane now and the brunette knew it. She pulled away from the honey blonde, only momentarily ignoring the whimper that came from her partner, she led the beautiful smaller woman back to their bedroom for the night. Jane had left the bedroom door opened because if she hadn't they wouldn't be able to hear the music anymore. She kissed her girlfriend softly, tasting the esquisite flavor of her lover.

"I love you," Jane whispered as she helped her partner out of the dress that had been sheilding them from feeling each other the way they both needed.

"I love you, Jane." Maura's lips captured her lover's once more. A moan was elicited from the brunette and this made the honey blonde chuckle slightly. Jane pulled away and turned around so that Maura could help her with her own dress. Maura searched for the zipper, once she located it, she tried to slowly pull it down. Her instinct had been to rip the damn thing from the brunette's body. She wouldn't have felt too bad about it, she would just replace it the very next morning if necessary.

Jane turned to face her girlfriend as she stepped out of the dress. Maura hadn't been wearing any underwear. "Why?" Jane questioned, appreciatively.

"I don't like the panty lines." Maura said, simply with a shrug. Jane smiled as she reached behind her partner to unhook the bra she'd been trapped in. Maura moaned when Jane's fingers grazed her sides then her back to find the clasps of the bra. Maura did the same for Jane when she felt her own bra become loose around her. The tall brunette pulled the straps down the honey blonde's arms. The two women escaped their bras and any other clothing that would have stopped them from touching.

"I'll be right back," Jane whispered. Maura nodded and made herself comfortable on their bed. She'd felt exposed to the brunette, but wasn't that what Jane had planned for the evening? For the two to search and discover each other's bodies so perfectly? When Jane returned, she'd had a box that had been about eight inches long and a glass of ice water in her other hand.

"What's in the box?" Maura asked, quietly.

Jane chuckled slightly at the question. It'd been a line from one of her favorite movies she loved to watch. "Just something we're going to need tonight." She put the glass of water on her nightstand. She rested the box next to it before joining her girlfriend. Jane relaxed herself between the honey blonde's legs, only using her arms to suspend herself above Maura. The two women's lips discovered each other again before Jane pulled away. She kissed the honey blonde's neck then her chest, slowly climbing her way down her partner's body.

"You smell so good," Jane whispered against Maura's right breast. She kissed the nipple that had been making an appearance, demanding attention. Jane took the nipple in her mouth as she watched her lover's reaction. Maura's head had been thrown back into the pillows as she let out a soft moan. Jane smiled to herself before moving over to the next nipple. She licked her lips before taking in the nipple. She wrapped her lips around it before sucking on it as softly as she could handle. Her teasing had just began.

Maura tried to urge the nipple further into Jane's mouth, attempting to create enough friction. Jane pulled back to blow on the nipple lightly. Maura moaned softly. Her fingers were sliding up Jane's back. She could feel the scars from the whips from that night. Feeling them had been different from imagining them from memory. It'd been different from seeing them from a distance when Jane had been hiding her body. Jane wasn't oblivious to the way Maura had been touching her, but she knew she would have to come to terms with it. So, she decided to move down some more.

Her fingers were still showing attention to Maura's nipples, just as Maura's fingers had been discovering and remembering the feel of Jane's scars. The brunette inhaled the scent of her lover's arousal. She bit her lip before nipping at the inside of the honey blonde's thighs. Maura had been saying something incoherently. It hadn't been directed towards Jane and somehow the brunette knew that because she never questioned it. The honey blonde decided it was time to feel her girlfriend's hair in her hands. She tangled her fingers as much as possible into the raven hair that excited her to no end.

Jane had wanted to take things slower than this but she'd lost her train of thought of she was greeted with a wet entrace that bewitched her. All she wanted was to take her lover at that moment, so that was what she'd done. She licked the honey blonde's clit, softly. When she was rewarded with a gasp and a moan, Jane smiled, proudly.

"Jane," The smaller woman breathed as she arched her back. "More." She begged. Jane's state of mind had been so lost, she would've done anything the honey blonde told her. She granted Maura's wish by sliding a finger into her entrance. She kept her attention on one nipple, her clit, and now the velvet core. "Mm, yes." The smaller woman encouraged. Jane added a finger and was again rewarded with a moan. Maura's moans hadn't stopped as Jane slowly rhythmatically slid her fingers in and out of the maoning honey blonde.

Maura moved her hips to match Jane's fingers, attempting to get more closer to her release. She'd been without one for nearly six months. She needed this more than Jane had known. She needed this more than she herself had originally known. Jane removed her fingers from the honey blonde, receiving a groan in result. She chuckled slightly before climbing back up her lover's body. She kissed the smaller woman, softly, before reaching over to the box that had been waiting for them.

"What's that?" Maura asked, becoming slightly worried their night had been over. Surely Jane hadn't thought Maura had reached her climax just yet.

"As much as I love the feel of being inside of you," Jane took the top off the box, carefully hiding the object that had been inside from Maura. "I think this will satisfy you more." She pulled out the harness that attached a teal dildo. Maura's favorite color.

"Jane," Maura breathed. She'd been prepared to say something else but when Jane had disregarded her and put the harness on anyway, she couldn't help but smile at the sight before. The way Jane looked in it. She'd been so sure of what she was doing. She looked so confident.

"Just let me make love to you." Was all Jane said, and she got her wish. The honey blonde had been pulling the brunette back down to her. When she felt the didlo against her sex she moaned, involuntarily. "And you were going to protest against this." Jane chuckled as she began to grind her hips. The rubber cock was pressed against Maura's clit. Whatever witty response she had for Jane was long gone out the window now. She swallowed hard, trying to keep her breaths even but it hadn't been working too well.

Her moans filled the air once more, this time companied by the sounds of the rubber cock meeting her wet entrance. Jane reached down to guide the cock into her lover. When Maura stiffened beneath her then began writhing, Jane reached over to turn on the vibrating bullet positioned on her own clit from the harness. Jane started off slow, careful not to hurt the honey blonde. When Maura's moans became more desperate, Jane obliged by thrusting harder and faster by the minute.

The air had been filled with sound of Maura and Jane's moans and the soft music that played throughout the house.

_It's undeniable that we should be together, _

_ It's unbelievable how I used to say, _

_ That I'd fall never,_

_ The basis is need to know_

_ If you don't know, _

_ Just how I feel_

_ Then let me show you now_

_ That I'm for real_

_ If all things in time_

_ Time will reveal_

The soft moans of both the women mixed with the music was the love Jane had been hoping to make. The two women found a steady pace so that they could enjoy the feeling of each other as long as possible. Jane's lips were on Maura's neck as she balanced herself on her elbows and forearms.

_ One, _

_ You're like a dream come true,_

_ Two, _

_ Just want to be with you, _

_ Three, _

_ Girl, it's plain to see, _

_ That you're the only one for me_

_ And four, _

_ Repeat steps one through three_

_ Five, _

_ Make you fall in love with me,_

_ If ever I believe my work is done,_

_ Then I'll start back at one_

"Jane," Maura whispered. "I love you so much, Jane."

"I love you, Maura." Jane moaned between thrusts. The vibrating bullet had almost been attached to her was having her see different shapes and colors. When the dildo found Maura's g-spot this elicited a slight scream.

"Right there!" Maura encouraged, her nails had been digging into Jane's shoulders now. When Jane simply guided the dildo away from the spot, Maura groaned. But, her moans once again filled the air, along with a soft laugh from Jane and the music.

"Not yet," Was all the brunette could say before joining her partner in paradise again.

_It's so incredible_

_ The way things work themselves out,_

_ And all emotional, _

_ You know what it's all about, _

_ And undesirable, _

_ For us to be apart_

_ I never would have made it very far_

_ Cause you know you've got the keys to my heart_

Maura's lips were on Jane for a moment before she let her teeth fill their spot. She bit down but not too hard on the brunette's shoulder, trying to cover her screams. Jane had been thrusting so hard into her now, she was so close to letting go. Jane was oblivious to how close she'd been sending her partner to the edge. She was lost in her own pleasure, trying to find her way back to reality.

_One, _

_ You're like a dream come true,_

_ Two, _

_ Just want to be with you, _

_ Three, _

_ Girl, it's plain to see, _

_ That you're the only one for me_

_ And four, _

_ Repeat steps one through three_

_ Five, _

_ Make you fall in love with me,_

_ If ever I believe my work is done,_

_ Then I'll start back at one_

The two women had been so close to their climax, it'd seemed like a breaking point to them. Jane had been bust sucking on Maura's neck to help aid her release. She couldn't go just yet, but she didn't know how long she'd be able to hold on. When Maura released Jane's skin, she cried out in pleasure not being able to hide it anymore. She locked her legs together, trying to keep Jane as close as possible. She wrapped her arms around Jane's midsection, still hoping to keep the brunette close.

_Say farewell to the dark of night_

_ I see the coming of the sun_

_ I feeel like a little child_

_ Whose life has just begun _

_ You came and breathed new life_

_ Into this lonely heart of mine_

_ You threw out the lifeline_

_ Just in the nick of time_

Both women couldn't hold on any longer. There had been slight resistance to Jane's thrusts and she knew that Maura was close. The brunette captured the smaller woman's lips with her own, trying to cover the scream that she knew was coming. Maura had been working up to it. Jane herself had been working up to it. Both women pulled away, taking steady breaths before letting go. A wave of pleasure hit both women at the same time harder than it'd ever hit them before. But they hadn't stopped moving, they wanted to ride this wave out together for as long as possible. It became harder to fuck Maura due to her clenched walls around the dildo. When Maura's arms fell limp next to her, Jane knew her orgasm was over. Both women laid there, unmoving, just breathing heavily. Their foreheads rested against each other. Jane finally moved first by sliding out of her lover and removing the harness from her body. She threw it somewhere into the room, somewhere irrelevant.

_One, _

_ You're like a dream come true,_

_ Two, _

_ Just want to be with you, _

_ Three, _

_ Girl, it's plain to see, _

_ That you're the only one for me_

_ And four, _

_ Repeat steps one through three_

_ Five, _

_ Make you fall in love with me,_

_ If ever I believe my work is done,_

_ Then I'll start back at one_

The lovers fell asleep just as they were. Jane was relaxed between Maura's legs, and Maura had her arms around so tightly around Jane, hoping to keep her there all night. For the first time in a long time, both women felt just how much they loved each other. Their capacity to love had been shown tonight. Emotionally taking care of one another and physically taking care of one another. For the night, just for tonight, all was right in their world.

Jane's POV

I feel Maura still asleep under me as I stir myself awake. Her breathing is tickling my neck, so much that it makes me laugh a little. I can tell that she's deeply asleep so I roll off of her slowly, carefully not alarming her or anything. I can still feel the sensations of last night. I think I can still feel her lips on my skin. The pain in my shoulder tells me that it all wasn't a dream. I look at the bite mark that Maura had left. I smile as I pull her closer to me, letting her rest against my chest. Maura's subconscious tells her to wrap her arms around me. I smile. God she looks so damn beautiful.

"Jane," She mumbles.

"Hmm?" I'm in paradise with this woman and I don't ever want to leave.

"Go back to sleep." She murmurs, sleepily. I try not laughing but my body is just shaking beneath her. I take a deep breath to pull myself together.

"I love you," I whisper to her. "More than you know."

"Je t'aime." She whispers back before falling back asleep. I can tell when she's asleep again because her body is limp against mine. I play with her hair until I fall asleep again, myself.

Maura's POV

Jane's still asleep when I wake up. I'm a bit grumpy from her waking me up earlier. I'd been comfortable with her lying on top of me. When she switched positions so that I'd been partially lying on top of her, I felt cold. It wasn't as satisfying, but I know she probably thought that she'd been hurting me. She wasn't. She could never hurt me unless she left me again.

I stroke her raven hair as she snores lightly. "Vous etes beau, my Jane." I whisper. "So beautiful." I feel the arousal building up in me again. I had worried for this. I knew that last night could have been a one time thing, but I was already addicted to making love to her. I could hear the music still filling my house as if it belonged there. The first song Jane and I danced is soothing me back to sleep. I don't want to sleep just yet. I want to savor this moment. I want to remember this moment for as long as I can. Her right hand is laced with my left, so I bring it to my lips to kiss it. I kiss her scar on her arm before settling our hands where they had been before. I look down to see her scars. The dim lighting from the rising sun makes it a bit easier to her.

Jane's stomach is rising and lowering rhythmatically. I run the thumb of my left hand along the scars that it can reach. Some of them overlap each other, some of them are alone by themselves. No matter where the scars are, no matter what they look like, no matter their reasoning for being on skin; I still love my Jane. I still think she's the most beautiful woman in the world. With that feeling and thought, I fall back asleep.

* * *

><p><strong>Gooooo review!<strong>


	22. Try

The ring of the doorbell is the first thing to wake Jane again. She wasn't sure what she'd heard but she knew that it'd scared the crap out of her. The brunette slowly and carefully slid from underneath her companion. Maura only rolled over, unphased. Jane smiled, planning on watching her sleep a bit longer. The ring of the doorbell stole her attention again. Jane sighed and hurried to put a shirt and shorts on. She'd grabbed some clothes from the drawer that Maura had dedicated to her. The clothes she'd stole of Jane's. A month after dating, the honey blonde had admitted to having some of Jane's clothing. When making into the living area, Jane grabbed her iPhone to stop the music. Being closer to it now, made it a lot louder.

Jane had grabbed her gun from her holster that had been on Maura's bedside table before leaving the room. Jane looked out of the peep hole to see a man patiently waiting. She sighed, deciding this man was of no threat to her Maura. She put the gun behind her in the waistband of her shorts. When she opened the door, she could see more clearly that the man had worked for UPS.

"I have a package for Maura Isles." He stated, handing a clipboard to Jane. She signed for it then accepted the package for Maura.

"Thank you." She said before closing the door. The package had been from Maura's favorite online shoe store. Jane scoffed then smiled. She'd been curious to see what type of heels her partner had gotten this time, but she knew better than to open the package without permission. Jane put the gun away before returning to the living area. She began cleaning the dishes, careful not to wake the sleeping Maura. When she'd figured the kitchen was clean enough, Jane started on making breakfast for her girlfriend.

French toast, although there hadn't been much that was French about it. Pancakes. Fruit salad with some yogurt. Jane had been so busy listening to the soft music that came from her iPhone, she hadn't heard the light padding of Maura's feet walking down the hallway into the kitchen.

"Good morning," The honey blonde said, her tone full of surprise to see that Jane had been making breakfast. "It smells amazing in here." She grinned. She'd been waiting for the brunette to initiate skin contact.

Jane turned to the honey blonde with a smile. "Thanks," She took a few steps to the sink. She scrubbed her hands clean before cupping the smaller woman's face. She leaned down to kiss her girlfriend. "Care to join me at the table?"

Maura looked up at the brunette with a smile. "Of course," She'd wanted more than just a peck on the lips. She'd wanted what she'd had last night. Jane watched the doctor walk to the table in the dining room. Maura wore a tight blue silk robe. _Clean_. Jane thought to herself. She sighed, trying to hide the thoughts.

"I've got to talk to you," She said to the still tired honey blonde.

Maura yawned before responding. "I like the way you address our talks now," Maura giggled. "But, I don't think I have enough time to make love as slowly as we did last night."

"Actually," Jane was at the table with her girlfriend now. "I think you do have enough time."

Maura frowned, her brows furrowed in confusion. "What do you mean?" Jane was back in the kitchen getting their orange juice. She sat down across from the smaller woman. "Jane?"

"I, uh," Jane stammered. "I asked Cavanaugh if he could give you an extra week of vacation time."

"Why?" The honey blonde had been slightly angry, only slightly.

"I know you're probably tired of me," The brunette joked. "But, I know my returning to work is bothering you. I know that when I do return to work things won't be the way they are now. We'll be working together again. So, I guess, I wanted us to have one good week where it wasn't about me recovering or you having to take care of me. Ma and I have been working for like two weeks to get everything set up."

"What are you talking about?" The honey blonde asked, very confused.

"We rented a beach house in Hawaii." Jane informed. "Ma and I rented a beach house for you and I. For a week. For this week."

A grin claimed the doctor's face. "Really?" She was so excited now she couldn't even eat. "Oh, gosh. I've got to call Dr. Pike, I should let my mother know that I have to cancel dinner plans with her."

"Everything has been taken care of," Jane said, proudly. She was glad she'd gotten this reaction from her girlfriend. In fact, she'd been a bit worried that Maura wouldn't be as excited as she was now. "Except for cancelling dinner with your mother."

"When do we leave?" Maura asked, a bit nervous. She hadn't had time to plan what she'd wanted to wear.

"Three." Jane smiled. "We're making one stop in Texas."

"I've got to pack!" Maura looked at the clock on the stove. It'd been eight in the morning, already. "I need to go out and get some new clothes. I don't have anything to wear for their tropical weather."

"I was kind of hoping you'd wear a bikini the whole time." Jane winked. "Don't worry, Ma will be here soon so you can go shopping with her."

"What about you?" Maura asked, slightly horrified that her lover hadn't had anything packed. Jane was known to be unorganized but it couldn't be to this degree. "What are you going to wear?"

"I've got everything packed, Maur." She was sure Maura thought they'd be around other people, but that wasn't the case. It would be just the two of them and the comfortable silence of nature. "I've got a few things to do today, that's why Ma's taking you."

"And in other words, you hate shopping." The honey blonde smiled.

Jane chuckled. "Especially with you." She bit her lip. "Finish your breakfast. Ma will be here soon and you've still got to shower."

"Hmm," Maura hummed. She didn't want to wash off their night together. She could still feel Jane on her skin. When the honey blonde finished her breakfast she let Jane take care of the dishes. She spent that time planning out what she'd wanted to wear for the day.

"Maur?" Jane called when she entered their bedroom.

They honey blonde had been starting her shower. "In the bathroom." She told Jane as she took off her robe.

"I just wanted to know if you wanted some company?" The tall brunette had been leaning against the threshhold, patiently awaiting an answer. Maura had been so surprised, she'd lost her voice. All she could do was bite her lip and nod. Jane grinned as she stripped herself of her layers.

In the shower, Jane had been oblivious to the affect she had on her lover. Maura stood in front of her, begging herself not to turn around and look at the naked Jane. She told herself that she couldn't be greedy. She was blessed with an amazing night. When Maura felt a pair of lips on her shoulder she did everything she could from taking Jane right then and there.

"What's wrong?" Jane asked, her tone hinting that she'd been hurt that she'd been rewarded with no reaction from the doctor.

"N-nothing," Maura swallowed hard. "I g-guess I'm just n-not used to you touching me s-so much."

"I told you I want to take care of you," Jane reminded her lover, patiently. "I'm making up for three months."

"You don't have to do this, Jane." Maura turned around. She had to ignore the pain of the hot water on her back. "I know how difficult this is for you."

"So?" Jane knew she was going to win this argument. "I just need some of that therapy you're always going on with Frost about."

"Immersion therapy?" The smaller woman was wrapped in Jane's arms. Jane nodded. "I just don't want you to think that I'm trying to force you into this, Jane."

"I'm willing to do _this_, Maur." She kissed the smaller woman's lips softly then pulled away. "I want_ this_." She emphasized by squeezing her arms tighter around Maura. "We said we would have to work at this. I want to work at this, for you."

"I love you so much, Jane." The honey blonde's face had been against Jane's neck, trying to inhale as much as she could.

"I know," The brunette laughed a little. She was going to say something else to the honey blonde but she could her Ma yelling something throughout the house. "Well there goes our chances of having a quickie."

Maura chuckled, tiredly. "Maybe you should've left her to clean the dishes."

"I would never hear the end of it." Jane was grabbing the honey blonde's body wash. "Here, we really need to finish this shower. She's not shy about walking in here."

"Oh, God." That thought scared Maura into hurrying on with her shower. She moved at such a fast pace it made the brunette laugh as she watched. "I've got to get going." The honey blonde said as she turned to kiss her girlfriend.

"You and Ma will be back here around one." Jane assured. "I'll see you then."

"Okay." Maura frowned. "I love you."

"I love you, Maur." The brunette whispered as she girlfriend left to get dressed and leave. The brunette stayed in the shower a little longer. She knew that she had about four hours to herself all day. What she would do with her day, she had no idea.

* * *

><p>Jane's POV<p>

When I got to the precinct, I'd expected it to be a tad empty. It hadn't been empty but it was slow. Frankie had been sitting at my desk talking with Barry about something. I couldn't hear it, but when I got closer to them, they'd stopped.

"Janie," Frankie said, getting up to give me his seat at my old desk. "What are you doing here?"

"Ma took Maura shopping." I sighed.

He laughed. "Sounds like you're lonely." I nodded. "We could use your help on a case."

"Yeah," Barry handed me the paper they'd been looking at before I walked in. I looked down at it. None of names on the list made sense to me. "We've got twelve college girls having a slumber party..."

"College girls?" I asked, unconvinced. He only nodded. "What has the world come to."

"Anyways," Frankie chuckled. "One of the girls was murdered. The only people that were in the house were the twelve girls and their house mother. We're trying to figure out what motive each one of them had for wanting Tia dead."

I looked more closely at the paper. Next to each name was a reason for motive. "I see," I thought for a moment. "You want to know which one should be the primary suspect?"

"Yeah." They both nodded. "What do you think?" Barry asked.

"I don't know." I frowned. "I'd say Jasmine. Tia somehow ended up with a new Louis Vuitton bag when Jasmine's secret piggy bank went missing?"

"That's a lot of money," Frankie said. "I'd kill you if you stole thousands of dollars from me."

"I'd kill myself for using it on a stupid bag." I laughed. "I'd ask the other girls if Tia and Jasmine had any other problems. Also, try asking around to their classmates. They'll tell you more. These girls are practically like sisters. They just might protect each other even if they knew one was a murderer."

"Thanks." Frankie smiled. "We sure missed you."

"We?" Barry questioned. "I sure missed you. It's hard breaking in a Rizzoli."

We all shared a small laugh. "I'm guessing you're taking Howard's desk?" I pointed to the empty desk.

"Yeah," Frankie sighed. "I'm going to be partnered with Hanson."

"Stinky Brinky?" I felt bad for the poor kid. Brink Hanson was one fat son a bitch. It had nothing to do with his weight. It was the things he ate. Beans seemed to be his diet. Being in the car with him was torture and hell. "Damn." I frowned.

"Don't feel bad for me," Frankie shrugged. "I love smelly people." His sarcasm made me laugh. "Whatever, though. Couldn't take another day with Frost, anyway."

"I'm an excellent partner!" Barry defended.

"That's not what Cece said." I retorted. This made Frankie and I laugh. Barry mocked anger. It only made me laugh harder. God, I missed these guys. "Where's Korsak?"

"Out questioning some people," Barry frowned. "He should be back in an half hour."

"I won't be around," I sighed. "He still hates me." Vince held a grudge against me for leaving homicide. Even after telling him I would be returning, he still felt like I'd turned my back on him. I remembered when I'd gotten Ma to invite him to the first family dinner we had since_ that night_. It was the night Maura and I told everyone about us. Everyone had been glad that I'd been getting back to my old self. The person I was before I even left Boston. Everyone but Vince.

_"I made Cannoli's." Ma said as she put them on the table. I smiled, not really hungry for anything. Maura was watching me, carefully. It was like she was waiting for the wrong reaction from me to see if she should call the entire dinner off. _

_ "Hey, Doc." I heard from the front door. It was Frankie. "How are you?" I heard him kiss her cheek. _

_ "I've certainly been better, Frankie." I heard her say. "Yourself?" _

_ "I'm just glad to be here." Frankie had been closer to me. "Hey, Ma. I brought some soda." _

_ "The doctor doesn't drink pop, Frankie. You know that." Ma shrilled from the kitchen. _

_ "Hey, sis." Frankie was at my side now. I'd been faced towards the TV, on Maura's couch. _

_ "Shh," I hushed him, quickly. I pointed to the TV to show him that the Boston Celtics had been playing. _

_ "Who's winning?" He asked. I gave him a look. "Oh, right." He quieted himself. As we waited for the rest of the guest to arrive and the food to finish, Frankie and I watched the rest of the game. _

_ "Jane," Maura and Ma said simultaneously. "Detective Cruz is here." Maura told me. _

_ "I hope the Celtics are winning," Cece said as she joined Frankie and me on the couch. I laughed and nodded. "Good." _

_ "How you been?" I asked as I watched her bring her beer to her lips. _

_ She swallowed before answering. "Been better." She looked back at Barry, who'd just been arriving. "It didn't last long." Barry and Cecilia had been seeing each other since the night they all saved me. The night before the family dinner, Barry had told me he'd called it quits with her. He'd never told me why so I'd been pinned on asking Cece. _

_ "I'm sorry." I frowned. "Why?" _

_ "He said I think I'm a better detective than him." She seemed unconvinced that'd been the real reason. "I think that's impossible for me to judge, considering we are in two different units." _

_ "Yeah," I agreed with her. "He's just a big baby." _

_ Cece chuckled. "Yes, he is." She frowned. "I miss him." _

_ "Want me to talk to him?" I offered._

_ She shook her head. "No, it's okay. I'll move on. Cecilia De La Cruz always moves on." I tried not to laugh at her third person sentence but I found myself chuckling. _

_ "Oh, geat." I heard Ma say. "Everyone's here." I turned around to see if that had been true. The game hadn't even been over yet, although I already knew the Celtics would win. Ma was right. All my family had arrived. Maura, Frankie, Barry, Vince, and Cecilia. And of course Ma, but that goes without saying. _

_ "Sure looks good, Mrs. Rizzoli." I heard Barry compliment. I made a face at him. I would be upset with him until I knew he apologized for hurting Cece. _

_ "Hey, Vince." I said as I helped him take off his coat. I put it on the coat hanger where I knew Maura and Ma would want it. If I hadn't put it there, I would have been yelled at for the rest of the night. "I just want you to know that I have nothing against you dating Ma. Just don't hurt her, okay?" _

_ "Or what?" He looked at me. "You'll just switch units again?" _

_ "Okay..." I watched him go over to kiss Ma and take a seat next to her. Maura patted the seat next to her. I smiled and obliged. _

_ "So, how are you Jane?" Barry asked. I hadn't talked to him much since the unfortunate incident. _

_ "Without Maura," I pushed my food around on my plate. I listened to the clattering and chewing of the people around me at the table. "I probably wouldn't be doing this right now. I mean...I'm still having nightmares but she makes things a lot better." _

_ "Jane," Maura's hand found mine under the table. "I think you're just more emotionally stronger than most people." _

_ "Maybe." I frowned as I pushed my dinner around more. No one had been noticing that I hadn't been eating. When everyone had been done eating, Cece and I retired to the couch again to watch the highlights from the game. Frankie and Barry had been forced to listen to 'interesting' facts from Maura. Vince had been forced to wash the dishes with Ma. Served him right. _

_ "So, how are you and Vince?" Cece asked, she'd been picking up on the way he'd been treating me all night. _

_ "He'll move on." I shrugged. "You like my Maura, right?" _

_ "I love her." Cece laughed. "She's different. I think you guys are the perfect match." _

_ "Thanks." I smiled. "I'm gonna go help them with the dishes. I can hear Vince complaining already." _

_ When I reached the kitchen, I pulled out a bottle of water and listened to the conversations around me. Maura had been discussing bird feces. I immediately tuned out of that conversation. "I'm just saying, Vince. You don't have to be so mean to her." I heard Ma say. I felt my metaphoric ear grow in size. _

_ "I'm not." Vince defended. "I just feel a little betrayed, Ang." _

_ "She didn't betray you." Ma's voice was firm. I didn't want them fighting because of me so I decided it was time to step in. _

_ "Hey, Ma," I turned to them. "Let me finish these for you." I flashed a smile. She was hesitant at first but she knew Vince and I needed some time alone. She kissed my cheek before walking away. "Huh." I breathed as I turned to the dishes. _

_ "What?" Vince stopped. _

_ "You're that mad at me, Korsak?" I felt bad for referring to him in such a professional manner but I needed to get my point across. "Look, I get it. You think I betrayed you when I decided to get a new partner. You think I betrayed you when I left Boston. You think I betrayed you when I returned and decided to transfer units. Vince, I'm sorry that I hurt you, but don't you think I'm trying?" _

_ "I know, Janie." He sighed. "I'm just being an old fart." _

_ I chuckled. "Yeah you are." I smiled over at him. "If you're going to be mad at me, at least keep it professional around Ma, okay? Otherwise she'll just end up dumping you." _

_ "Think she'd really do that?" He sounded worried. _

_ "Faster than a cat lands on its feet." I knew my smile had been smug but I didn't care. He needed to hear the truth. Hopefully he would heed the warning. _

Vince had been professional, but I could tell there had been more anger behind his words. We watched a few games together, hell he even high fived me when Maura took us to the Pilgrims game.

"Where's Cece, anyway?" I finally asked as we all sat in silence.

Barry had been the first to respond. Not only verbally, but physically, I watched him tense up. "Yeah," He frowned. "She's down in the morgue with Dr. Pike."

"Okay." I was up from my seat now. "See you goons in a week."

"Woah, woah!" Frankie reached for my arm but then drapped his hand immediately, remembering how much I hated to be touched.

"What do you mean in a _week_?" Barry asked.

"Maura and I are taking a vacation." I thought they'd already known this. I knew Ma couldn't keep a secret very well, but the secret was only for Maura and other people who couldn't keep a secret. "Ma didn't tell you?" I looked to Frankie.

"She said you had something big planned," Frankie took his seat back. "I honestly thought you were going to propose."

I almoste choked. "What?" I tried to steady my breathing. "We've only been together for three months!"

"So?" Barry joined in. "You two have known each other for how long? Like three years. You've been in love for like two years." It'd been longer than that but it didn't count since we hadn't told each other.

"Yeah," Frankie agreed. "I would be surprised. I mean it's not like you have to get married in six months. Terra and Kevin Harper from high school were engaged since Senior year. They got married after graduate school."

"I know this," I sighed. "I just don't think we're ready. I'm just becoming comfortable with...you know...with her."

"Oh, ew! Jane!" Frankie protested, covering his ears. "That's sick!"

Barry laughed. "What a newbie." I shook my head, disapprovingly at the two before going downstairs to see Cece. She'd been just leaving the morgue, waiting for the elevators.

"Hey," She said with a surprised smile. "Maura's not here."

"I know." I frowned. "She's out shopping with Ma."

"Ah," She took a few steps away from the elevator. "What are you doing here?"

"Just wanted to see you." I smiled. "I just wanted to know if there were any hard feelings between us. About me returning to homicide."

"No," Cecilia looked down. "I'm definitely going to miss you, though." She crossed her arms in front of her chest. "But, I'm glad you're just doing what makes you happy."

"What about you?" I asked. "Are you happy?"

"About this?" She asked. "No." She shook her head. "But, like I said, Cecilia De La Cruz always moves on."

I chuckled. "You're just upset that you'll have to break in a new detective." I'd been hoping this would make her feel better but she didn't smile. I frowned again. "It's not you, Cece."

"Feels like you're breaking up with me." She smiled, slightly.

"We can still be friends." I tried.

"Now I _know_ you're breaking up with me." She chuckled, slightly. "I know we can still be friends. It'll probably be better that we're not going to be partners anymore. I guess I expected it. Vince warned me. So did Barry."

"But, you thought you were different?" I guessed.

She nodded. "I knew it was a long shot. I guess I just wanted to be in your life a lot longer."

"Cece, we're still going to be working in the same building," I told her. "If you miss me enough, just come downstairs and drag me to lunch with you."

She smiled. "I'll hold you to that, Rizzoli. I'll drag you and that pretty girlfriend you have down to the diner down the street."

She smiled. "Okay." I could tell that I'd reassured her for now. I would just have to prove to her that she wasn't going to lose me as a friend. "We still have our baseball games. I'll just be kicking your ass since you'll be on the wrong side."

"No way," I tried to act tough. "We have Maura. Trust me, she's pretty good. Even though her batting stance is a little weird."

"But it's_ you _I'll be really playing against, Rizzoli."

"Hmm," I thought for a moment. "How about we have a pickup game when I get back from Hawaii?"

"Let's make it basketball, though." She suggested, friendly. "It'll be a little odd just playing catch."

"Hell, if you want a pickup game of basketball." I rubbed my hands together. "We don't have to wait until I get back." I looked at my watch. "I've got three hours to kill."

"Fine." Cece grinned. "Let's go, then!"

* * *

><p>Maura had returned with Angela back to her house. The two honey blondes packed all of the bags she would need.<p>

"You know," Angela began as she transferred the new shirts from the shopping bags to the suitcase. "When Janie came to me two weeks ago, telling me she needed help on all of this. I honestly thought she'd been planning on asking you to marry her."

"I wouldn't say no." Maura assured her friend. "Even if I weren't ready. I would probably still tell her yes."

"I know." Angela smiled. "I'm so happy she has you."

Maura chuckled. "I'm happy to have her, Angie. She's truly a magnificant woman." Angela knew Maura genuinely adored her daughter. It was something she'd always hoped for. Someone to take care of Jane, because she knew the detective couldn't do it herelf.

Jane and Cece entered the house from their pickup game that had been in the park near Maura's home. "What something to drink?" Jane asked as she threw the basketball to the blonde.

"Yeah." Cece carefully put the ball near the door. "Where's the Doc?"

"Right here." Maura greeted as she and Angela emerged from her bedroom. "Hello, Cecilia."

"Hi, Doc." The blonde gave her best smile, feeling slightly guilty that she'd stolen Jane away from her for a few hours. "I brought your girlfriend back in one piece, for you."

Maura was over near Jane now, standing on the tips of her toes to give her partner a small kiss. When their lips touched, she'd immediately wanted more. She settled for what she had and pulled away with a smile. "Thank you." She smiled. Actually, she'd loved the way the tall brunette looked. She wore a black shirt with the sleeves ripped off. Her green basketball shorts were claimed by the Boston Police Department. Jane's hair was in a sloppy lazy bun. She'd still been panting and sweating from the game.

"Finally she has someone else to be rough with," Angela commented. "She's always so rough with Frankie. When he ends up hurting her she gets mad at _me_ because I point out why she shouldn't be rough with him."

"Ma," Jane groaned. "Frankie and I aren't rough with each other. He's elbowed in the nose like once."

"You are a bit overathletic, dear." Maura said, quietly. Hoping it wouldn't fuse an argument so close their departure.

"Yeah, yeah." Jane made a mocking face. "Anyways, I need to shower again. I think I can smell the yogurt I had for breakfast through my sweat." She heard Cece and Angela laugh, Maura hadn't found the joke to be funny.

"How could you..." Maura began but then figuring out it'd been a joke and that she shouldn't have taken it so literal. "Nevermind."

"I'll see you next week," Cece said before picking up her basketball. "Have a good trip, Doc." She flashed a smile.

"Thank you, Cecilia." Maura gave her an sincere smile. "Oh," She tried to stop the other honey blonde before she left. "Cecilia, I need to speak with you, for a moment."

"Okay..." Cece seemed almost afraid to be alone with the other smaller woman. Maura had joined her on the front porch. Meanwhile, Angela had been badgering her daughter.

"Do you think Maura's yelling at her or something?" Angela asked, trying to peek through the window.

"I don't know, Ma." Jane gave off that she didn't care but what could Maura possibly tell Cece that couldn't wait a week? "I'm going to go hop in the shower before we leave."

"You should do that," Angela agreed, finally giving up on trying to eavesdrop. "We have an hour and thirty minutes until we need to leave."

"Yeah, yeah." Jane said over her shoulder as she made her way to the master bedroom. Maura had been dressed up, although to Maura, herself, she hadn't been wearing her finest. To Jane, she looked like a runway model. The brunette felt insecure next to her companion, but she knew that was just Maura. She dressed well for herself, not to make Jane feel unworthy. The brunette settled on sweats and a fitted hoodie from the Boston Police Department. It would be a day of flying, anyway. Why should she look as good as Maura? One of them had to look like a normal human being.

"Honey?" Jane heaard from the bedroom. She'd been in the shower now.

"In here." She hadn't heard the pitch octave of the voice, so she hadn't been sure if it'd been Maura or Angela.

"Your mother left to go get me a few magazines." Maura said with a grin. "I was hoping...if we had time..."

Jane chuckled. "You want a quickie?"

"So to speak." Maura's grin faded only slightly. "Is it too much to ask?" She frowned, worried she'd crossed the line now.

"No," The brunette exited the shower, wrapping the waiting towel around herself. "I just really hope we have time for this."

"I'm sure we can manage." Before Jane could respond, Maura's lips were against hers. The kiss was desperate, Maura needed this release again. She missed kissing her girlfriend. They'd tried kissing before, and it worked until Jane's nightmares got in the way. Jane politely told her that she wasn't ready for kissing again. Maura understood, but that didn't mean that she liked it. Jane was already unbuttoning Maura's jeans. She untucked the honey blonde's shirt and pulled the jeans down slightly. Only slightly enough for access for her girlfriend's clit. That was all she needed for now to get her other half off.

"I want to touch you," The honey blonde whispered when she pulled away from Jane's lips. When Jane didn't say anything back, she pulled the towel away. Jane's skin was red from showering and scrubbing herself until she felt worthy of touching Maura. Maura felt her throat tighten. The brunette still felt unworthy. No matter the amount of touching they'd been doing in the past twenty-hours. The brunette was still digusted with herself.

"Maur," Jane groaned. The honey blonde had been studying all of the scars on her companion's body. They looked much like the ones she'd been studying earlier in the morning. It'd been much easier then because Jane hadn't been awake to protest. Maura kissed every scar that she could reach without moving too much. When Jane's fingers began pumping against her clit, the honey blonde moaned. Jane was trying to distract her.

The smaller woman's fingers ran down Jane's body, passing her scars, passing some of the reddest parts of her skin, just to reach the taller woman's clit. Both women rubbed each other's clits, almost furiously. Jane had closed the master bathroom door, just in case her mother returned earlier than planned. Of course she would, Maura had been taking her time._ Maybe I'll have to explain what quickies are to her. _Jane thought to herself. _Why am I thinking about this now? _The brunette tried refocusing on the beautiful honey blonde in front of her. The woman that was willing to give her any and everything. Their moans filled the bathroom, echoing them loudly. This had been a bit more exciting to Jane. She could hear her girlfriend's pleasure twice as much as she could before.

"Jane," The smaller woman begged. "Give me what I want." Jane was unsure to what the honey blonde had been speaking of. There had been so many things the smaller woman wanted but Jane wasn't ready to give. At some point, Maura had gotten rid of her jeans and underwear. Jane smiled as she grabbed the honey blonde by the waist. She picked her up and sat her on the counter of the bathroom. She knelt down onto the floor, her long torso coming to good use for once in her life. She licked the other woman's clit, letting two fingers slide into the honey blonde's pussy. This was what the woman wanted. She hadn't wanted it exactly this way, but this is what she needed. She needed to feel the brunette inside of her. She wanted to be inside of the brunette.

Jane knew exactly where her lover's g-spot had been. She knew exactly how to touch her girlfriend to get the reaction she wanted. She wanted to hear girlfriend almost screaming her name, the way she did the first time they had sex. Thrusting her fingers harder into the honey blonde, she wasn't being gentle anymore. She was getting what she wanted when she wanted it. Jane heard the front door of Maura's house open and close. She covered Maura's screams with her lips. She happily swallowed of the sounds her partner had been making.

The honey blonde began shaking as she her orgasm built up in her. She attached herself to the brunette's shoulders, her fingers digging into them. She wasn't careful about not hurting the brunette, but if she had, the taller woman never let on. It didn't take long for Maura to fall over the edge of pleasure when her Jane had applied pressure with her thumb to the smaller woman's clit. Maura took one sharp gasp before her walls clenched around Jane's fingers, she began moving her hips to ride the orgasm out. Jane smiled against her lips as she accepted her lovers cries, moans, and screams into her mouth. When the honey blonde appeared to be done, she removed her fingers, slowly. This elicited a moan from the smaller woman, as she leaned against the mirror of the bathroom.

"I still want to touch you," Maura mumbled. Her fingers were finding new scars she hadn't felt before. "Please?"

"We don't have the time." Jane backed away, as she picked the towel up from beside Maura. "Maybe later." She had no real intentions of that. She wasn't ready for the honey blonde to see just how scarred she was. Maura sighed, heavily, obviously displeased now. Jane chuckled, handing the honey blonde her panties and jeans.

"Thank you." She glared. Jane knew she wasn't really angry with her, so wasn't shy about laughing at the honey blonde. "I hope you lose your favorite pair of shorts on this trip."

"That'll teach me!" She called after the retreating honey blonde. She laughed more as she pulled her panties on. She put on her bra soon after. Jane settled for an v-neck shirt to wear under her hoodie.

"We have to leave," Angela said, peeking from behind the bedroom door. She wore a slight smirk, carefully trying to hide it. She'd entered the house when the two partners had been having sex. When Maura continued screaming, she'd decided to open and close the front door as loudly as she could without making it seem like she'd been slamming it. That seemed to work because all she could hear were mumbled sounds coming from the doctor.

"Okay." Jane grabbed her headphones from Maura's tall dresser. "I'm ready." She grabbed her bags. Maura had already grabbed hers on her way out earlier. "What's with you?" She finally noticed the smirk on her mother's face.

"Nothing," Angela chuckled. "Nothing at all." Jane gave up, not caring enough to know what had been wrong with Angela. Around her teens, she learned to just give up. Jane wrapped a bag around her and pulled the wheeled one through the house, to the car that seemed to be the one they were taking. Jane and Maura checked to see if they'd had everything. After deciding they had everything important, the two women joined Angela in her car. Jane took the back seat, because she gladly wanted to tune out whatever conversation on flowers her Ma had dragged Maura in.

When they reached the airport, they checked in with record time. "I'm going to miss you guys." Angela said as she hugged Maura first.

"Oh, Angela," Maura squeezed the older woman in her arms. "We'll miss you too."

"Speak for yourself." Jane mumbled. Maura hit her arm. She chuckled. "Sorry, Ma. We'll _both_ miss you."

"No you won't, Janie." Angela smiled. "I accepted that a long time ago." Jane only smiled as she accepted her mother into her arms. "Be safe and careful!"

"Alright, Ma." The brunette quickly pulled away, becoming uncomfortable. "I have to use the restroom. I'll meet you by the gate, okay?"

Maura nodded. "Sure." She smiled. "I think she'll miss you." The honey blonde confided to the older woman. "She just doesn't like to be so open about her feelings. What am I telling you this for? You know her more than I do."

"That's where you're wrong." The older woman wrapped her arm around the younger woman's shoulders as she guided them to the gate. "I've known Janie all of her life and most of mine. But, she's more open with you. I mean, you probably know her more than I do now. Since...that night."

"Yes." Maura agreed. "She has opened up to me. But, you know what makes her feel better. You can make her zoo animal pancakes and even though she won't admit it, it'll make her better. Despite how open she is to me, sometimes I'm just so clueless about how she feels." The honey blonde sighed, sadly.

"It takes time, honey." The older woman assured. "Trust me. You'll be begging me to take Jane away from you in a few years." Maura let out a shaky laugh. She would never be able to just pawn Jane off to her mother because the brunette was being difficult. Of course, there were times Maura did want to just walk away. Maura sighed as she and Angela waited for Jane to return. This was going to be long a trip and that was exactly what she needed. She needed this in her memory to return to when times with Jane got difficult.

* * *

><p><strong>Sorry for the boring long chapter. It was really just a bridge to get them to Hawaii. Also, the last two chapters were supposed to look different but FF wouldn't let me edit them because server at my house and it don't like each other. I'm going to have to update twice a week, now. This story is going to take a while to finish, so while I finish writing it, I'm going to publish my random written short stories. It should get you all by until I can figure out how I want to write their trip. I don't want to skip it because I want you all to see that I can write them happy together. I'm starting to think I'm only good with writing drama. I have so many ideas for when Jane returns back to work but I'm not sure what I'll do about this trip. Ugh. So this story is on a short hiatus. I haven't left you all completely stranded. Wrote three short stories for you to get your fix. Go read them and review them! Let me know what you think because that way I'll probably continue writing them and publishing them when I'm at the hospital doing chemo. So like I said, review and go look at the other stories. <strong>


	23. Chapter 23

_**I am sad to report that the owner of this account, Jay, has passed away. Most of you know about his battle with cancer. He fought until the end. I, his best friend and a fellow writer just thought some of you should know. I spread the news on my own story (Know You Now) but I knew it wouldn't reach everyone who cared for his writing. Thank you all for the kind words about his stories. He will be terribly missed and as for now, I have no interest in finishing his stories for him. Thank you for your time.**_


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